How do you stop your life being ruined by a lottery win??

[Foliageeverywhere122]

Inspired by the euromillions thread!

Ever the optimist, I started thinking about how exciting it would be if I won...and then started thinking about all those news articles you see in the daily fail about people who claim their lives were ruined by it.

So how do you actually enjoy a lottery win? Has anyone won (or inherited) a large sum of money and has advice? :D

I would definitely keep it publicity free!

You would just never know what peoples' motivations were towards you, don't know, I'd feel cynical like that

I would tell just closest friends & family

A friend once said to me if she or any one of us won the lottery, we need to immediately change our Will to state that, if we were murdered, the whole lot would go to charity and no one would be left a penny! A safety net apparently.

What a weird thing to do. A safety net for what? Why would you want to prevent your family from inheritance in the event of your death? Really odd friend you have there.

Oh wait, you mean so the person that murdered you couldn't get any? I see.

I think that if you are older, already found love and had kids, found some good friends etc you are less likely to be taken advantage of and will be more aware of the people using you for your money.

I would give family members money. Put money on trusts for try 3 kids and my niece and nephew for when they turned 25 (not known to them so they have a few year of going to uni/living in a flat share/getting a job etc so they appreciate hard work/living within your means, hopefully then when they go the trust fund they would be less likely to squander it, use it to buy a house/set up a business etc)
Buy a nice house with lots of land.
Money aside for retirement.
Then I would just become a secret benefactor like that tv show where the woman won loads of money and then set up a charity type thing to help people out:l, Id look out for kids who needed an operation abroad funded, or someone who’s husband had been stabbed stopping a mugging leaving her with 3 kids, or a community centre that needed a new roof, dogs home that needed funding etc. It could be done anonymously.
Where I live there are lots of gorgeous country houses, and I know lots of people who live in them, some with pools and tennis courts, others with numerous barns and holiday lets, etc so although us buying similar would raise a couple of eyebrows it wouldn’t be beyond the realms of possibility that we had an inheritance/massive promotion/small lottery win in order to afford it. So I don’t think too many people would be suspicious and only a few people have been to our house (because we rent and it’s small and falling apart and desperately needs a new kitchen/bathroom etc but landlord isn’t the type to replace something unless it’s literally disintegrated/blown up)

I'd keep it secret.

My DH is the son of a multi millionaire and within our lifetime we will be millionaires too. I didn't know his family's wealth until we'd been together for several years. My DD asked me yesterday if I know any millionaires--I lied and said no. She has no idea her grandad is extremely wealthy.

May be irrelevant but I know my FIL and now us have tried to keep the wealth out of things so the children can make their own way through life and not rely on it.

In answer to the OP, I would say don't tell anyone you don't trust, get good financial advice and be cautious with spending. Change jobs to one you love, if questioned waffle about work life balance. Enjoy life!

I would gift large lump sums to DP DD and DS
Buy myself a bigger house and invest enough that I would not need to work again
I work for a small local charity they would get the rest - depending on the amount it could keep them going for years - supporting vulnerable people
I would still be involved just not 40+ hours a week!
I would also invest in jewellery, art and possibly a small business

Someone mentioned keeping it secret to keep the money for ourselves, but for me the main reason for a level of secrecy is that I have 6 kids. I want them to have friends and partners, especially partners, because they are kind/funny/sweet/their traits rather than having a constant trail of people trying to get into their lives because they have rich parents.

I think when you see lottery winners doing the sad face thing it's generally because they've not had good people around them

@Imissmoominmama

I wouldn’t tell anyone- not even DH (he’d fritter it!).

I would stage it as a series of smaller wins/inheritances, so that I could buy a house with land, and treat the people I loved, without creating expectation.

A good deal would go anonymously to charity.

Would you seriously not tell your husband?! If I found out my husband had won the lottery and hadn't told me I'd be equally devastated and furious!

Years ago I read about a young woman who won. She was happy enough with her life before the win - working in the factory with her mates and going out dancing and suchlike.

Well she won big and tried to stay in her job. People at the factory were jealous and mean saying it made a mockery of those who HAD to work, plus it was taking a job from someone who really needed it. So she left the job and lost the camaraderie she's had before and too much time on her hands.

People were mean about her living in her modest home with her parents - after all "you have all that money". She moved to a fancier area but was frozen out by the snobs who lived there.

If she didn't give her friends whatever they wanted she was a "mean bitch" and if she did pay for stuff when they went somewhere she was "showing off" and rubbing their noses in it.

She ended up pretty depressed. She seemed very sweet but just totally unprepared for that kind of wealth and how those around her would react.

I so want squirrel woman to win the lottery. You know what though? if someone has a spare squirrel suit I’d wear it for the dog for free

Don't tell people. Live off the investment. Buy things quietly but keep working/ start a business/ work PT/ do charity work.

Basically give yourself something to do and routine so you don't get depressed and turn to drugs and booze and holidays.

Don't tell people.

If you win BIG and don't tell anyone at all, you're still going to have to let it slip at some time.

Otherwise, as soon as you splash out on anything dearer than a box of moderately luxurious chocolates your family will think you're doing a Water White.

@Thegreymethod- it’s all hypothetical because I don’t actually do the lottery .

But no, he’d spend it on flash cars.

@LillianBland

You don’t tell people how much you’ve won. Out and out lie about the amount. Sit down and think about who has helped you when you were at your lowest and also cheered you on when things went well for you. There are those that support you when you’re down, but get jealous when you’re up.

Help the really small charities, but in a quiet way. Buy a place that is animal friendly and adopt elderly animals, so they don’t spent the last years of their lives in shelters. Hire help, if you need it. I think if you quietly help others, even without them knowing it’s you, then you will get more satisfaction out of that.

If it gets too much, go and do voluntary work with people who have a lot less than you, so you get a better appreciation for what you have.

This has long been my plan, too.

And a donkey sanctuary.

I’d definitely keep it quiet. I’d tell my mum, and buy her a little cottage near the sea.
I’d pay off all of our debt and buy a house, de k it out nicely etc.
Then I’d put some into trust funds for my kids, and spend as much as is needed to get proper help for my disabled 21 year old.

Have a new car and holiday.

Whatever was left would be invested. Maybe in property.

Keep it secret, definitely don't go public.

Take at least two months to decide what to do and keep going to work meanwhile or reduce your hours -just to avoid a massive change and slew of bad decisions. Go on holiday maybe.

Leave your home town. People will notice your change in lifestyle and too much drama around bitterness and anger because you won't lend them money. Backstory for money..even saying you had a modest lottery win - very low 7 figures.

Start afresh in a new town. Buy a property and keep to your back story.

Get a good money manager. Select your favourite charities to sponsor. Choose safe boring investments and live off the interest.

Live your life and enjoy. Gift friends and family, but not too extravagantly (you only won a £1 million remember). Do not invest in shoddy businesses esp family owned (you will be expected to keep pumping money into a failing business).

There's a thread around here I saw recently where this woman's friend has been really bitter and nasty towards her when she found out how much her husband earned - imagine how she'd be with a lottery win.

DH and I have discussed this in detail.

We have decided that we would be EXCELLENT lottery winners. People who say it wouldnt change their lives baffle me, if I'm honest. But we are quite unusual in that through our work we've both spent time with some extremely wealthy people, not famous celebrities, but very successful business people. Some use their money wisely and are happy, some use their money mistakenly and are sad/lonely/bitter/deluded... just like the rest of the human race.
We've figured out exactly how we'd like to spend it and I think we would have MAXIMUM fun out of it!
The only thing that really worries me is the kidnap/childrens safety element, but given our slightly bonkers jobs we can always pass trips off as 'a work thing'.

I think about 14m would be our optimum, but the plan could be expanded to accommodate more

@premiumshoes this came up after she recommended we watch Murder Mystery (that’s a totally different issue!) I think she meant it mean you wouldn’t get murdered by your spouse or whatever and stop them inheriting, you’re right. She’s quite obsessed with Death in Paradise too I promise she’s not an oddball, she’s lovely and it was in a convo involving wine

Can you imagine telling friends you had 109 mil in the bank? That would make you lose friends very quickly I bet ( especially the ones you decided not to help for whatever reasons or were only a colleague or friend of friend or just not worthy of any help financially etc)
I can see how it could cause misery rather than happiness not handled properly.

Putting yourself in the papers seems like madness to me. My current list of people I would tell stands at 2, just my mum and dad. I might expand that to my sister. She rents a lovely little one bed cottage which I’d buy for her if it ever came on the market.

I’d quietly upgrade everything in my house, nobody would really notice me switching from ikea to high end furniture.

Not sure how I’d keep the DCs quiet about first class travel and super fancy hotels.

Someone mentioned keeping it secret to keep the money for ourselves, but for me the main reason for a level of secrecy is that I have 6 kids. I want them to have friends and partners, especially partners, because they are kind/funny/sweet/their traits rather than having a constant trail of people trying to get into their lives because they have rich parents.

Totally agree with this. My DCs know their grandparents have a big posh house with 8 bedrooms and a pool. Flash cars etc. But if they knew their uni fees would be paid for, house deposits paid, driving lessons and first (modest) cars bought it would set them apart from their peers and they would probably not work as hard as if they weren't aware of the extent of the wealth.

My parents are teachers, very modest, just paid off their mortgage but few foreign holidays, very small house etc. Tbh they give us more time and emotional support than my in laws. But we all get on well. If the DCs comment on the contrast between their grandparents ' lifestyles I just agree that they live differently but love them equally.

Having received a significant sum of money (not lottery) I can tell you that there definitely are some people who either presume that you will pick up the tab, or say some of the most disgusting things to you due to their perception of your wealth.

Money makes some people pretty nasty.

My plan would be to a business angle. But I would only put in what my family member managed to raise themselves. So if they put in £5k I put in £5k. I think that would resolve a lot of issues!

Apparently Camelot offer the same support to all winners now, regardless of private/public. I think it was a legal issue, making winners think they'd have no support when they could go to any large financial advisor firm. But yes, that's not a thing anymore. I believe they just 'gently encourage' winners to go public because of course it's good publicity for them, I don't know what angle they use with the winners!