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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do you stop your life being ruined by a lottery win??

374 replies

Foliageeverywhere122 · 25/08/2020 19:07

Inspired by the euromillions thread!

Ever the optimist, I started thinking about how exciting it would be if I won...and then started thinking about all those news articles you see in the daily fail about people who claim their lives were ruined by it.

So how do you actually enjoy a lottery win? Has anyone won (or inherited) a large sum of money and has advice? :D

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 25/08/2020 19:23

I think I’ve heard somewhere that if you don’t go public you don’t get access to as much financial advice etc from Camelot. I don’t know if that’s true but if it is I would still not go public because I don’t respond well to blackmail. I would pay for my own financial advice though 😂

I think if the winner was 16 it’s reasonable to tell your parents!

I might tell my very close family/friends that we had had a small win - enough to broadly explain the change of house for example. I would make out that we still had a mortgage etc though.

I don’t think they would expect handouts and I wouldn’t be forthcoming with them (perhaps I’m just tight!) unless I thought they were in genuine need.

LouiseTrees · 25/08/2020 19:24

Tell people you won less than you did. Enough to explain your extra holidays etc but not enough they’d expect a huge huge chunk. Then give them a couple of hundred pounds each to look generous given the fake size of win you said.

Foundation · 25/08/2020 19:24

Get good financial and legal advice. Not from a relative or friend - a proper wealth manager.

The80sweregreat · 25/08/2020 19:24

The couple that won a huge amount split up and he ended up with a younger woman. It doesn't always bring happiness!

peachgreen · 25/08/2020 19:24

There was an amazing Reddit thread about this a few years ago: www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vo34/whats_the_happiest_5word_sentence_you_could_hear/chb38xf/

Monstermissy36 · 25/08/2020 19:26

You do what the lady I'm meet the braithwaites did.... keep it secret and set up a charity to help others! Well I think it went well for a few episodes before it all went tits up at least 😂

TheFlis12345 · 25/08/2020 19:26

A friend of mine won in our 20’s, about £4m I believe. They were from a comfortable family anyway so told people it was an inheritance as people are less likely to expect you to share the bounty with that. He was actually surprisingly sensible, used it to buy a business and made that a success. His cars and houses in the early day were more expensive than you would expect for someone his age but nothing too crazy. Now people just assume his business is bringing in the big bucks. A lot of people we knew back and today then have no idea he ever even won it.

TrickorTreacle · 25/08/2020 19:27

We live in an Orwellian state, and treat the lottery like the one in the 1984 non-fiction novel. You can get 3 or 4 numbers but there are no jackpot winners. The 'winners' that you see in the press are staged. Even if you time travelled ahead to get the next set of numbers, you go back and play out those numbers and the numbers will be different.

The80sweregreat · 25/08/2020 19:27

Meet the braithwaites was a great drama!
I would keep it secret, but it is hard to do.

The80sweregreat · 25/08/2020 19:30

I've heard the conspiracy before that the really big winners are staged and it's all ' in house' with the lottery people to keep us spending our money on tickets!

Foundation · 25/08/2020 19:35

@AppleKatie

I think I’ve heard somewhere that if you don’t go public you don’t get access to as much financial advice etc from Camelot. I don’t know if that’s true but if it is I would still not go public because I don’t respond well to blackmail. I would pay for my own financial advice though 😂

I think if the winner was 16 it’s reasonable to tell your parents!

I might tell my very close family/friends that we had had a small win - enough to broadly explain the change of house for example. I would make out that we still had a mortgage etc though.

I don’t think they would expect handouts and I wouldn’t be forthcoming with them (perhaps I’m just tight!) unless I thought they were in genuine need.

Camelot tell winners that if they don’t go public and cooperate with that stupid champagne photo shoot, they will be hunted down and papped, which will be worse for them. The argument goes that it is better to give the media what they want and then they will leave you alone. Personally I think I would take my chances, remain anonymous, get a very discreet financial adviser (the good ones are used to being discreet) and refrain from buying any yachts.
Terrace58 · 25/08/2020 19:37

I’ve never really understood why people can’t handle it. Maybe it’s because long term financial planning is something that has been taught to me since birth. I would interview several financial planners and set an annual budget with the rest of the money held separately. If it was large enough, I would set up trust funds for family members that would issue payments to them under certain circumstances, like upon reaching retirement age or upon entering university. I would probably spend a decent chunk of money on the house of my dreams because I’m a homebody and that is where it would be best spent, but the house would have to be constrained not just on what I could afford to pay for it, but in being able to live in it on whatever allowance I was setting up for myself.

I wouldn’t work because I would want to be a full time artist, so I wouldn’t be able to keep it a complete secret.

CaveMum · 25/08/2020 19:39

My understanding is that every high street bank has a specific department to deal with very, very wealthy clients, so even if you decline the publicity (and get hung out to dry by Camelot) you can still access financial advice fairly easily.

Personally I’d never go with the publicity, can’t think of anything worse than doing that staged photo op with the giant cardboard cheque and popping champagne bottles!

But yes, discretion in how you spend the money and no rocking up to the school run in a limo whilst wearing a tiara 😂

Chicchicchicchiclana · 25/08/2020 19:41

Give most of it away. Keep enough to upgrade your house and car by a level or two if you must, and enough to keep you financially secure until you die. If holidays are important keep enough for some nice ones. Set aside something to give your dc a decent leg up on to the housing ladder but not enough to buy them a flash house outright.

Treat friends and family to some nice meals out, but not forever. You'll be close to them so will be telling them about the win. Ask them if they have any charities that our close to their hearts and make donations to them too.

Honestly, if I won the lottery I doubt I'd keep more than a million of it.

Summersnearlyover · 25/08/2020 19:41

You don’t go public. I know a lottery winner and their family, they spend their lives in hiding, all involved are miserable. Gilded cage is the term that comes to mind.
If you win mega big you lie and say you’ve won 2.4 million which is just enough to buy yourself a house, a couple of decent cars, a few nice holidays and sort your friends and family out. You won’t get kidnap or death threats.

FromTheAllotment · 25/08/2020 19:44

I really cannot see how it ruins people’s lives. I’d be paying off other people’s mortgages left right and centre, leave enough over to mean we only had to work part time, set up trust funds for children & grandchildren... sorted. Maybe it’s my complete lack of interest in fast cars and fancy gold things Grin

Nquartz · 25/08/2020 19:44

I might half-lie and claim I had high risk high reward investments that paid out big against all expectations. Mind you, nobody would expect me to share that money, though they would believe I had such investments.

This is a good idea, I'll do this if (when) we win. I think people are definitely less likely to expect a hand out.

I'd pay for a big family trip somewhere with our parents & siblings, I'd definitely quit my job (and DH his, I'm sure) & invest wisely so even if it's only a couple of mill we wouldn't have to work.

I'm sure I'd be able to find a decent financial advisor, I've noticed a wealth management company on my commute so I'd start there (can you tell I daydream about this to/from work Grin)

Givemlala · 25/08/2020 19:45

Ooooh tricky, I would want to keep it a secret, but also treat my close friends and also family, if I were to say here's money for a house they might be suspicious. Also I don't know if I could keep it to myself! I definitely wouldn't go public though, and would probably leave work but move away a bit to avoid all of the questions. I suppose the issue is that although work is generally drudgery, having something to aim for like buying somewhere keeps the wheels of motivation going, if everything comes easily it starts becoming the norm and you then always want more to feel satisfied; a slippery slope. Maybe donate a lot, put some in savings and out of that pay a wage rather than just having sit there. Such a luxury to be able to never have to worry about money again, but similarly I don't know.

FredaFox · 25/08/2020 19:45

I used to be a travel agent, a regular won the lottery, instead of going away 1/2 time’s a year it became 4. His hotels went up a star but he didn’t go the swanky ones. He stated in the same house but did it up. Upgraded to a new car
Stayed down to earth. He told us but he said he often kept it quiet, said he had family always asking for handouts.
Our office cleaner was his neighbour so we know it was true
He got about a million or so

AveEldon · 25/08/2020 19:45

Don't tell all and sundry

AuntyPasta · 25/08/2020 19:46

’Tell people you won less than you did’

I think that’s the key if you’re planning on staying in the same area and possibly keeping your job. It’s probably best to use that line with your (extended) family too. Families can go to war with each other and become permanently estranged over £10k left in a will - even those who are pretty comfortable financially and really don’t need the cash. Money can bring out the worst in people.

RoadworksAgain · 25/08/2020 19:47

DH sold his business a few years back for a lottery win amount of money (not a EuroMillions amount though).

I can honestly say it hasn't changed our life much. We both still work. Most of the money is invested which gives us an additional income. We moved house and bought a couple of nice cars.

It's really pleasant to not have to think too much about money, but neither of us are big shoppers/spenders. We enjoy eating out and nice wine but don't do that excessively.

If we won the EuroMillions tonight we'd keep it very quiet, and then maybe we would tell a few close family in a few months time that we won 3 million or something.

Pelleas · 25/08/2020 19:47

I live a reclusive life, so only my close family would notice if I came into money. I'd give them as much as they wanted if it was £100k. Then I'd quietly quit my job, buy myself a little cottage in the country and spend my time on my hobbies, making donations to charities from time to time.

Furrydogmum · 25/08/2020 19:47

I'm fairly sure we have a happy marriage.. We're close to our children, parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. With a big win I hope we'd make everyone's lives a little easier and remain blissfully happy till death do us part! If DH showed signs of defection death would indeed part 😉

Iamtooknackeredtorun · 25/08/2020 19:47

I often think this as potentially it changes not only your life but everyone close to you.

I would prob keep it very quiet until there was a prize of something like £350k and I would pretend to have won that. I'd bung them a few grand each and then slowly make changes.

£109m might be hard to cover up tho. My £350k cover story wouldn't last long.