If you could would you skip the next 18 months of life?

[severeine]

I have hated 2020. I hated lockdown. I hated the sanctimoniousness it brought out. I hated the lack of social contact, the tragic consequences for some and isolation. If on balance a period of time is a net drain on quality of life, and I realise this is hypothetical, if you could, would you just go straight to the end of it and restart living when conditions are better? Before any of the "but how do you know things will be better -second lockdown, economy ruined, new virus" merchants pounce,I realise any talk of a less awful future is hypothetical.

I have been thinking 'stop the world I want to get off' just recently.

For me it is the uncertainty ahead - 'winter is coming'...

I haven't had a bad lockdown, I haven't suffered nor have my children, but I don't feel confident things will be same/better by November than they are now.

But I wouldn't want to miss seeing my kids do things, so it has to be a family bubble, guaranteed no burst pipes etc when we get out, the time added on at end of life - ok?

Good thread op, interesting.

No I wouldn't skip anything.
"Lockdown" has been ok for me as I have worked all the way through it. Many of my friends outside work work for the same organisation me so I have still seen them. I came back from my second holiday of the year 3 days before restrictions started so I've not missed out on holidays
I've cycled and hiked for my daily exercise and loved being at home with my family. I have quite literally saved thousands that I've put into my savings account by not travelling and having weekend breaks, not going to concerts, Theatre,Cinema,the Edinburgh fringe etc.
If "lockdown" wasnt bad for the economy, peoples mental health, an abusers dream or any of the terrible things for people I would happily carry on for a few more months. Not forever because I am missing things but it has given me time to slow down and reset.

@Lobsterquadrille2

No way. My mother was 90 last week and has faced lockdown with wartime spirit - embraced Zoom, YouTube, online deliveries and banking, built a rockery and painted a shed. If she, widowed after 66 years, can do it, while finding lots of it really tough, I want to be around to support her through what are most likely the last few years of her life.

THIS. A THOUSAND TIMES. Go Lobsterquadrille2’s mama. Many could learn a lot from you. Respect.

No I would skip the next 5 and a half months though, but that's because I'm pregnant and I absolutely hate being pregnant. It's would destroying.

I generally keep quiet because I realise that many people have had an awful time, and some people have lost loved ones. But for us, 2020 has been a bit of a blessing. I feel terrible saying that out loud though.

I have two autistic children and the world is such hard work for them to navigate. It takes an enormous effort and toll on them. Being given the permission to just take a break from being around other people and pressure, and spend quality time together at home has been lovely. We've really enjoyed each other's company and I've felt so lucky to have these months. The children have really blossomed, it's been wonderful to see them decompress and just relax.

I'm self-employed, so it hasn't been easy but that's OK. The benefits far outweigh the negatives for us as a family.

I'm sorry for everyone who's had a rough time and is still finding things hard ❤️

@severeine

I don’t understand why everyone’s been whinging to be quite honest confused It is what it is, even if you don’t like it we have to get in with it and being so down about it is just going to make you even more miserable.

This, in a nutshell, epitomises why I have started to hate MN

Not just MN, this approach is more and more common in RL too IMO.

But I feel for people who only have this response as they must be distant from their own feelings as well as those of others.

No. I think anyone with children / elderly/ terminally ill family. would say the same. Also my family suffered many deaths in the last 18 months ( not Covid ) and I would be scared the same would happen.

The past 6 months have been unimaginably bad, but there have been the odd good thing that I wouldn't have wanted to miss.

No, because life always throws stuff at you, and it’s always up to you to try and make the best of it

I would not want to miss a thing

We’re not exactly being bombed or suffer wing intolerably. Most of us are just minorly inconvenienced, I think?

It’s annoying but not torture

No because

1. Life is short and I embrace the journey.
2. In 18 months time the country will be up shit creek, suffering the economic impact of Covid ( and still be in some form of sporadic lockdowns) and fully shafted by Brexit.

Things won't be much better in 18 months time OP. We still won't have a vaccine, we will still have lockdowns and the government will be running out of money.

Yes and I am 66. I loved lockdown. Being with DH 24/7 (he normally works and often long hours), getting loads of decorating done and gardening, taking a language course.

Now though I feel as if we are in a kind of limbo. Able to go to shops but having to wear a mask. They make my nose run and my face hot and sweaty (even when it's not a particularly hot day). Can't go to the cinema as none open near me, can't got to the theatre. If we want to go to a castle, stately home etc it has to be pre-booked and, obviously, you have no idea what the weather will be like.

We are better off financially this year and were planning to have a really nice holiday, possibly a cruise. Of course that is not happening. No way will we fly and even going to France via Eurotunnel is not on now. So no holiday at all.

Every day a new story of a company that has gone bust. So many struggling especially holiday firms, restaurants etc. The future looks bleak

I also really hate that so many people now seem to think it is all over. They don't wear masks, they don't keep their distance. I spend any time outside dodging other people.

I hate it. Life is just depressing now. If it is going to continue like this I would rather not bother.

@speakout

No because

1. Life is short and I embrace the journey.
2. In 18 months time the country will be up shit creek, suffering the economic impact of Covid ( and still be in some form of sporadic lockdowns) and fully shafted by Brexit.

Things won't be much better in 18 months time OP. We still won't have a vaccine, we will still have lockdowns and the government will be running out of money.

Oh thanks for this cheering thought

Yes, I would love just to wake up when all this is done. I’m finding it so depressing, and the lack of empathy and general fuckwittedness awful. I’m fifty, but feel like this year has been wasted. I had grand plans to travel loads, do cultural things, go to gigs and make the most of life after a horrible time. All taken away. Existing is no fun. So yes, wake me up when the fun starts again 😃

I’d skip them. DP was sent home at the start of lockdown, was home for nearly 3 months. We coped with the no pay, being in each other’s space all the time etc (he normally works away)

Then he went back. Trying to catch up on all the missed work. Was up at 5 to go to work, not getting in til 11 at night, working all day outside in that heat London had recently. He’s now home again, burnt out, with anxiety and up to his eyeballs in setraline.

Fuck you 2020. Quite happily see the back of it and hope for better times ahead.

Yes if I am being brutally honest, and I am 62 and my DPs are very late 80s so I am very aware that their time is rapidly running out.

Unlike others I have not enjoyed being 24/7 with my DH & teenage DS (home from Uni) although I have obviously put on a brave face and appreciate that we are so much more fortunate than many people, no financial worries, nice home & garden, live in a nice part of the country with plenty of countryside around. But I haven't enjoyed it, my 'normal' life is being out and about, involved with the community and that has been severely restricted ... and I also enjoy time alone at home, that has gone, endless tedious negotiations about what to watch on tv bores me ... I keep hearing about theatre productions, musicals etc that I would love to watch, if I was on my own - and yes, I am very aware that it all sounds very petty. I miss seeing friends, I don't want to meet via Zoom.

I wouldn't skip it but am hoping its better. My theory is those who didnt have particularly nice/ enjoyable/social lives before enjoyed lockdown as there was nothing to miss out on. If you have no friends and nowhere to go it's going to make you feel better that everyone is in the same boat especially if you can can convince yourself it's for the common good. I have loved being able to do nice days out again, dinners, bars. Spending money on my girls in the shops. Cant wait to start back in my job i love ( teacher) will not be following the rules even if it happens again, have agreed with family and friends . Mental health more important to me and my family than the tiny risks presented by covid. We will be in and out each others houses all winter and those who don't like it can do one . I feel so much for those who have lost jobs and income and younger people than me who will find it nigh on impossible to get on the property ladder. The DC who have missed out on so much normality. The victims of DV and those with serious MH issues. The many have been sacrificed to save a few.

I would hate to miss out on my children's younger years.

@heartsonacake

No, of course not. I loved lockdown and I’m enjoying the social distancing when out and about; I like the orderly rules and systems now in place in shops/restaurants and I like that everything’s cleaner.

I don’t understand why everyone’s been whinging to be quite honest It is what it is, even if you don’t like it we have to get in with it and being so down about it is just going to make you even more miserable.

Is this a serious post by heartsoncake?

I passionately detest the "orderly rules and systems". In fact, I detest everything about 2020 and lockdown and "new normals" and face masks and busybodies policing everyone else and all this hateful stuff.

I'm not sure whether I'd skip 18 months, OP, because I'd be 50 when I emerged, and I'd like to postpone that moment, really - but otherwise, it would have its distinct advantages.

Not at all. Loads of good things happened to me this summer. I got a new niece. My youngest is crawling and nearly walking. My eldest talks more every day and is just becoming so fun to hang around with. We've had some glorious sunny days around here. I've set some PBs in some sports.
I've been suicidal before and that was exactly my thinking at the start. I wanted to lock myself into a box or disappear and maybe wake up or come back in a year or two. I can never go back to that way of thinking. Surely you must have something, however small, that makes you happy and thankful for every day, even if it's just nice breakfast cereal or a bracing walk.

@Lobsterquadrille2

No way. My mother was 90 last week and has faced lockdown with wartime spirit - embraced Zoom, YouTube, online deliveries and banking, built a rockery and painted a shed. If she, widowed after 66 years, can do it, while finding lots of it really tough, I want to be around to support her through what are most likely the last few years of her life.

Your Mum sounds like my MIL. She's in her 80s and has been amazing through all this despite living a long way from us so not seeing any family for months. It was so good when she could finally come and stay with us and be part of our bubble.

I would never want to miss any of life, you don't know what's coming. We have not had it as bad as most people (well paid secure jobs that can be done from home, large house, live in nice area so even in deepest lockdown still able to go for nice walks, already had regular deliveries so not really affected by food shortages, no family or friends ill) but it was still hard at times (the isolation from family who live a long way away isn't good and is still going on, 3DC to home educate meant DH and I working shifts round each other which was exhausting).

I think it would be interesting to go back in time, not forward. Think of how things could have been handled better (so obviously we'd have to know what was going to happen).

No, my little boy is five and I couldn’t miss cope with missing out on experiencing all that time with him. When I think about our little plan I would also most likely to be fast forwarding past my own wedding. The fast forward would also end just before we intend to start foster to adopt.

I get where you're coming OP & feel exactly the same about lockdown and the whole atmosphere this has generated. But I honestly wouldn't write off the next 18 months. We either get a vaccine (and the outlook for that is looking quite good) relatively soon, or we'll just accept that we have to actually get on with living. I think that decision will be helped by greater knowledge & improved treatments. Survival rates even for the most seriously ill have vastly improved in the past five months. Lockdown on and off for...how long?...isn't remotely sustainable. Younger people are already accepting that I think. The rest of us will get there (judging by my area the rest of us have already got there ).

Just to add, I'm a historian by background (not in academia any more due to crazy workload) and I don't actually think Covid is the great generation-defining threat people think it is? People have got into this weird apocalyptic mindset about it

Holly, but you can still enjoy things and make the most of the current situation but wish it was over ... I have a lovely day planned - my day off work, sitting in bed with a delicious cup of freshly ground coffee and mumsnetting, arranged to take my elderly parents out for a lovely lunch at a riverside pub where my DS works so we will all enjoy that, fish and chip supper planned as well to celebrate my DH's birthday ... so I absolutely appreciate that my life is very comfortable, stress free and better than many people's but it is still not 'my normal' and there is loads that I miss.

I don't go round with a long face or complain ... I am only this honest here on Mumsnet.

I passionately detest the "orderly rules and systems". In fact, I detest everything about 2020 and lockdown and "new normals" and face masks and busybodies policing everyone else and all this hateful stuff.

etopp Of course it’s serious. I like rules and I like order; this suits me just fine.

It’s not hateful at all, and you harbouring all this anger and hate about the situation does nothing but eat you up inside. It’s not healthy for you.

Nope. Lockdown has been fine for us, and there's now pretty much nothing that we want to do that we can't. If people don't think it's ok for others to say that, then maybe they should stop starting/joining threads where posters are being asked how it's been for them. It's not insensitive to answer the question that's been asked.

Nobody is unaware or unsympathetic to people who have been ill or have lost loved ones. That doesn't mean they can't comment on the way people have dealt with and reacted to lockdown.