To be sick of this shit?

[toothfairy73]

I'm so angry. Not sure if it is really an AIBU. I just need to vent. I've just discovered that a distant relative is in a new relationship via Facebook. That would fine and dandy except he is married with 4 children (one of which is a tiny baby).

I'm so angry that he has so little respect for his wife that he has announced the end of their marriage in this way.

Im so angry with men getting women pregnant and then appearing to feel left out, or disgruntled because they have to share the attention. Or they go for someone without the baby weight and stretch marks (which they helped to create). I'm so pissed off with men not being able to keep In their pants and women being left to pick up the pieces.

This isn't family that I see regularly, and are family by marriage. It's none of my business and I am fully aware of that but I am so sick of this shit.

Well if that was an announcement to their close family too, then yes. Shitty

But this is a far out relative not someone the op is close to

@Noneformethanks

But this is a far out relative not someone the op is close to

I know. That's why I asked if they told anyone. If they haven't even told their close families and they found out through facebook like distant family and non family, it is shitty

Still not much to do with OP though...

It is my nephew

I didn’t tell my aunt I hardly ever see when I got divorced. I’m not even sure when she found out. I see her at funerals and weddings. We have zero relationship.

Am I supposed to ring her and tell her? Hell no.

It's nothing to do with me. His life. Can do what he likes. My main anger is the wider issue of men having families and then leaving them when life changes (as it does with children) and leaving when they were jointly responsible for creating this family. Yes women do this too but it's mainly men that do this, swanning off leaving their wife knee deep in nappies. They just get on with their new life and the woman is left to pick up the pieces. That is what I'm sick off. Yes it's bloody hard to raise a family. Yes all marriages have their difficulties. This isn't really about them. It's about how some men swan in and out of the lives of their families and then bugger off with someone else leaving the lions share of child rearing to the mum

@Noneformethanks I just think it's really disrespectful to his wife. She is only just getting her hair around what has happened and he is rubbing it in her face

Your reaction is extreme about something that doesn't concern you.

Im so angry with men getting women pregnant

When did women stop being responsible for ensuring they have effective contraception?

[quote toothfairy73]@Noneformethanks I just think it's really disrespectful to his wife. She is only just getting her hair around what has happened and he is rubbing it in her face[/quote]
You have no way of knowing that.

You’re really over invested in this. It’s weird.

@Crankley it's joint responsibility but if one person thinks they are in a committed relationship and the other one is having an affair then you don't have the same expectations. If you are unhappy leave. Don't shag about behind someone's back whilst still having unprotected sex with your wife.

But that’s not what you were complaining about. You were complaining and sick of the shit that he changed his relationship status on Facebook and you didn’t get told first.

@Noneformethanks no I was complaining about men treating women like shit and that it was disrespectful to his wife

I very much agree with @Noneformethanks about the over investment.

Also. I am sorry, but you keep going on about facebook and affair and how horrible are men for leaving and barely mention the DV So weird.

I mean like. He was abusing her, facebook status should be the least of anyone's worries

Well, if his wife didn’t know he had left, he’s it would be disrespectful. But I’m assuming she noticed he’d gone. In which case, he’s a shit bag for having an affair, but the fact he didn’t phone up an aunt he hardly sees to personally tell her but changed his status on Facebook is hardly here nor there.

I'm so angry that he has so little respect for his wife that he has announced the end of their marriage in this way.

I don't know how often the abuse happened (although it's irrelevant as once is too many) and yes she is well shot of him. I didn't know about the DV initially. It's not weird. I'm replying to comments so am focusing on that. But it isn't just about them. Yes I am over invested. As someone who has experienced SV at the hands of more than one man, and seen so many of my friends have to put up with cheating husbands that leave them to pick up the pieces I am angry. Very angry.

The fact he changed his relationship status on Facebook seems a weird thing to fixate on.

Surely since he’s a cheat and abuser, she is better off without him anyway?

Yes she is. The Facebook thing felt like it was done with no consideration to her feelings

So was the DV🤷🏻

@toothfairy73

Yes she is. The Facebook thing felt like it was done with no consideration to her feelings

That’s the least of your worries.

[quote toothfairy73]@Billben are you seriously blaming his wife for his behaviour? The previous form was having children and leaving. The DV is something only recently disclosed.[/quote]
Are you saying that he has previous form for having children and leaving?

Yes