When MN turns into a Four Yorkshiremen sketch

[SteveArnottsbeadyeyes]

Maybe just me but seeing it more often. Op can say “I’ve been left with £10 to last me a month, I have four children to feed, and now the boiler has stopped working”

First reply... well you should feel lucky with your £10 I only habe £5 and I cannot conceive so feel lucky you have children.

@IfNotNow123

I shouldn't....I'm going to....ok, I know it's a worrying time for a lot of people..but some of the teachers lately.. "Oh, back at work in a sweaty curry house serving 50 customers a night are you,? Well try being TRAPPED in a windowless classroom no bigger than a phone box pressed up against 32 snot encrusted germ incubators while every one hates you and the government is planning to have you killed!"

😂😂😂 nobody works as hard as a MN teacher

Quick game of Ecky Thump, anyone?

@roarfeckingroarr

This is very funny. There's also a serious point that it's impossible to ask for advice if you're not undergoing severe hardship, especially financially.

So true. Unless you’re posting that you’ve got a bag of carrots, three eggs and £9.67 to see you and your family of six through until Thursday week, you must not ask for financial advice.

You will be told how lucky you are because someone else has an egg allergy or that you don’t actually have a problem at all because you can buy a sack of spuds and some cheap baked beans (you soft, spoilt drama llama - don’t you know that this how 23.47% of people under 30 with blue eyes live )

The competitive poverty is nuts and it’s become a race to the bottom. If your financial problems can’t be fixed by stretching every meal with lentils and cancelling Netflix then you don’t have any problems, you should be grateful and you need to leave your little bubble occasionally to see how real people live.

@TeaAndStrumpets

Mike Harding claimed he was too poor to be born, so his mother had him knitted by the WVS.

I’ve also heard him claim he ran down a wall and hatched in the sun!

You know it's only a matter of time before one of the Mumsnet Martyrs comes goose stepping on the thread to tell you not to joke about horses, poverty, apocalypse, the North etc etc get ready op.

The apocalypse?

Conquest, War, Famine Plague

Should be a baby names thread

So true. Unless you’re posting that you’ve got a bag of carrots, three eggs and £9.67 to see you and your family of six through until Thursday week, you must not ask for financial advice.

So obviously begging! Reported

I'm not witty enough to contribute, but loving this thread, so funny,

JaimieLee

My faither had nae arms, nae legs and nae head, but still went down t'mine"

My faither had nae arms, nae legs and nae head, but still went down t'mine

You mean he was just a dick?

@TrojanWhore

My faither had nae arms, nae legs and nae head, but still went down t'mine

You mean he was just a dick?

😂😂😂

I've no witticisms to add, but thank you for all brightening my evening.

@FredaFrogspawn

Oh my gosh yes - the lunch box threads. OP: My dd has a cheese sandwich, a penguin and a tangerine. Is this an ok lunch? Poster 1: Are you trying to kill her? All that fat, sugar, wheat and animal products. My DD has some hummus, a wrap and some cucumber. Poster 2: A wrap? Do you know how many carbs are in a wrap? My dd has some gravel, a grated radish and a turnip. She often comes back with half the turnip, it’s so filling. Poster 3: A turnip? Turnips are more or less sugar. I can’t believe you’re feeding her that. My dd has a bottle of water and a small pot of lentils. Poster 4: My dd has a dairylea snack box and a wagon wheel you snobs. Not everyone can afford turnips and lentils.

The whole fruit is evil is weird. There was a thread lately where someone posted that crisps were 'better' than fruit.

I can't accept anyone would genuinely think this.

As a Yorkshire Woman I'm taking umbrage at this thread but my umbrage was free from me mam

It's threads like this I wish MN had a "like," option for comments! Brilliant!

@Flymetothetoon

As a Yorkshire Woman I'm taking umbrage at this thread but my umbrage was free from me mam

You were lucky to have a Mam to get umbrage from. We had to pay 3d to the foreman to get permission to take umbrage every 5th Wednesday.

For me Grandads funeral we couldn't afford a herse so we put the coffin in a shopping trolley and pulled it along with me Raleigh Grifter

Coffin! You could afford a coffin?

We had to be immortal in God's Own County as we couldn't afford a coffin!

Oh your baby wakes up every 30 minutes every night for 12 months and you are hallucinating with tiredness? Oh but that’s NORMAL! My baby woke up every 10 mins for the first 12 years! babies are supposed to drive you to psychotic breakdowns! I managed to work 70 hours a week and have 5 others and I skipped around trilling all the day long! BLESS just pop LO in a sling when you make a veggie chilli in the slow cooker.

MY GOD how can people be so sanctimonious!

As a Yorkshire Woman I'm taking umbrage at this thread

Well hark at them who are well off enough to afford umbrage...

Can’t sleep and this is making me laugh. Until I read this thread I had begun to believe that my family were the only people who preferred going abroad to hot countries over camping in Cornwall.

Also as someone else stated, it seems increasingly common that you’re not allowed to complain about anything if you earn more than the average wage e.g. ‘I hate my job because my boss is a sexist pig who pinches me on the bum every day’. OP provides context..lives in London...earns £70k. Responses ignore the fact she’s being abused and focus on her wage and location. ‘Well you could easily live and work outside of London, we have culture and stuff outside London you know and you could buy a 6 bed with land round here for that’, ‘DH and I live on a combined salary of £12.50, and the DC love to go camping off the side of the M1 every leap year so why do you need £70k?

@AnnoyedStepGrownUp

The other threads I hate are the sanctimonious lockdown and DC threads. If you are not giving your children a delightful, middle class lockdown with walks in the country with Timmy the dog, cheese sandwiches and home made lemonade, whilst making paper boats to float down the stream, then you should have your children taken away by social services.

God yes, I started a thread the other day about whopping cost of getting into a just-reopened soft play and it was full of "Why on earth would you pay to entertain your children? Baffling - a nice country walk is much better, Costa nothing and the kids will love it way more". no kids want stuff, brightly coloured shiny stuff they can slide down and bounce off. They're bored to the back teeth of walks, they've done nothing but walks for 6 months!

We were sent round people's doorstep to nick papers so we could have toilet paper.

@Gingernaut stop showing off with your toilet. We had nowt but a hole in t’ground.

@GlummyMcGlummerson yes all children like walking in the pissing rain or 30 degree heat for two hours.

Of course they do, don’t be FEEBLE my dear