Repetitive anecdotes/story telling - would it get on your nerves?

[GilbertMarkham]

I was mulling over a past relationship (as you do sometimes) and thought about how he used to repeatedly tell the same anecdotes/stories ... And wondered if that would irritate you or put you off someone?

Initially I laughed at them/appreciated them, when he'd told them a few times I was polite and may have said "ah yeah I remember you telling me about that before" ...
After about 5/10 plus retellings I started to say "yes, I remember you telling he that a good few times before" etc. I did t show any exasperation or irritation, just emphasised how many times he's told me the story before and got slightly sharp/snappy, saying "Okay!!! Alright!" Etc.

I understand people sometimes like to tell a shared anecdote more than once to reminisce or because they think it's funny etc. But these weren't shared anecdotes and weren't hugely funny.

He used to do this a bit with his friend too (they were shared stories in their case) and he clearly enjoyed it, though I noticed his friends wife had limited tolerance, didn't involved and on occasion tried to wrap it up if they needed to go etc.

Although he did do things like go for dinner, go for a drive, or things I suggested like cinema or stand up comedy .. at times I wondered if his ideal evening would be us in his sitting room with no entertainment, and him telling his stories and anecdotes .. with me paying apt attention and being amused, even though I'd heard them numerous times before.

Aibu to have found this exasperating and a turn off? It's not the reason the relationship ended but, given it did it's something I'm glad I'm not listening to.

It's more a source of humour when my husband does this. There's a place we drive past perhaps two or three times a year, and whenever we drove past it he'd tell the same story about when he worked in one of the buildings there. After the third time or so, I started telling the story for him so now we both chorus 'I used to work there ...' when we drive past it.

My FiL does this constantly, to the point where we wonder if it's dementia although he's been tested and was told in good health.
Sometimes he will repeat an anecdote two or three times in the same evening. Sometimes within minutes of each other if he thinks he wasn't heard / appreciated enough the first time.
I honestly don't know how my MiL puts up with it. I would have killed him by now.
But yeah, in a partner I would also find it irritating if it happened a lot.

I've been with dh for 20 years and he tells me the same stories over and over again, he's always done it. I take the piss out of him now and we laugh about it.

It's more a source of humour when my husband does this

I suppose that because a shared anecdote/"thing".

These weren't shared anecdotes .. they were mildly funny on the first telling (i have a decent sense of humour, I have cried with laughter at anecdotes before) but after the third, fourth, fifty and onwards telling, I couldn't really find them funny or interesting.

*became

@Z0rr0

Yeah there's perhaps an element of compulsion about it.

I think there's also a level of self indulgence/selfishness.

My dad does this. We shut him down when he starts again.

He sounds a bit thick. It’s as if he doesn’t have anything new to say, but wants to hear the sound of his own voice, so plays an old record. It would be a deal-breaker for me.

Agh it drives me mad; it was one of the (many) reasons for ending a long term relationship a while ago.

Glad I'm not the only one.

It wasn't a reason I ended the relationship but I found it off-putting. A turn off really.

There was one particular evening that really highlighted it for me when we stayed in, sat in his sitting room which had no TV or anything, and he went over these anecdotes (along with his opinions on things that he gave on repeat too) like a stand up (a not particularly funny stand up) and if I looked like I wasn't paying apt attention started tapping me on the arm and thigh while emphasising points.

I know for a fact I do this.

I know it's probably boring as hell.

At times it wasn't even a tap, more of a hand chop.

*I know for a fact I do this.

I know it's probably boring as hell.*

I am guilty of it occasionally, I think.

I think many of us do it sometimes, I suppose it's the extent that's the issue.

Especially if the other person wasn't involved/a party to the original incident that the anecdote is based on.

He sounds a bit thick. It’s as if he doesn’t have anything new to say, but wants to hear the sound of his own voice, so plays an old record. It would be a deal-breaker for me.

I suspect you're right.

It's a broken deal anyway - an ex, but I was mulling over what the relationship was like.

Dh does this. I mean you'd think after 15 years together he would know that he'd told me all these stories, but nope.
My mum also does it, but she tells it avidly like it's breaking news, never heard before.

We shut him down when he starts again.

It would've been quite hard to shut him down. I was too polite and tolerant initially. Then I tried to and perhaps I should've just used distraction .. instead I said (as above) " yeah I remember you telling me that a good few times before" and he got offended/snarky.

Dh does this. I mean you'd think after 15 years together he would know that he'd told me all these stories, but nope.

It does seem to be common. I dated an older man when I was a twenty something who did it too, not so much with anecdotes but with opinions/theories. The relationship didn't last long enough for it to get to me like this one.

I think many of us are prone to it, but the regularity and time between the anecdotes is a factor.

My mum also does it, but she tells it avidly like it's breaking news, never heard before.

Sorry that last bit was quoted from Edward Cullen's post, my mum doesn't do this.

My mum also does it, but she tells it avidly like it's breaking news, never heard before.

There especially annoying . And makes you wonder if they're wholly sane.

I would find it annoying, but i find loads of men annoying, especially the type who just use a conversation as an excuse to hear their own voice and make their own presence felt, they never listen properly, you can see them glazing over when anyone else says anything, they just use the time to prepare their next boring anecdote. pointless.

I do wonder about my mums sanity!

My DH does this and also goes into sooooo much more detail than is necessary. I can't be bothered with causing an argument so I just zone out and daydream until he stops talking. I don't think he's noticed yet, as he's always so caught up in the storytelling

My FiL has very poor social skills. He's probably on the spectrum. He can't make small talk and turns every conversation - every single one - round to his own experience and stories which are all from about 50+ years ago.
We'll be trying to hear about my nephews experiences of school and he'll be talking about when he was at school 65 years ago. Or we'll be talking about work frustrations and he'll tell stories about his (very different) work which he retired from more than ten years ago.
He's grounded in the past. He won't talk about anything which doesn't interest him - sport for instance, which doesn't interest us either but everyone can chip in a bit if it's something your conversation companion is passionate about. No, he'll have to turn it back to his own interests which no one else can contribute to. He's classic narcissist personality and if we ignore him and talk over him as we continue our own conversations he gets in a huff.
And we've heard them all many many times but he's surprised if we quote them back at him.

My MIL does this, I’ve heard the same stories countless times! The worst is probably the one where she got mumps during her second ever period. 😂

We've been together for over 50 years so DH does tend to repeat stuff as do I.
However we smile and (usually) silently acknowledge our little repetitions which have slightly increased since lockdown.
Sometimes though I've been known to shout utter 'Shut up you boring bastard'.In the nicest possible way.