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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what you love about having a son

227 replies

BoyOhBoyOhBoi · 27/08/2020 09:36

So I recently found out we are expecting a baby boy and we are so excited!

My family is basically all girls, all baby cousins growing up were girls, all nieces etc... Are girls so I've never really been around or have much experience with baby boys!

I think because of my family I always had it in my head that I'd end up with a daughter but now I'm having a son (which is totally fine!).

Just wondering if some of you can share with me your experiences with having a baby boy and what you love about it? Smile (and maybe even if there is anything you think I need to be extra prepared for!).

OP posts:
Rosebel · 27/08/2020 14:54

M son is only baby but I've been told boys are very affectionate and don't do the dramas like girls do.
Tbf my daughter's are pretty affectionate too but I'm looking forward to less drama as he gets older
Oh and has been said watch out for wee in the face.

Dominicgoings · 27/08/2020 14:56

‘My son being loving and affectionate is fact. I am not stereotyping by saying that’

The damaging stereotypes are the ones applied to bitchy/hormonal/tantrum ridden/‘drama queens’ which are widely prevalent throughout this thread and countless others like it.
HTH.

SpeedofaSloth · 27/08/2020 14:58

DS is the love of my life, but then so is DD so I might not be very helpful here.
He loves his mum, bless him Smile

GetUpAgain · 27/08/2020 15:17

I have teens, one of each. Our sexist society has different impacts on each but there is no actual difference between having a boy or a girl, just that they end up facing different things.

My son is taller than me now and pats me fondly on the head which I love. DD will probably overtake me soon and do the same thing.

Enjoy your baby OP, they are so lovely 😍

Vivi0 · 27/08/2020 15:29

@Dominicgoings

‘My son being loving and affectionate is fact. I am not stereotyping by saying that’

The damaging stereotypes are the ones applied to bitchy/hormonal/tantrum ridden/‘drama queens’ which are widely prevalent throughout this thread and countless others like it.
HTH.

Don’t talk about damaging stereotypes when your first comment on this thread was:

My nephew is a spoiled, whiny brat who slaps his mother and calls her a bitch.
My friends teenage son is an absolute bully who terrorises his siblings and treats his young girlfriend like crap.

Can’t have mothers describing their sons as loving, affectionate, cuddly. Better issue a reminder that MEN ARE ABUSERS. And even better, give some examples of them starting off young.

I don’t know how young or old your nephew is, but I would wonder why he is behaving in that way and what is being done to address the behaviour. Same for your friend’s son.

Original poster
BoyOhBoyOhBoi · 27/08/2020 15:41

Yes, seems some people think you're only allowed to share negative experiences of boys otherwise it's unfair toward girls Confused

Again, I'm not asking for stereotypes, I'm asking people's personal experiences of having boys/sons. Just looking for a bit of positivity and to share some nice comments with other mums of boys, nothing more, nothing sinister. Nothing against girls for goodness sake.

Something tells me posters wouldn't have a problem if I'd asked what people love about having daughters.

OP posts:
Time2change2 · 27/08/2020 15:41

I disagree entirely @Sanjii I have both boys and girls and having a boy is a completely Different experience to having a girl once the baby stage has finished.
Sons are wonderful as they tend (in general) to be more affectionate than girls. Most are also behind girls in maturity and developments. Many boys are simpler in their thinking in terms of holding grudges, and friendships in general are easier and simpler (girls are a bloody nightmare from y5 onwards imo. Both are brilliant in their different ways

GlottalStrop · 27/08/2020 15:55

So so nice to see a positive thread about having sons.

There seems to be a certain bias for baby girls generally on MN.

My DS is very close to me even at 15, he's not a chatterbox about his feelings but I know the important stuff; he's kind, intelligent imaginative and values his female friendships just as much as his male ones. He makes me proud everyday.

GlottalStrop · 27/08/2020 15:56

I also have a DD who also makes me proud, but this thread is for sons.

corythatwas · 27/08/2020 15:58

my experience is we tend to interpret actions differently dependent on whether they are girls or boys

if a little girl pushes her little friend over it is seen as typical of how nasty girls are to each other "and just you wait for the teen years, they are sooo bitchy"; if a little boy does the same thing it's a sign of how delightfully straightforward boys are, not like those manipulative little madams

corythatwas · 27/08/2020 15:58

Having said that, I did find ds utterly delightful.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/08/2020 15:58

@BoyOhBoyOhBoi

Yes, seems some people think you're only allowed to share negative experiences of boys otherwise it's unfair toward girls Confused

Again, I'm not asking for stereotypes, I'm asking people's personal experiences of having boys/sons. Just looking for a bit of positivity and to share some nice comments with other mums of boys, nothing more, nothing sinister. Nothing against girls for goodness sake.

Something tells me posters wouldn't have a problem if I'd asked what people love about having daughters.

That wasn't my intention when I posted, I was just talking about the posts that were comparing boys and girls and saying that girls were dramatic and bitchy and you would have the same problem if you asked about having a daughter, that's the issue, you would have people again saying girls are bitchy and dramatic
GlottalStrop · 27/08/2020 15:58

Not in my house.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/08/2020 15:59

@corythatwas

my experience is we tend to interpret actions differently dependent on whether they are girls or boys

if a little girl pushes her little friend over it is seen as typical of how nasty girls are to each other "and just you wait for the teen years, they are sooo bitchy"; if a little boy does the same thing it's a sign of how delightfully straightforward boys are, not like those manipulative little madams

Yeah exactly
GlottalStrop · 27/08/2020 16:00

That was for Cory.

corythatwas · 27/08/2020 16:00

Don't know if there is a pro-girl bias on MN but in RL I only ever came across a pro-boy bias.

MummytoArthur · 27/08/2020 16:00

I have two sons - one is 20 years old and one is 6 weeks old. My 20 year old is absolutely amazing, I have had a lovely life with him, no drama, no problems, he was perfect. Hoping my newest addition follows suit Smile

Vivi0 · 27/08/2020 16:02

@corythatwas

my experience is we tend to interpret actions differently dependent on whether they are girls or boys

if a little girl pushes her little friend over it is seen as typical of how nasty girls are to each other "and just you wait for the teen years, they are sooo bitchy"; if a little boy does the same thing it's a sign of how delightfully straightforward boys are, not like those manipulative little madams

No. My son pushing anyone over is not okay.
aToadOnTheWhole · 27/08/2020 16:07

I can only tell you about my boy but he's awesome. Absolutely fiercely, independently, determined with things. He could argue, discuss and debate his way round an empty room. Creative but in a mechanically minded, logical way, he out thinks me. Iron willed. Kind. Loving. Will be the first to ask "do you need a cuddle?" "Can I have a cuddle?". Wants to understand how things work and why. Likes to dance and dress up. loves glitter, sequins and bow ties. Will engage anyone in a game or a conversation once he's worked out what's what.

He makes me laugh from my boots and proud to my core, he is my pride and joy. Just like your boy will be for you. As it would be if he was a girl.

Definitely yes to the "will you STOP messing with your willy please?!" Grin

Part of his friendship group is two girls who are equally as determined and fearless, very robust and absolutely hilarious. Kids are kids for the most part, you love them because they are yours.

GlottalStrop · 27/08/2020 16:10

Excellent post aToad

crumpet · 27/08/2020 16:14

I have one of each and it has genuinely never occurred to me to take the time to consider what I love about having a boy vs a girl and vice versa.

They both are fabulous/drive me up the wall in equal measure.

Original poster
BoyOhBoyOhBoi · 27/08/2020 16:15

I do get what you're saying @AryaStarkWolf.

Just to clarify, I just want to hear people's personal experiences with their sons. I'm just excited and like hearing about them.

I'm not interested in anyone comparing boys to girls negatively. Just what posters personally love about their sons. That's all I'm after and was my only intention with the thread.

OP posts:
phoenixrosehere · 27/08/2020 16:18

I can absolutely relate. I come from two matriarchal families, most of the cousins my age were girls and the boys were either much older or younger than me so when I found out I was having a boy, I was happy, but scared and it didn’t help that my experience with boys wasn’t great growing up for most of my life, however there were always a handful of boys that were decent and good friends so told myself I’d raise one like that because we need more of them.

I didn’t know any mums of boys (who didn’t go on about how much better they were than girls) that I felt comfortable asking more information about raising them. My sister and I weren’t drama queens or a massive struggle, didn’t have ”boy” issues with us as teenagers so hearing that as a reason why I should be happy that I was having a boy or only have boys was off-putting.

I have two boys and I can definitely agree that they are energetic, almost fearless (except for the vacuum cleaner with my youngest), active, a bit destructive (unintentionally), emotional and very cuddly and affectionate, sometimes a bit clingy. However, I wouldn’t say boys are easier, it really depends on personality of the parents and the children.

I will admit though it does feel lonely sometimes being the only female in the house and everything is balls, trucks, trains, climbing and jumping on and off of things but they’re still young (5, and almost 3) so hoping they’ll expand past this soon and I can get one of them interested in other things. The youngest is liking art so fingers crossed.. 🙂

AryaStarkWolf · 27/08/2020 16:19

@BoyOhBoyOhBoi

I do get what you're saying *@AryaStarkWolf*.

Just to clarify, I just want to hear people's personal experiences with their sons. I'm just excited and like hearing about them.

I'm not interested in anyone comparing boys to girls negatively. Just what posters personally love about their sons. That's all I'm after and was my only intention with the thread.

Well my son is a sweetheart - affectionate, kind, empathetic but also with a fierce mind of his own
ScrewballScramble · 27/08/2020 16:21

He’s just so incredibly kind and loving and thoughtful. He melts my heart.