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AIBU?

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Original poster

OH selling things I brought him

62 replies

quarantinekween · 24/08/2020 22:32

When I met OH 3 years ago I didn't have much money I was a single mum at the time. And I saved money up to buy him some exspensive trainers I didn't need to but he brought but me lots of nice things so I wanted to return the favour.

We're moving house next week and he's selling a few things and he's just gone and sold the trainers and I feel really hurt by it. He's saying stop being silly but I feel gutted.

AIBU I feel really sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
quarantinekween · 24/08/2020 22:59

according to him I'm childish and he can't believe I'm acting like this over a pair of trainers.

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 24/08/2020 23:00

I think when it’s clothes then he might not wear them any more and might want someone else to get the use out of them. I find men are far less emotionally connected to their clothes than women

DressingGownofDoom · 24/08/2020 23:03

You are being ridiculous. You were being ridiculous to buy them in the first place tbh.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 24/08/2020 23:07

@quarantinekween

according to him I'm childish and he can't believe I'm acting like this over a pair of trainers.
I'm with your OH TBH.
Alexandernevermind · 24/08/2020 23:09

Agree with the others. The trainers are more important to you than they are to him because you paid more than you could afford. He obviously wasn't that bothered, so instead of leaving them to gather dust he has sold them.

Original poster
quarantinekween · 24/08/2020 23:19

He has 50 other pairs of trainers he could sell and he's selling those ones. Maybe I am a sensitive soul but It just feels hurtful. I would never sell anything he brought me as a gift.

OP posts:
foxyroxyy · 24/08/2020 23:29

You were unreasonable in the first place for buying expensive trainers for a man instead of your children when you couldn't afford it. I'm sure you could've used the money for something more useful than trainers for someone who has 50 other pairs. Hmm

Alexandernevermind · 24/08/2020 23:30

How many pairs?? Wow!

Throckmorton · 24/08/2020 23:30

Bit of a red flag that he's calling you childish (whether or not you are being, it's not a nice thing to say), unless you've been having tantrums about this?

HerNameWasEliza · 24/08/2020 23:30

It sounds like you bought him a present which he didn't massively like and he didn't want to hurt your feelings at the time so he said nothing. Not sure there's anything to take great offence about? What is it about this that bothers you? That he didn't like them? didn't say at the time? Didn't wear something even though he didn't like them? He can't really keep them as a decorative item so what would have been the better thing to do with them?

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 24/08/2020 23:30

I would never sell anything he brought me as a gift.

Maybe you should. You will see his reaction if there will be any and it will help you to understand him more.

OnceUponATimeInHollywood · 24/08/2020 23:33

I don't think a pair of trainers are sentimental but I can see why you'd be upset. You need to let it go though & just move on from it

GammyLeg · 24/08/2020 23:36

Why did you buy a pair of trainers you could ill afford when he already had 50 pairs?

Original poster
quarantinekween · 24/08/2020 23:37

We wrote a Christmas list and he asked for those it's not like I randomly chose it. I'm not having a tantrum he just got a message of Depop that he's sold something so I asked him what he's been selling and he just said oh just some of my old trainers. Then I finally got it out of him.

Maybe I get too attached to things but they were the first thing I ever brought him.

OP posts:
Original poster
quarantinekween · 24/08/2020 23:38

@GammyLeg this was three years ago he didn't have that many trainers back then.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 24/08/2020 23:45

did he wear them alot-you shouldnt be spending money u dont have on trainers for xmas

WhatifIfeellikeacat · 24/08/2020 23:51

We wrote a Christmas list and he asked for those it's not like I randomly chose it.

In this case I would be upset as well, OP. He sounds more practical than sentimental. Men often are.

MrsOldma · 24/08/2020 23:53

He’s selling three year old trainers? I’d be more worried about who tf is buying them Envy

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/08/2020 23:56

I think it would be different if it was something more personal, like a watch. He probably just doesn’t see trainers in the same way.

Also, ‘brought’ is making my eyes hurt.

HerNameWasEliza · 24/08/2020 23:56

We wrote a Christmas list and he asked for those it's not like I randomly chose it.

So it sounds like he changed his mind. I still don't get what the big deal is?

steff13 · 25/08/2020 00:04

Are these shoes that you bought three years ago? If he's worn them in that time, I think that's fair enough. Something like jewelry would be different, it's more sentimental.

raddledoldmisanthropist · 25/08/2020 00:04

He has 50 other pairs of trainers he could sell Dear God- LTB.

they were the first thing I ever brought him

Do you fetch things for him all the time? Next time fetch him a nice pair of slippers and a newspaper.

ViciousJackdaw · 25/08/2020 00:08

Perhaps he didn't like them on. Happens all the time doesn't it - you get something and in the cold light of day, they look shit once you've got them on. Maybe they were uncomfortable. If the trabs in question were three years old and still saleable, it suggests minimal wear.

50 pairs though - is he one of those Adidas collectors? I used to go out with one, 8 pairs of Superstars - each pair only marginally different from the other, Gazelles in every colour, all in their boxes, Christ almighty...

Bbub · 25/08/2020 00:17

I think the fact he asked for them is makes it even less of a big deal, it's absolutely not a reflection on your taste so nothing to feel offended by. I get that you're more sentimental about gifts, but he's not and that's OK. decluttering is so therapeutic and trainers are really bulky items to just have hanging around for.... How long is he supposed to hang on to them? Its already been 3 years.

I think you need to accept that you don't see eye to eye on this and move on. I don't think he's done anything wrong.

PickAChew · 25/08/2020 00:20

Who has 50 pairs of trainers that actually bloody fit?

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