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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm the only one still living a distanced life...

296 replies

ciarachats · 27/08/2020 15:54

I'm still strictly distancing, because, well
that's the rules!
But I know very little people that still are.!!

The thing is, I'm so miserable because of it.

I have a 7 month old baby that my mum hasn't held since March. My mum
works around a lot of people and I've not felt like it's a good Idea for her to hold the baby.

I've barely seen friends because the weather is rubbish for outdoor meet ups!

We can't go for coffee because how do you stay 2m away from someone and drink a coffee in a shop together?!
Same for going for lunch or a drink etc.

It's all starting to drive me crazy and I really miss seeing properly.

How long are we expected to keep this up for!!

Should I just stop this now and get back to normal?!

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 27/08/2020 18:23

Haven't seen my DM since March so you're not the only ones. She's staying in until their is a vaccine or treatment which makes it easier to recover from. With a heart condition and COPD I think she's right, but it's actually none of my business - she has the right to make his choice on her own and she has. I respect her right to decide.

Writerandreader · 27/08/2020 18:23

Op this makes me sad to read. You can meet people and have coffees and lunches and it's really important for your mental health. Your baby and you need company. You can have people in your house too.

The rules absolutely have been relaxed.. I'm not sure why you think you can't meet with people.

Babies and children are more likely to get hit by lightening than become seriously ill with covid. Please go out and see people

Writerandreader · 27/08/2020 18:29

While cases have risen hospital admissions have not. The virus we can now see does not make young healthy people ill. Flu is more of a risk to babies and children.

Your mental health will be damaged if you carry on like this. My children have been happily playing all summer with kida at holiday club.

Anyone not sending a child back to scholl because if covid is making a serious mistake and should read all the advice from paediatricians and doctors across the UK urging parents to send their kids back.

All the evidence now suggests children are not passing it to adults.

Why can't your mum hold your baby? If you are all being careful who would be passing on covid?

Wash your hands and get on with your life.

MakeItRain · 27/08/2020 18:32

I meet with a a small number of friends (one at a time) and we stay 1-2m apart. It's ok. We go for walks, outdoor coffees or sit away from each other in our houses. I meet my mum but again stay apart from her. So I think you could probably meet more people but still stay safe and follow the guidance.

I have friends on SM who seem to believe it's all over and they're posting pics in large groups all together. Lots of my other friends are sticking to the rules however. I think it's not spreading as fast as it did in March, when case numbers were similar, because so many more people than we realise are still following the guidance. But they're probably not posting pics on FB so we're not so aware of them!

DianaT1969 · 27/08/2020 18:32

What part of the UK has had terrible weather this summer? I'm in the South East and it has been fine. Mild weather, hot spells and the odd shower.
OP, just go to a coffee shop with outdoor seating to meet friends. You don't hug or touch, and they don't have to hold your baby.
Meet your mum outside in the park or a cafe.
I don't know why you are isolating so much. You will regret it when the autumn comes and it's dark and cold at 4pm.

Sun2Fl0wer2 · 27/08/2020 18:32

Suggest

Have coffee or meal sitting outside

Schools have returned
People are being encouraged to return to work
Most businesses are open with additional social distancing measures in place, hand gel, face masks etc

This virus could be with us for the next 500+ years

Personally, I would rather be out & about, than be locked in & miserable

I assume some people have already put their child into day care & returned to work

You cannot stay locked down forever

SueEllenMishke · 27/08/2020 18:36

@DianaT1969

What part of the UK has had terrible weather this summer? I'm in the South East and it has been fine. Mild weather, hot spells and the odd shower. OP, just go to a coffee shop with outdoor seating to meet friends. You don't hug or touch, and they don't have to hold your baby. Meet your mum outside in the park or a cafe. I don't know why you are isolating so much. You will regret it when the autumn comes and it's dark and cold at 4pm.
Most of the north ..... it's currently torrential rain here and cold enough for me to have my heating on.

Early on lockdown the weather was quite nice but the last 6-7 weeks have mainly been a washout ( apart from one week of nice, hot weather which brought loads of thunderstorms)

iVampire · 27/08/2020 18:38

The virus we can now see does not make young healthy people ill

However society is not made up only of healthy people

Shielding is paused, so I’ve been making the most of the opportunity to get out and about a bit, but outdoors only (weather largely not rubbish here, which helps)

I really would urge you to make the most of the last of the summer. You don’t have to force yourself to do stuff that you really don’t want to, but there are oodles of ways you can meet people on a Covid-safe way

This might not last - if it’s a bad winter virus season - so make the most of it now

If winter is not as bad as some predictions, it’ll still worth getting out and about a bit now, fingers crossed for a last hurrah of sunshine when the rest of the schools go back (then you can easy yourself back in to it outdoors)

Gingerkittykat · 27/08/2020 18:40

Use the BBC calculator to see how many cases are in your area. Mine was 2 per 100 000 so the chances of me coming in contact with someone who has the virus is extremely low, it said the average is 5 per 100 000 in Scotland but there will be areas where it is higher.

I was shielding so am still cautious, take precautions and would never go to a busy pub or nightclub but we do need to be able to put the risks into perspective.

Let your mum cuddle your baby and go for lunch with your friends!

RichardMarxisinnocent · 27/08/2020 18:44

@PurdyFlower

But the rules are that you CAN go to lunch with one other household. And the distance was relaxed to 1 metre.
Not 1 metre, 1 metre plus so 1 metre as long as there are mitigations like masks, open air, sitting side by side.
Todaywewilldobetter · 27/08/2020 18:45

Have another read of the guidelines. I think you're self imposing some that aren't there.

Walkover3974 · 27/08/2020 18:47

You need to start doing things again. There has been weeks and weeks of beautiful weather where you cpulg have sat outside cafes with family /friends or take walks round parks etc with family/friends.
Autumn/Winter is coming and those things won't be as possible.
I stayed in from March until July and followed every rule. I was starting to mad. My mental health was hugely affected. My kids were suffering too.
I bit the bullet and allowed them to start seeing their friends which they loved! I started to see more of friends and family. We've been to North Wales for 2 breaks at our own caravan. Was wonderful.

During lockdown my first neice was born and my best friend had her first baby. A couple of weeks ago my sister in law allowed myself and the children to go into her home and spend time with the baby. I was able to her hold her!! It was the most magical feeling ever!
Next week I am seeing my best friend and her baby. Again she has told me I will be able to hold the baby, and that baby has just been through 2 open heart surgeries!! The consultants have told them that all babies are low risk and its not a problem at all. I cannot wait!
Lockdown has made me appreciate things so much more.
Its your decision of course but your mum must be absolutely desperate to see the baby and cuddle her grand. I would insist on hand washing and no kissing but your family members are missing out on a very special time

Fatted · 27/08/2020 18:49

My family and I stopped distancing a long time ago. After DH had to go out and work with the public without PPE back in April. None of us have caught even so much as a cold, let alone died a miserable death of covid.

CouldBeOuting · 27/08/2020 18:56

I haven’t seen anyone but DH, DS and the people I work with (school, open throughout but not during August). I haven’t even seen our DD as she doesn’t live at home. I’ve been to shops but no pubs, restaurants etc. as I don’t feel they are safe.

All my “socialising” has been on zoom and Skype.

Figgygal · 27/08/2020 19:00

I’m still following the guidelines
But also eating out, meeting friends outdoors, had friends round (one family at a time), been swimming with family (hire an outdoor Pool), been to friends and in-laws

Most people are being very sensible and mindful of others in my experience

KitKatastrophe · 27/08/2020 19:02

we have a daily infection rate today of 1522, that’s about half what it was in March when we went into lockdown

Do you seriously think there were 3000 cases per day in March?

Recall that people were only tested if they were bad enough to be hospitalised, which was a very small number of the actual cases as we define them now. I am sure I read somewhere that the ONS were estimating something like 60,000 new infections per day in March, of which only a tiny percentage were tested.

ciarachats · 27/08/2020 19:05

@Gingerkittykat

Use the BBC calculator to see how many cases are in your area. Mine was 2 per 100 000 so the chances of me coming in contact with someone who has the virus is extremely low, it said the average is 5 per 100 000 in Scotland but there will be areas where it is higher.

I was shielding so am still cautious, take precautions and would never go to a busy pub or nightclub but we do need to be able to put the risks into perspective.

Let your mum cuddle your baby and go for lunch with your friends!

@Gingerkittykat my area is 16 per 100,000.
OP posts:
ciarachats · 27/08/2020 19:07

@Sun2Fl0wer2

Suggest

Have coffee or meal sitting outside

Schools have returned
People are being encouraged to return to work
Most businesses are open with additional social distancing measures in place, hand gel, face masks etc

This virus could be with us for the next 500+ years

Personally, I would rather be out & about, than be locked in & miserable

I assume some people have already put their child into day care & returned to work

You cannot stay locked down forever

@Sun2Fl0wer2 but how can you have a coffee or a meal with a friend and stay 2m apart. Is that possible?
OP posts:
SueEllenMishke · 27/08/2020 19:07

my area is 16 per 100,000.

Which is still a very small number.

aureliacecilia · 27/08/2020 19:08

I'm living like this too. You're not alone but I know it feels like you are.

SueEllenMishke · 27/08/2020 19:10

Plus look at ward data as that gives you a better picture.
My area according to the bbc is 52 per 100,000 ( over the last week) but my ward is actually 6 per 100,000 over the last 28 days.

Polkadotties · 27/08/2020 19:14

OP please live your life. We never know what is round the corner.
The risk of catching Covid is minute

Polnm · 27/08/2020 19:20

@DianaT1969

What part of the UK has had terrible weather this summer? I'm in the South East and it has been fine. Mild weather, hot spells and the odd shower. OP, just go to a coffee shop with outdoor seating to meet friends. You don't hug or touch, and they don't have to hold your baby. Meet your mum outside in the park or a cafe. I don't know why you are isolating so much. You will regret it when the autumn comes and it's dark and cold at 4pm.
Yorkshire other than spring and a quick burst in August
tigger001 · 27/08/2020 19:24

Yes, social distancing should still be being adhered to even with masks.

No you are not the only one living like this, if it's not outdoors we are not seeing anyone. People may look in thinking we are extreme, but I know what I'm comfortable with.

Could you not meet up and go for a walk in the park/ round the green, block or where you live with a friend, baby in pram and rain cover on. There must be things you can do with a friend without being indoors, the weathers not that bad.

I would have someone all over my baby who had been around loads of people.

Hope you find something to do that makes you a little happier.

tigger001 · 27/08/2020 19:25

I would have someone all over my baby who had been around loads of people.

That should be "I wouldn't have someone all over my baby"

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