Send your toddler out to play in the front garden. I suggest a nice game of throwing rocks, or painting with brake fluid.
If your front garden has grass, a few good smears of vaseline along the side of the CF's car and then mowing the grass in the messiest possible way might be amusing. If the mower should accidentally scrape the car, that would, of course, be tragic but absolutely unavoidable. If no grass, the front might possible need pressure washing. Or maybe you have some bookshelves or something that need sanding down with a power sander, it's far too messy to do that indoors. Afterwards, they'd need painting or staining, and if it's a nice day it might be best to do that outdoors.
Your spineless twat of a DH has completely undermined your efforts to date. I hope you make him read the latter part of this thread so that he realises what a pillock he is.
I'm thankful that mine is a real grudgemeister with a deeply malicious imagination. If this happened to us, he'd be in the kitchen with pliers, bending nails into those things that puncture tyres.
It was him that told me about sticking a potato up the exhaust pipe of cars that park so they make it difficult for you to get in and out of your drive. The car starts fine, but after a few miles just die and won't start. This might only work on petrol cars though, I'll ask him when he's back from the shops.