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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Diamond ring left to me I dont have

68 replies

Lockdownproblems · 27/08/2020 22:46

So
My.granny was poorly (strokes) for the last 20 years of her life. I was the only grandchild who ever went to see her. Even when I was at uni I rang her once a week even though her stroke meant she cpuldnt talk to me but I chatted on about what I'd been up to. And when I was home I saw her every week until she was moved to a care home..I couldn't drive so couldnt get there as much as I like.. twice a month at most. She wrote me the best letters ever. And sometimes she sent me jewelry..wrapped in tissue paper. She sent me her engagement rings (my grandad brought her 2) and eternity ring and another. All had massive diamonds..one rubies one sapphires and one emeralds. I gave them to my parents to look after. But they gave them to my sister in law (who wont allow me to be part of their life) to put in their safe while my parents house was rebuilt. AIbU to ask for these rings back? My "sister in law" will kick off badly if I do as she thinks she shouldve been given something (!even though she never met my granny and I was given these before Granny died..and we were all left some jewellry)

OP posts:

Needbettername · 27/08/2020 22:48

Maybe ask your parents to get them for you but yes get your rings back.

LesLavandes · 27/08/2020 22:50

They are yours. Ask your parents to return them to you

Igotthemheavyboobs · 27/08/2020 22:51

Get the back OP! Ask your parents to get then for you but make sure they end up back in your possession!

Itsjustabitofbanter · 27/08/2020 22:55

Of course you ask for them back?? Or get your parents to who gave them to her

Itsjustabitofbanter · 27/08/2020 22:56

And as soon as you get them back, get them valued and keep them in your possession

Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches · 27/08/2020 22:59

Get them back as soon as you can. I agree with getting your parents to ask.

AdoraBell · 27/08/2020 23:00

Definitely ask your parents to give them back. Your DHM gave them to you and her wishes should be respected. If necessary say that to your parents.

Potterpotterpotter · 27/08/2020 23:00

They are yours. Why wouldn’t you ask for them back

yahoosername · 27/08/2020 23:00

Get your parents to get them. Obviously

julybaby32 · 27/08/2020 23:07

You gave them into your parents safe-keeping, so your parents should be asking for them back for you, I think.

Original poster

Lockdownproblems · 27/08/2020 23:16

Thank you. I worry because I've made a fair few mistakes and get judged on those. Somewhere I have Grannies list of what she wanted me to have.

OP posts:

SuitedandBooted · 27/08/2020 23:16

Your parents should get them. Your grandmother gave them to you, her granddaughter. Your SIL had no connection with her whatsoever - it would be very disrespectful to allow your GM's wishes to be ignored.

CasuallyMasculine · 27/08/2020 23:17

I’m really surprised you need to ask.

canyoucallbacklater · 27/08/2020 23:22

Get them back ASAP, get your own safe so you never need to ask your parents to look after anything.

Disrespectful to your Grandmother not to adhere to her wishes (on their behalf - not yours!)

Elieza · 27/08/2020 23:34

Defo ask your parents to ask for them back.

Get them valued to make sure you know their worth and how much to insure them for.

Original poster

Lockdownproblems · 27/08/2020 23:47

I dont care about the value..its nice (as I live in a council.house after 2 years in hostels and temporary accommodation.. but my parents paid for my brothers to build.their houses (they both have 3 bed houses with 3 bathrooms and pay less mortgage than I do in rent for my.shitty council house) but I'd never sell them unless 3 reasons she told me.it.was ok. #1 to have made into an engagement ring I'd like #2 for a holiday in Venice and Rome Nd #3 for a REALLY nice bathroom.

OP posts:

Shizzlestix · 27/08/2020 23:52

Get your rings back. Your parents should get them for you. Don’t take no for an answer!

Mynameisrow · 27/08/2020 23:53

Oh OP I really hope you get your rings back. Your last post made me feel so sad and like your parents may not fight for them back if they don’t give them up willingly.

Totickleamockingbird · 27/08/2020 23:57

This is an awful thing to do to one of your own children. I don’t know how parents do this. They built houses for your brothers. You should not have put the rings in their custody.
Get them back via your parents.

Lockdownproblems · 28/08/2020 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Lockdownproblems · 28/08/2020 00:09

I didnt get any choice about giving therings.tomy parents. They saw them and took them. I will askfor.themback but suspect it will mean my brother wife is worse (I wasnt allowed to their wedding and I saw my neice today..she asked my daughter who I was...) I'm worried she thinks they are hers..and my parents will be too scared to argue as she will stop them seeing her kids if they do..shes already done it once when they stuck up for me

OP posts:

Totickleamockingbird · 28/08/2020 00:17

That sounds insane OP. I feel for you. I don’t think you will get them without asking.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 28/08/2020 00:22

Ask your parents to get them back for you. Ask them to do it swiftly. Don’t delay. These are your rings. They have effectively been stolen from you. Please don’t give up until you get them. And keep
Posting on here if your nerve fails you and people will give you confidence.

If all else fails you could get a solicitor to write your sil a letter demanding them back. But hopefully it won’t come to that. Though I’d not be above telling your parents that is what you intend to do. That might spur them on a bit.

Best of luck.

simitra · 28/08/2020 00:35

I understand your situation as I had a great relationship with my grandmother. When she died in the 1970s she left her house to be sold and the proceeds divided between her surviving children (my mother and two aunts). However she left the contents of the house (including her jewellery) to me. I had to organize a house clearance pretty quickly. But having some experience in the antiques trade I realised that some of the furniture was pretty valuable and got someone in from Christies to assess it. The result was that the larger pieces went for a great deal more than I had imagined. The smaller items were stored in a lockup and that was how I began in the antiques trade back in the late 1970s.

My mother and aunts were shocked at how much it worked out at and tried to talk me into giving them a share. I said "No" because they had the proceeds of the house sale and that was what my grandmother wished. My relatives had considered my grandma's furniture a load of old tat because they knew nothing about antiques. I kept a number of small pieces to remember her by and still have them.

In your position I would make strenuous efforts to regain the jewellery even if it causes a family rift. If your relatives are reluctant to give it back see a solicitor and have them write an appropriate letter.

PubicMenace · 28/08/2020 00:38

Fucking hell OP I could cry for you.

'Hi Mum, I really want the rings that granny gave me back. I'm worried sil will just keep them now. Thanks.'

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