When MN turns into a Four Yorkshiremen sketch

[SteveArnottsbeadyeyes]

Maybe just me but seeing it more often. Op can say “I’ve been left with £10 to last me a month, I have four children to feed, and now the boiler has stopped working”

First reply... well you should feel lucky with your £10 I only habe £5 and I cannot conceive so feel lucky you have children.

Love this thread 🤣

@GlummyMcGlummerson ha that was an actual lol moment. My dog got quite a fright.

@VictoriousSockPuppet we could claim £800 a month of t' Tax Credit folk but I want me sprogs to know that money dunt grow on trees and t' benefit system ain't summet to rely on. So we make £4 a week stretch out for food and toys. But they dunt even wan' arrrr-pads, much 'appier wiy a bunch o' twigs and their imaginations. We're all malnourished an underweigh' and completely depressed but at least we 'av tha principles

DH has just been made redundant so only a matter of time before I’m living int shoe box int middle of t road.

@GlummyMcGlummerson oh god yes! If you dare to want more than a registry office in jeans you’re obviously a flash bastard!

@GlummyMcGlummerson but... despite your wedding costing £5.99 you must never ever habe a paid bar as that would be the height of bad banners

Jeans? JEANS? Pfft, ya posh bitch. If only I could afford jeans. Leggings on my wedding day, I got me fancy ones out though, only 4 holes but at least none were in t' crotch

@PoppySeedSaid

What I don't understand about MN is how everyone claims to be earning £250k doing a PT job and their partner is an even bigger earner. But when someone asks how to make £10 last a family of four for a week they get jumped on for being lucky enough to have that kind of cash in the first place!!!

Yessssss.

Let me explain.

It's all lies 🙊

You're so right, OP, the competitive misery is tedious.

There have been a few threads that could have been fun, but instead turned into huge "woe is me" fests. A "can't say it in real life? Say it here" thread that could have been fun, embarrassing admissions instead became a misery fest.

Also "Your childhood in three words" was unrelentingly miserable: about 95% of MNers apparently had childhoods that should have had SS involvement.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

Wedding ones are my favourite.

OP: "How can I have a dream wedding for just £3k?"

Replies: "£3k!!! I could only have dreamed for having that much for mine! We spent £3.78 on our wedding. I picked my own flowers from a local field, bought a 50p white nightie from Age UK as a wedding dress, packed a Tesco value picnic for guests and the venue was a hole we dug in the ground. All our guests still say to this day it was the best wedding they've ever been to."

That would feed my family of 29 (don't you dare to judge!) for 3 weeks! I am bit of a budget queen

[quote GlummyMcGlummerson]@VictoriousSockPuppet we could claim £800 a month of t' Tax Credit folk but I want me sprogs to know that money dunt grow on trees and t' benefit system ain't summet to rely on. So we make £4 a week stretch out for food and toys. But they dunt even wan' arrrr-pads, much 'appier wiy a bunch o' twigs and their imaginations. We're all malnourished an underweigh' and completely depressed but at least we 'av tha principles [/quote]
Actually you should be obese since you live in poverty. Very basic mistake for MNetter... Shame on you

Just going to point out that £10 should be enough for that most magical of foods - The Mumsnet Chicken!

If you can't feed a family of 18 x 3 meals a day for at least a fortnight on this beast, you're just WASTEFUL. I should know. I feed my 26 children for a month on mine. Despite my high earning 6hr a week job and DPs seven figure income.

Me fatha had nay legs and nay arms and nay head, and did he claim PIP? Did 'ee 'eck as like. He forced hisself down that mine shaft every day, wi'is pride intact.

@SidesteppinTheRona honestly there was a Thread the ither day for someone asking about a holiday..,, I swear no one else is happy unless they’re enduring the equivalent of a prisoner of war camp.

It's benefits that make some posters froth like the spinning tops of the ocean waves on a stormy day.

The thing that gets me when a poster is complaining about a family member’s awful behaviour it is inescapable that someone pops up and says “i just WISH my family member would do that annoying thing but they’re DEAD, you are so ungrateful”. God.

@JamieLeeCurtains yep... all very “if you’re on benefits you should be eating plain lentils and your child should get coal for Christmas”.

Oh yes @Comtesse this one, a poster tells of awful, awful child neglect and abuse by DM, wants to go NC as pregnant- cue the 'she is your MOTHER!! how can you deny your child this beautiful relationship, my mother is DEAD, you are awful, and your child should be taken from you to her custody'..

“My mother is DEAD so you are an ingrate”. Just the biggest illogical leap. And demeaning and rude.

I quite want someone to say “Dead? DEAD?! You were lucky to be dead! My mother was UNdead we couldn’t even afford to be dead”.

@GlummyMcGlummerson

Wedding ones are my favourite.

OP: "How can I have a dream wedding for just £3k?"

Replies: "£3k!!! I could only have dreamed for having that much for mine! We spent £3.78 on our wedding. I picked my own flowers from a local field, bought a 50p white nightie from Age UK as a wedding dress, packed a Tesco value picnic for guests and the venue was a hole we dug in the ground. All our guests still say to this day it was the best wedding they've ever been to."

My second wedding did genuinely cost £2k - including the honeymoon!

As for my childhood... I wasn't given a middle name - my parents couldn't afford it. Even my first name was an old one which had belonged to my grandmother!

But it is of course fine to spend ££s on handbags, make up/skincare and candles.

Prefer Yorkshire folk to conspicuous consumption any day - you can take the lass out of Yorkshire, but you can't take Yorkshire out o' t' lass

I suppose one thread attracts one sort of poster,and another the other sort.

Pah, when I were a lass MN was so pooer (East Riding accent) we could only afford three Yorkshiremen.

And we could make roast retired racing pigeon feed a family of twenty four for a fortnight.

Summun trod on ower cockroach.

Aaah, don't forget about the competitive not-eating threads.

OP: I had cous cous, an apple and some dust for lunch - does this sound like too much?
MN: Blimey! I hope you didn't eat dinner after stuffing your face, you fat pig! That feast would last me for days.

Or the stealth brag where every mouthful is completely and wonderfully nutritionally balanced, and everyone fights to prove that their diet is more perfect than anyone else. While I'm sat here reading while munching a Mars bar and thinking they don't know what they're missing 😅