AIBU - Asking for holiday contributions for xmas?

[ThePartyArtist]

Family are asking for Christmas gift ideas for our family of 3. They have said they intend to give adults vouchers and kids toys. They are not big earners and they themselves want very little for xmas - say they have no need for more stuff. Suggestions from them are low cost e.g. a board game, book, chocolate, alcohol.

Normally we'd ask for vouchers for family days out, or restaurants / theatre for the grown ups; however with Covid we really don't know what'll be going ahead, or what we'll feel safe doing (e.g. I would not go to a restaurant at the moment even though it's allowed).

AIBU to ask for money towards a family holiday? Obviously with Covid we don't know what'll be possible in terms of travel restrictions and companies surviving, so rather than vouchers for a specific company this would be a request for money into our account (ring fenced for this purpose)? We could give people a few ideas of what / where we are thinking but at present we couldn't say precisely what holiday it'd be used for. Does this sound ok?

Incase it doesn't, I wondered about putting together a longer list that includes various things they can pick and choose from, e.g. this list could include the holiday money suggestion, and also specific toys for son, or more general suggestions (eg. something from a specific toy website / vouchers for that website).

And one other question when people ask ideas - do you share the same list with everyone who asks, and ask them to let you know which thing they claim (if it's something you couldn't have duplicates of)? Or do you suggest different things to everyone who asks?

£10 - 15 could make a difference to a holiday fund. That could be the entrance ticket to a museum. The problem with Mumsnet is that holiday = £1000 +. My family holidays have probably cost about £300.

I am baffled by the responses on here because I read on the Christmas/birthday threads all the time that people would rather have 'experiences' or tickets to a theme park etc for gifts than more 'stuff'. Now here is someone wanting that and everyone is all "oooh no you can't do that it's rude".
Odd.

I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for money - nor giving it as a gift. I don't like gift vouchers either.
My 'family' is my half sister - she grew up with 'lists' for birthday and christmas gift suggestions, which I used to find very strange, but I've learnt over the years that she finds not having a list stressful, and she;s often made some very odd choices on occasions that she's gone off piste without a list .
On the other hand, I love listening out for her, or friends that I buy gifts for, to mention something they'd really like but probably wouldn't buy for themselves and then seeking it out.

I don’t think there’s any issue with money usually but in this case, they aren’t able to spend much anyway so it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it.
It’s better they buy the kids some small game or toy rather than give you £20 or whatever.

@LEELULUMPKIN

Genuine question. All of those who are saying they would never ask for money (and that is of course your choice and perfectly fine), what do you do if you ask someone what they want and they say money?

Do you just ignore it and buy what you think they will like anyway?

I dont ask... if I am close enough to you to buy you a present worth anything then I obviously know you pretty well lol

What?

Sorry, is this a thing now? Asking for specific things and putting together convoluted gift lists as if this were a wedding or something?

You're adults. In my world you're given a box of chocolates or a book or some bath stuff or whatever, obviously it's different for kids.

@bookmum08

Everyone saying that the OP shouldn't ask people who are 'hard up' for money - have they not noticed the OP says these people have ASKED what they want for Xmas. What difference does it make if they spend £30 on a gift, voucher or contribution to the holiday? £30 is £30 (or whatever they spend). The alternative is no gifts at all but I know some families don't enjoy that.

gifts can usually be picked up for a bargain price, just because something has a RRP of £30 does not mean someone spent £30 on it

I dont think I ever bought a gift at its full price, just because you recieved something that can possibly sell for £30 doesnt mean your entitled to ask for the cash value you think its worth

we have an clerance outlet store by our house where you can pick up £50 necklaces reduced to £5 or £20 branded toys for £3 etc... so for a mother and 2 children I could spend £11 for nice items 'worth' £90 but that doesnt mean I just have £90 to give them out of my pocket

How about stuff you need for holiday- suncream, pack of cards, snacks for the plane, water bottle, travel towel etc? Make a few small suggestions then they can either get you everything, or just one thing, depending on their budget.

We have pretty much gone down the no adult presents for adult siblings/cousins in recent years everyone seems relieved!

In our family we have £4 limit on presents and they have to come from a charity shop. We spend whole year searching for stuff and it can make a chore into fun. If the recipient doesn’t like it then it can go back to a charity shop. It’s amazing the stuff you can pick up for all age groups from charity shops, eg especially if somebody collects things like frogs, owls, marmite related things. Charity benefits as well.