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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you could would you skip the next 18 months of life?

170 replies

severeine · 21/08/2020 03:56

I have hated 2020. I hated lockdown. I hated the sanctimoniousness it brought out. I hated the lack of social contact, the tragic consequences for some and isolation. If on balance a period of time is a net drain on quality of life, and I realise this is hypothetical, if you could, would you just go straight to the end of it and restart living when conditions are better? Before any of the "but how do you know things will be better -second lockdown, economy ruined, new virus" merchants pounce,I realise any talk of a less awful future is hypothetical.

OP posts:
Hotpinkangel19 · 21/08/2020 08:11

No, I wouldn't. I've had worse years.

HeronLanyon · 21/08/2020 08:13

No ! Even if you could cash them in and stick them later. I think generally things will continue to get more difficult - viruses, global warming, environmental problems. I’m happy not to extend my term into the future more than whatever my future term is.
I agree next 18 months will have challenges.
Just this week my dp and I have done a list of things we want to do even if we can’t travel out of the U.K. or do cultural stuff or have local lockdowns etc which our lives have been full of.
Some are small some are things we’ve been meaning to do for ages anyway. Starting to feel better about the next bit of our lives. I don’t want to carry on thinking it’s all pointless !

Hollywhiskey · 21/08/2020 08:17

@Ragwort I do get that. Of course I wish covid was over. I hate wearing a mask, I've missed seeing my grandad at the end of his life and I didn't go to his funeral. I want to hug my friends and family whenever we want not like a calculated risk.
I think in life there is always going to be shitty stuff that you want to get through but for me personally wishing time away is a very dangerous way to think and I am much healthier when I want time to slow down x

LakieLady · 21/08/2020 08:18

No, I'm 65 and may not have many years left!

I'm dreading the combined effects of Brexit and Covid though, and fear for what people who are still of working age and have rent or mortgages to pay may have to go through. I think we could well see a double whammy of rising unemployment and rising inflation.

God knows what the NHS and all our other public services will be in in a few years time. I guess it all depends on whether the government is prepared to borrow to rebuild the economy, and by how much. And if it will even be feasible if the UK loses a lot of business because of Brexit.

I feel very fortunate to be retiring next year, have savings and no mortgage, and I am fearful for those who aren't so lucky.

crikeycrumbsblimey · 21/08/2020 08:19

Only on the grounds I work for a uni and it’s going to be a nightmare

SomewhereEast · 21/08/2020 08:19

@heartsonacake. Could you maybe make a little imaginative leap and grasp that the last six months have been incredibly disorienting for millions of People Who Are Not Like You? Imagine we abruptly pitched you into an incredibly chaotic noisy extroverted disordered existence and then eye rolled at you for saying you were deeply unhappy?

mrssunshinexxx · 21/08/2020 08:22

My mum died 4 months ago when I was 6 weeks off having my first baby. I would honestly live like this for the rest of my life if I could have my mum Alive

DDIJ · 21/08/2020 08:22

This reply has been withdrawn

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user1497207191 · 21/08/2020 08:23

@NiceGerbil

How old are you op?

If I skip 18 months I'm nearly 50 and missed my younger kid starting secondary.

I also think you should face up to stuff no matter how bad it is. Hiding helps nothing.

Agree. Hiding and ignoring problems doesn't solve them. You have to face adversity, deal with it and you'll come out stronger. You need to accept the things you can't change and concentrate on what you can.
RedRumTheHorse · 21/08/2020 08:23

@Hotpinkangel19

No, I wouldn't. I've had worse years.
^This

I would also miss my toddler growing up, and some of my very elderly relations and friends may have died.

DDIJ · 21/08/2020 08:24

This reply has been withdrawn

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mrssunshinexxx · 21/08/2020 08:24

@WizardOfAus sorry you are in the same position it's utterly crap

Shutupyoutart · 21/08/2020 08:24

Op i get it. 2020 has been awful I've largely hated it too. Having said that though no i wouldn't skip 18 months. My baby girl started walking yesterday, shes almost one i would miss out on seeing so much of her and my other 3 children's growth. There have been some magical moments in 2020 too and i wouldn't want to miss them. Even if it means embracing all the other stuff. Im sorry to anyone having a hard time. X

RiteAid · 21/08/2020 08:25

I wouldn’t - mostly because I am pregnant and I don’t want to miss a moment. But even if I wasn’t I wouldn’t choose to skip forward. My grandfather is elderly and frail, and probably doesn’t have 18 months left. My gorgeous nephew is at the sweetest, funniest age and it’s so lovely to watch him grow up. I treasure every moment I have with my siblings and my parents.

Lockdown has been brutal and I totally agree that it has brought out the worst behaviour in a lot of people - judgment, public shaming, lack of empathy, greed, selfishness, etc. But for me it has been a welcome reminder of what is really important to me.

I’ve enjoyed the slower pace of life without my frantic commute. I’ve enjoyed having so much time to spend with my husband. I’ve enjoyed the appreciation people have shown for spending time together. I’ve enjoyed the garden and the countryside around me.

I fully appreciate my privilege - I haven’t been negatively affected by Covid in a financial sense, my job is as secure as it can be, and nobody I know has been ill with it. I wouldn’t blame others for wanting to skip forward at all. But for me, there’s still enough joy and excitement to make the next 18 months worth living.

ShandlersWig · 21/08/2020 08:26

While I appreciate its been very hard for some, what we've experienced in the lat 6 months is nothing like what's going on in countries like Syria. We've had it very easy in this county for years so I find it hard to complain.
Look at the number of people risking life to get to the UK. They're not doing it for a 1 bed council flat. They have lived there lives in truely hideous conditions. I think the last 6 months have given us in the UK a taste of how impactful something can be. Now imagine if covid had been a civil war raging for the last 7 years?

Happyspud · 21/08/2020 08:27

I just got a new job yesterday! And it's better than the old one with more opportunity for the future. So for me, no. It's not all bad. Covid lost me my 9 yr old job. But has forced me into a better one.

Could have totally gone another way but it didn't so I'll take whatever positives I can.

WouldBeGood · 21/08/2020 08:29

@AvoBaconHalloumi

I wouldn't skip it but am hoping its better. My theory is those who didnt have particularly nice/ enjoyable/social lives before enjoyed lockdown as there was nothing to miss out on. If you have no friends and nowhere to go it's going to make you feel better that everyone is in the same boat especially if you can can convince yourself it's for the common good. I have loved being able to do nice days out again, dinners, bars. Spending money on my girls in the shops. Cant wait to start back in my job i love ( teacher) will not be following the rules even if it happens again, have agreed with family and friends . Mental health more important to me and my family than the tiny risks presented by covid. We will be in and out each others houses all winter and those who don't like it can do one Grin. I feel so much for those who have lost jobs and income and younger people than me who will find it nigh on impossible to get on the property ladder. The DC who have missed out on so much normality. The victims of DV and those with serious MH issues. The many have been sacrificed to save a few.
I really agree with your post @AvoBaconHalloumi. But your user name has made me so hungry for all my favourite things and I’m doing 16:8 😂
daisychain01 · 21/08/2020 08:30

@heartsonacake

I passionately detest the "orderly rules and systems". In fact, I detest everything about 2020 and lockdown and "new normals" and face masks and busybodies policing everyone else and all this hateful stuff.

etopp Of course it’s serious. I like rules and I like order; this suits me just fine.

It’s not hateful at all, and you harbouring all this anger and hate about the situation does nothing but eat you up inside. It’s not healthy for you.

Lockdown has been tremendously difficult and isolating for many, many people though @heartsonacake. The only way my DSis and I could stay in touch with DM was by phone as the retirement flats where she lives were really strict about not allowing people, even families, into the apartments. DM was fine but we were extremely worried about the isolating effect of her living on her own and having to make phone calls as our only means of contact.

My best friend's ex who she has a cordial relationship with, cannot attend his DMs funeral next week as he is undergoing chemo after being diagnosed with cancer before lockdown and had to delay the treatment for months.

These are two of millions of real examples of how people's lives have been turned upside down. It isn't about whinging or "just getting on with it" it's the life-changing reality of what has been happening, which may not affect individuals like you (lucky you), but acknowledging people's challenges is an empathetic way to be, not being dismissive and callous about it, just because you "loved lockdown" and can't see what all the fuss is about.

Thecobwebsarewinning · 21/08/2020 08:30

No. I’m not enjoying all this but I’m nearly 60 and I’m not wishing my life away.

pointythings · 21/08/2020 08:30

No, I wouldn't. We have all lost a lot, but as a family unit we have also gained a lot. I've spent more time with my DDs and my foster son than I would otherwise have done. I've learned to grow my own vegetables. All my kids have acquired new skills and deepened their friendships. I've worked throughout and have met and worked with new people I would otherwise have had no interaction with. Yes, there are negatives too, but I wouldn't have missed out on the positives.

Dogsgowoofwoof · 21/08/2020 08:30

No, I’m expecting my second and most probably last baby. I want to enjoy every bit of pregnancy and the (horrendous Grin) newborn stage.

userxx · 21/08/2020 08:32

I wish I could just wipe out 2020. It's been shit.

Supersimkin2 · 21/08/2020 08:34

No. I've been ill earlier in life and lockdown reading in bed is way better.

redcarbluecar · 21/08/2020 08:36

No I wouldn't jump forward, mainly because there will probably be another shitshow to deal with in 18 months time so best to plough on with life. We've all had very different experiences and difficulties though so it's understandable that you feel that way.

nobodysdaughter · 21/08/2020 08:41

No!
I'm really looking forward in to the next eighteen months to -
Doing an artists challenge called 'inktober' in a couple of months.
Growing some giant sunflowers next summer in the front garden, choosing the colours for my hanging baskets.
Continuing to enjoy watching my DD9 grow up, and laughing around the house.
Doing some serious Xmas/cooking baking.
I've got a few books I'd like to read.
Starting treatment for a long term, previously undetected chronic health condition.
Gaining a another eighteen months drawing/painting/tattooing practice - how much will I improve I wonder?
Maybe moving to our forever home.
That was helpful to write out, I'm actually excited Smile