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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Diamond ring left to me I dont have

68 replies

Lockdownproblems · 27/08/2020 22:46

So
My.granny was poorly (strokes) for the last 20 years of her life. I was the only grandchild who ever went to see her. Even when I was at uni I rang her once a week even though her stroke meant she cpuldnt talk to me but I chatted on about what I'd been up to. And when I was home I saw her every week until she was moved to a care home..I couldn't drive so couldnt get there as much as I like.. twice a month at most. She wrote me the best letters ever. And sometimes she sent me jewelry..wrapped in tissue paper. She sent me her engagement rings (my grandad brought her 2) and eternity ring and another. All had massive diamonds..one rubies one sapphires and one emeralds. I gave them to my parents to look after. But they gave them to my sister in law (who wont allow me to be part of their life) to put in their safe while my parents house was rebuilt. AIbU to ask for these rings back? My "sister in law" will kick off badly if I do as she thinks she shouldve been given something (!even though she never met my granny and I was given these before Granny died..and we were all left some jewellry)

OP posts:
bookmum08 · 28/08/2020 00:43

Could you talk to your brother directly rather than your sister in law?
Good luck. I hope you get them.

timeisnotaline · 28/08/2020 00:46

Oh dear op. Ask your parents and say I hope you can do it, I know if I ask she will kick off and I’ll need to get a lawyer involved as I have the list from grandma, but that would be upsetting.
I’m really worried your parents don’t have your back. I wish you could say to them it’s the least you could bloody well do for me, it’s not like youve built me a house like you have for my brothers, how dare you hand my inheritance from Grandma to that bitch.

DopamineHits · 28/08/2020 00:46

I'm worried she thinks they are hers..and my parents will be too scared to argue as she will stop them seeing her kids if they do

Call your parents tomorrow morning and ask them to collect the rings for you as soon as possible. Dig out your proof that they are for you. If you don't get them back within a reasonable time, see a solicitor. Sometimes a solicitor's letter is all it takes to get things resolved.

TinkerPony · 28/08/2020 00:48

Hope you get your granny rings back.
I worry for you that they are gone Sad
Was this recent or ages ago.
Fingers and toes crossed

Italiangreyhound · 28/08/2020 00:54

Yes, get them back.

kierawhogives · 28/08/2020 00:55

Legally, they are YOURS. Morally, they are YOURS.

YOURS! Get them back ASAP.

IamPickleRick · 28/08/2020 01:01

She definitely should not have these in her possession.

With my nanny’s rings they let me pick first because I’m the eldest girl. After that my cousins picked from what was left.

IamPickleRick · 28/08/2020 01:02

And same as you, it wasn’t about value. It was about remembering. I picked the one I remember her wearing the most. They should be with you.

cuparfull · 28/08/2020 01:02

You handed them to your parents for safekeeping, so your parents have the responsibility to give them back to you.
Tell them you want them back asap.

They were given to you by the owner, nobody else has any right to them.

cuparfull · 28/08/2020 01:06

Show your parents this thread, print it, and hand it to them so they are under no illusion.
A solicitors letter would do the trick with your SIL.

Stolen321 · 28/08/2020 01:08

‘Hi Dm/Df, I knew you took my rings for safe keeping, and I want them back. I’m back at (weekend/next week/next month) as I know you put them in the safe for me. Many thanks OP.

Failing that
‘Hi DB, I’ve heard you’ve got my rings. Can you either drop them over to me if you’re in the area or I’ll be back at mums/dads next week if you can drop them over there before then.’

You don’t need to make it over personal. They’re YOURS. How would you react if there was something you was keeping at your parents and they took it I.e. your kettle/tv/bed frame/million quid. You don’t need to make excuses why they’re yours as they’re yours.

Time40 · 28/08/2020 01:09

You handed them to your parents for safekeeping

She didn't, though - they just saw them and took them.

I don't like the sound of your parents, OP, sad to say. You do everything it takes to get those rings back. They are YOURS and they've been stolen from you.

Jux · 28/08/2020 02:00

They have been stolen. Just because it was your parents robbing you doesn't mean it wasn't stealing. They had no right to hand them to your sil either.

If they're difficult about returning your property to you, you should seriously consider involving the police. I know that would be a really hard step to take, but do consider it.

I'm not sure I like your parents. Sometimes just because it's family doing it to you doesn't make it right or acceptable.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 28/08/2020 04:06

Insist that your parents give you YOUR rings back.
If they or your SIL get arsey about it, go no contact.
If your parents refuse, report their theft to the police.

Porridgeoat · 28/08/2020 04:25

Text your parents and your brother. Explain you really miss granny and that you feel very sentimental about her rings, particularly holding dear the way they were posted to you. Thank them for keeping the rings safe and say it was very kind of them. However you’d like them back with you next week as you miss granny and it’s one way of having her close

Mummyoflittledragon · 28/08/2020 06:09

Your parents paid for both your brother’s houses. Time for them to pay for a solicitors letter on your behalf. They don’t get to weasel out of it in case your sil threatens withholding the gcs. It sounds like you’re the family scapegoat. Idk what relationship your granny had with your parents. You may find it useful to resort to emotive topics and talk about your granny’s integrity and how disgusted she would be about the situation et.

Butchyrestingface · 28/08/2020 06:20

I didnt get any choice about giving the rings.to my parents. They saw them and took them

You’ve got bigger problems than Lockdown, @Lockdownproblems. Sad

Cuteypye · 28/08/2020 06:34

To be honest op, I don’t think you will get them back, unless it stated in your Granny’s will that you were to have them. A list of things she wanted you to have means nothing, if it wasn’t in her will.

I think your parents were out of order, firstly for taking them and secondly for handing them to your sil! I would tell your parents to get them back now. However, if they don’t, how can you prove that they were yours? I really hope I am wrong, but given how badly you have been treated by your family, I doubt your parents and sil will do the right thing.

Newjobnewstart · 28/08/2020 06:44

Is there a backstory to this? Why did your parents take them? Why wont your sil see you?

Howallergic · 28/08/2020 06:47

That would be quite the kick in the face for the brother and SIL to get a house built for them and to also get the rings your GM wanted you to have.
Weird.

Tlollj · 28/08/2020 06:49

We’re your parents worried you would sell them to buy something unsuitable shall we say?
Obviously a back story here.

Bringonspring · 28/08/2020 06:53

On face value you should have them back but I think there is a back story here.

You’ve made mistakes/ended up in hostels etc.

Also I don’t like the idea you’ll exchange them for a bathroom

Penguinnn · 28/08/2020 07:00

I’d be interested to know the backstory, but yes you should have them back. Be assertive, they are your rings.

OverTheRainbow88 · 28/08/2020 07:02

Gosh, such a tricky situation but you need to get the rings back, they are yours. Your parents had no right to give them to your bro and sil. I would go about it in a non defensive friendly way... say something like you are going to a posh wedding and would like to wear them or something along those lines, the wedding is in 2 weeks so you need them by that date.

Shoxfordian · 28/08/2020 07:05

Go and see your sil and ask for them back, they're yours
Don't let anyone just walk off with your property again