To be sick of this shit?

[toothfairy73]

I'm so angry. Not sure if it is really an AIBU. I just need to vent. I've just discovered that a distant relative is in a new relationship via Facebook. That would fine and dandy except he is married with 4 children (one of which is a tiny baby).

I'm so angry that he has so little respect for his wife that he has announced the end of their marriage in this way.

Im so angry with men getting women pregnant and then appearing to feel left out, or disgruntled because they have to share the attention. Or they go for someone without the baby weight and stretch marks (which they helped to create). I'm so pissed off with men not being able to keep In their pants and women being left to pick up the pieces.

This isn't family that I see regularly, and are family by marriage. It's none of my business and I am fully aware of that but I am so sick of this shit.

Oh look at that.

AIbu to be pissed off.
Yabu.
He cheated.
Still probs yabu
There was a dv.

🙄
Come on!

Seems you’re basically pissed off no one told you the goss and you had to find out via Facebook.

Surely if there was DV it's great news that she found the strength to get rid?

So you saw on Facebook he had changed his relationship status and now the jungle drums are going with the goss about affair and DV.

Any other drip feeds...?

If the baby is very young even if he’d wanted to take it with him his wife wouldn’t have agreed - maybe she wants to have the kids and isn’t feeling shafted. If he’s suddenly, though not worth mentioning in the OP violent towards her then I’m sure she’s pleased he’s gone.

It seems like she is well shot of him. My rage is with the way some men treat women. I'm a survivor of SV so I may well be projecting but i feel so angry about the way some men treat women and we are left just to deal with the shit left behind

I'm not drip feeding intentionally. I've only just found out

So what’s the focus on him changing his relationship status on Facebook then?

OP you seem the type of family member to now take this piece of information and ring everyone stirring up drama. Your very reaction on here is telling. It is none of your business and you dont know any facts. Just your own projections and issues.

Exactly. So you’ve just found out and are looking for the gory details.

Why? It’s a distant relative by marriage. Why are you so invested?

You're completely and utterly right and it is sickening the way it's almost expected these days.
No idea why you're getting such a pasting here. It's not like you're on a plane to have it out with him. If he wanted no opinions then he would keep his life private.

I thought you were angry he’s left her for another woman. The DV was clearly a later addition.

Be as ragey as you like but it’s not helping his wife and it’s making you feel worse.

Make a drink, punch a pillow, go for a walk and get some air.

A man like that is hardly a good catch. The wife has been done a favour and if it's any consolation karma will strike and the new women can look forward to the same treatment one day.

@toothfairy73

I'm sick of men just buggering off and leaving women to pick up the pieces. I've seen it so many times. And to announce it by just changing your Facebook status seems so disrespectful to the mother of your children

Well of course it is OP. But this is MN where no matter what, some posters will argue the opposite just for the sake of it.

YANBU and you sound sad about it not "unhinged" at all.

I may well be projecting but i feel so angry about the way some men treat women and we are left just to deal with the shit left behind

Some men yes. Just like some women who do really shitty things. The fact that you have just 'found out' shows that you've already begun stirring.
If this is someone who is so distant and you hardly see then why is it that someone thought to inform you

You sound like my ex SIL who lived off this sort of stuff.

If I’d listened to the half of what was slabbered about me I was shagging the fleet, none of my kids were my ex’s, I hit him, spent all his money, never cleaned house and trapped him by getting pregnant.

You don’t know. You simply don’t. The best thing you can do for this far out family member is cool your jets and calm the prurient car crash watching.

@piscean10

OP you seem the type of family member to now take this piece of information and ring everyone stirring up drama. Your very reaction on here is telling. It is none of your business and you dont know any facts. Just your own projections and issues.

Exactly!

Can you imagine thread from the relative?
"My marriage, lots of DV, ended and my distant relative is making it all about her and FB announcement now. AIBU to think it's really disrespectful?"
🤷🏻

@notangelinajolie

A man like that is hardly a good catch. The wife has been done a favour and if it's any consolation karma will strike and the new women can look forward to the same treatment one day.

Are you actually hoping this man is violent towards another woman which will be “karma”?

A distant relative who I wouldn't know if I fell over them left her husband with the kids for another man after giving him a biffin.
Then to top it all off, she changed her FB status.
OPs head explodes.

I feel as you do, Toothfairy. It really pisses me off. Seems we’re a minority here! I hope his wife is in a better situation than you think. A relative of mine was recently dumped, with two small children by a man who felt his life was getting too restricted. Yes mate, you are a father, children do take up time and energy!

— actually even as I wrote that, two more friends and relatives came to mind. One of the men wanted to “find“ himself. Presumably hadn’t thought of looking before he fathered children. As far as I know he’s still looking 10 years later.

My sympathy to your female relative. Even if she threw him out (unlikely), she must have been in a truly miserable situation to choose lone motherhood with a small baby and three other children.

Sisterly xxx to you, from a fellow SV survivor. I was lucky to survive, and I do feel lucky. But I do not forgive the men who abuse women nor those whose lazy acceptance facilitates abuse.

Boris? Although I believe he has more than four children.

@thinkingaboutLangCleg thank you. This exactly it. It's the abuse of women i'm angry at.

@SummerPoppies he announced the end of his marriage by just changing his relationship status. Not her.

He has form for this, there is DV involved, yet the woman still had 4 kids with him🙄

I don’t know the ins and outs and frankly don’t even care, but women have to start taking responsibility for their own lives.

@Standrewsschool

Boris? Although I believe he has more than four children.

And this is the problem with the world. We should never be able to wonder - even in jest - if someone’s cheating, violent relative who dumped their wife just after she gave birth is actually our prime minister.