Hi!
I’m new to this. Just turned 50. No kids of my own - it didn’t happen and I was ok with that.
I’ve been seeing someone for a year. He has 11yo and 15yo girls. Long story short I’ve met the 11yo briefly (less than an hour) about 4 times. Never met the 15yo. She’s being playing up (staying at friends but really out all night, weed) stays in room and doesn’t speak. Refusing to meet me.
We planned to move in together and I was going to get to meet and spend time with girls but covid got in the way.
His house has just sold so we now have a few weeks to sort it. I’ve got a house we plan to share in the short term but I’m nervous of moving them in (shared custody) never having met the girl..
Been to their house for 1st time to try and engage in low key way. 11yo engages but gets everything she wants when she wants, won’t eat meal, stayed in room most of day. Demands stuff. 15yo got up for shower at 5pm went back to room. Didn’t want food. Never spoke. Dad speaks to her like she’s a baby.
Now I’m reeeeeeally scared. Is this normal? I’m not sure I am ok with a child who isn’t at the very least expected to say hello to a guest.
I can’t see how I’m going to be ok with the behaviour.
Moving in together seems crazy! I’m doubtful they will agree to come and it’s unlikely their mum will make them but what if they do! I’d love a relationship with them on any level but surely a level of politeness should be encouraged?
Suggestions please?