Is DH U or is my mother?

[makingbacon]

It was my mums birthday yesterday. On Tuesday I ordered a card online, signed from my, DH and our DC, which was posted first class so I was expecting it to get to my mum at some point on Thursday.

On Thursday (yesterday) I tried to call her in the morning to say happy birthday but we kept missing each other's calls (work) so ended up texting her happy birthday. This morning I texted her asking if she'd received our card, she said no and also said she was extremely disappointed that my DH didn't text her yesterday to say happy birthday??!!!!? And then did the "oh never mind" guilt trip. I said the card was signed from all of us and was hoping it would have been there by now and no idea why he'd need to send a text to his MIL when he already sent a card? Or AIBU and he should have text her? They're not particularly close if that helps.

I text my mums new husband on his birthday but have never sent him a card.

I would say your mum is BU. Ideally he would have texted but not something to get upset about IMO.

My DH has never texted my DM on her birthday and I've never texted my MIL (she only uses her mobile when travelling anyway). I just sign the card that my DH buys for her and he does the same for my DM. Our DDs always sign a card for their Granny and Grandma.

Other than that, we call both of them on their birthdays, and buy presents for them.

It wouldn't occur to either of them to expect separate calls or texts from their SIL/DIL.

Your DM sounds like very hard work and childish.

It wouldn't have killed him to text her.

Does she text him on his birthday? What does he do normally?

Every family is different - we usually text - but if you don't YANBU. If you do YABU.

I got an online card for my birthday from a friend. It was a few days late but wasn't her fault. She ordered it in good time. It was around lockdown but the post understandably due to covid ie staff off sick or self isolating plus self distancing rules is a bit later.
I sent a letter abroad which took just over 2 months to get there. It should have taken a week at most