Is DH U or is my mother?

[makingbacon]

It was my mums birthday yesterday. On Tuesday I ordered a card online, signed from my, DH and our DC, which was posted first class so I was expecting it to get to my mum at some point on Thursday.

On Thursday (yesterday) I tried to call her in the morning to say happy birthday but we kept missing each other's calls (work) so ended up texting her happy birthday. This morning I texted her asking if she'd received our card, she said no and also said she was extremely disappointed that my DH didn't text her yesterday to say happy birthday??!!!!? And then did the "oh never mind" guilt trip. I said the card was signed from all of us and was hoping it would have been there by now and no idea why he'd need to send a text to his MIL when he already sent a card? Or AIBU and he should have text her? They're not particularly close if that helps.

I text my mums new husband on his birthday but have never sent him a card.

Your mum is being unreasonable.

I think your text should have sufficed tbh. Why did she need one from your DH separately?

Your mum is being so unreasonable. Why would your DH want to text her if you already have?

She is being unreasonable, “extremely disappointed” her son in law didn’t send a text- yeah right

She sounds hard work.

Your mum is being ridiculous to be honest. You're doing the card/texting on behalf of your family. Do your mum and dad text your husband separately on his birthday? (Huge apologies if your dad is no longer around).

I’m really surprised by all these answers. I agree your mum is being a little bit unreasonable, but it would have taken 10 seconds for your DH to text her. Even if he didn’t need to, was it really too much effort? Unless there’s a huge backstory about why they aren’t close...

Your mum needs to grow up.

She’s being daft. Does she text him or call for his? I couldn’t be doing with this level of buffoonery.

@Myneighboursnorlax

I’m really surprised by all these answers. I agree your mum is being a little bit unreasonable, but it would have taken 10 seconds for your DH to text her. Even if he didn’t need to, was it really too much effort? Unless there’s a huge backstory about why they aren’t close...

But why would he? Mine wouldn't and I wouldn't text his dad. Seems superfluous.

Yes, she's really hard work and growing up with her as my mum was very difficult. World revolves around her and I could never please her etc.

You’re both unreasonable,
You by mailing her birthday card so late. Tuesday for a birthday on Thursday? Should have sent it a week before. No one minds a card a few days early, but they always mind a late card.

Your mum by demanding a text from a SIL is also unreasonable.

You were shoddy only getting round to dieting and sending a card on Tuesday - there was every chance it wouldn't reach your mum on time for her birthday,

But wrt the text she's being silly.

*sorting, not dieting

@PlanDeRaccordement

You’re both unreasonable, You by mailing her birthday card so late. Tuesday for a birthday on Thursday? Should have sent it a week before. No one minds a card a few days early, but they always mind a late card.

Your mum by demanding a text from a SIL is also unreasonable.

Speak for yourself, I don't mind if a birthday card is late, I'm not so self absorbed to expect others never to have more important things to think about.

OP, you Mum sounds like a petulant child, rather you than me having to put up with such nonsense

@lifesalongsong
I suppose I’m just more considerate of close relatives’ birthdays. Never too busy to care about them.

But why would he? Mine wouldn't and I wouldn't text his dad. Seems superfluous.

@MrsTerryPratchett yeah I can see based on all the other replies too that everyone else feels that way. In my family we always do separate texts (not separate cards, we aren’t that weird) so we’ll both text our parents on their birthdays, and on our birthdays we’ll get a text from all four of our parents individually (but only two cards). I guess it’s just what I’m used to, and because DH and his family are like it too, I’ve just assumed that was the normal way. I genuinely find it quite interesting that most people think it’s weird and unnecessary!

DH wouldn't text my mother to say happy birthday I wouldn't text his (I would send his sister a facebook message most likely)

I don't get a text off my mum for my birthday, he doesn't get one direct off mine (but she will usually text me to say wish him happy birthday from us did the card arrive)

[quote PlanDeRaccordement]@lifesalongsong
I suppose I’m just more considerate of close relatives’ birthdays. Never too busy to care about them.[/quote]
for you

But that's not what I was commenting on, the fact that you are the perfect card sender doesn't have any to do with whether card receivers mind if their card is late

OMG! I can't believe your Mum would expect a text from your partner on her birthday. That is random and over the top. However I also can't believe that you don't send a card to her husband. So maybe you should all send each other cards or cancel the lot and save each other the bother. Or tell your Mum you bought her a bottle of wine but couldn't get it to her so drank it yourself whilst thinking of her. It might not improve relations but at least you would be drunk.

no shes mad-you sent a card from all of you that should ne enough yes it didnt get there on time but u didnt know

Jeez can’t believe your DM is so bothered about birthdays! I expect DH to recognise mine in some way but not anybody else, and I have a close relationship with my family. I think birthdays are important until you are 18. After that it’s just 21, 30, 40, 50 etc. But even then not expected. I would be thrilled with any card even if it was late.

i dont see how she feels your dh should have texted her myself!

We always send a text to each others parents and siblings on their birthdays but if we didn't they wouldn't be offended. Your mum is being over the top about it!

Your mum is being ridiculous.