Repetitive anecdotes/story telling - would it get on your nerves?

[GilbertMarkham]

I was mulling over a past relationship (as you do sometimes) and thought about how he used to repeatedly tell the same anecdotes/stories ... And wondered if that would irritate you or put you off someone?

Initially I laughed at them/appreciated them, when he'd told them a few times I was polite and may have said "ah yeah I remember you telling me about that before" ...
After about 5/10 plus retellings I started to say "yes, I remember you telling he that a good few times before" etc. I did t show any exasperation or irritation, just emphasised how many times he's told me the story before and got slightly sharp/snappy, saying "Okay!!! Alright!" Etc.

I understand people sometimes like to tell a shared anecdote more than once to reminisce or because they think it's funny etc. But these weren't shared anecdotes and weren't hugely funny.

He used to do this a bit with his friend too (they were shared stories in their case) and he clearly enjoyed it, though I noticed his friends wife had limited tolerance, didn't involved and on occasion tried to wrap it up if they needed to go etc.

Although he did do things like go for dinner, go for a drive, or things I suggested like cinema or stand up comedy .. at times I wondered if his ideal evening would be us in his sitting room with no entertainment, and him telling his stories and anecdotes .. with me paying apt attention and being amused, even though I'd heard them numerous times before.

Aibu to have found this exasperating and a turn off? It's not the reason the relationship ended but, given it did it's something I'm glad I'm not listening to.

I'd give you the recipe but I can't remember it. . . I'm a past master at zoning recipes out. . .

My lovely dad passed away 5 years ago, he didn’t do this a lot, but when we went on holiday we went to the same area each year, and he’d always point out a particularly location we passed where his favourite film was made and he’d give us the same trivia about it every time. A couple of years ago my mum and I were there and we needed to pull over, it was a really grotty day and I wasn’t 100% sure exactly where we were along the road but we pulled into the next lay-by, which turned out to be directly in front of this location. My mum and I just burst out laughing and I’d have given anything to hear that stupid story one more time.

My late dad used to do this and now my mum seems to have taken to doing it too. It's so tedious...

I'd give you the recipe but I can't remember it. . . grin I'm a past master at zoning recipes out. . .

It's quite alright, I was intrigued thinking it was a cheese with fruit in it but it's like a jammy, jelly thing.

My Mum does this. It's so wearing.
It's not dementia, she's always done it. It's like a tic.

On a previous thread like this one, a MNer described it as 'Tales of the Expected'. So true.

My parents (now elderly) have always done it but what I don’t get is how far back all the stories go. They never reminisce about family holidays or days out and I’m in my 50s now. It’s always way back when they were children themselves (my father remembers the war) or when they started work in the 1950s or when they were ‘courting’ over 60 years ago.

I think an element of repetition is inevitable in a close relationship: you're bound to bring things up because you can't remember if you''ve told the story before.

Also there's a difference between forgetting someone's heard the story, apologising and changing the subject and just ploughing on regardless.

My dad sounds a bit like Z0rr0s FIL: it will be "did I ever tell you about the time..." stories. And many of them I have literally heard dozens of times. And if you point this out he will say you're rude.

I do think its mainly a male thing tbh: woman are much better at reading a room and picking up signs that people are bored or inconvenienced. Certain sorts of men (the type mentioned here) really aren't interested in whether you're bored or inconvenienced, its all about them and their opinions and stories. Everyone else is just a vessel.

Yeah, I mean he might just be a boring bastard and your incompatible. Because love makes it a quirk, and without love it's a flaw