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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband accused me of hacking his pc

56 replies

Donenothingwrong · 20/08/2020 22:03

Hi I'm new, this is my first post. I need to vent & I need to know is he being unreasonable?

Late last night I was transferring photos from my phone onto his PC to store them safe as my phone memory is full. Hubby had to help with this as I'm totally useless with anything technical. I only transferred photos, nothing else whatsoever. He went to bed early & I spent another 15 mins approx on the PC. For some reason he's waited until tonight to tell me he thinks I've "hacked in" to things on his PC as he woke up to a message on his iPad saying "another device has been used to access ......." he was angry & blatantly accused me of snooping. I'm shocked, upset & cant believe this. I would never snoop around - wouldn't even think of doing it anyway & even if I wanted to I dont know his passwords. We've been together for 15 years & he should know how honest I am I'm so shocked!!

I've told him to investigate more as he's had fraud happen before & maybe someone has hacked in but he insists it must have been done on his pc so basically I'm the one who's done it because I was the only person awake after him (kids were asleep)

I understand this is a coincidence but I'm gutted he's accusing me when I've sworn on my life I've done nothing!! AIBU to feel so upset & untrusted?

OP posts:
Ullupullu · 20/08/2020 22:05

He's up to something.

ThePlantsitter · 20/08/2020 22:05

Wasn't it just referring to your phone?

What has he got to hide?!

imissthesouth · 20/08/2020 22:06

Sorry to have to say this but he sounds like he has something to hide. I wouldn't normally condone snooping but now you really have to. I think there's a bigger issue here than you "hacking" his PC

pooopypants · 20/08/2020 22:08

That seems like a huge reaction..... I smell BS somewhere. Have there been any other signs OP?

mybonesache · 20/08/2020 22:08

I agree something to hide. Otherwise why would he be bothered that you have looked.

DianaT1969 · 20/08/2020 22:11

Sounds like the message referred to your phone, but he should know that.
Ask him what he has on the pc that is such a secret.

Slimeisevil · 20/08/2020 22:12

I’m not entirely sure but if you log into your account on a different device (iPad/iPhone etc) you will get an email saying this.

I set up a PAYG phone for my daughter in my Apple ID and it alerted me that someone was logging in etc.

If that’s not the case the either someone is hacking his account, or he has something to hide.

I hope it’s the former.

hastingsmua1 · 20/08/2020 22:14

How could you even have hacked anything if he was right there helping you use his PC? He would have seen everything you were clicking

imissthesouth · 20/08/2020 22:16

@Slimeisevil

I’m not entirely sure but if you log into your account on a different device (iPad/iPhone etc) you will get an email saying this.

I set up a PAYG phone for my daughter in my Apple ID and it alerted me that someone was logging in etc.

If that’s not the case the either someone is hacking his account, or he has something to hide.

I hope it’s the former.

This

When you log into your apple ID on a new phone/iPad/laptop etc you get a message about it. My kids used to share my apple ID and I was always getting this message

Issantagettingbusy · 20/08/2020 22:18

I smell ow not bs..

hastingsmua1 · 20/08/2020 22:18

Oh right - ignore me, just read that you were using it without him present.

Does he have a Mac or MacBook? As I’m struggling to see why a windows PC would alert the iPad. I’m an Apple user and I’m not familiar with the message he apparently received (“another device has been used to access .......”).

Original poster
Donenothingwrong · 20/08/2020 22:19

He massively over reacts about a lot of things & gets stressed out very easily. He's recently started a new job & the workload is crazy so he's even more stressed byt he shouldn't be taking it out on me. He says his FB, messenger & facetime were accessed. Not bank accounts or anything serious. I think it's the fact that someone has accessed it not the possibility that he's hiding anything

I totally trust him, I know him so well. He works from home, we spend nearly all our time together so I know there's nothing going on from his side I just cant believe he's doubted me & doesn't trust me. Relationships are nothing without trust

He's given me a weak apology but I can tell he still doesn't believe it wasn't me. What else can I say to prove it wasn't me?

OP posts:
Original poster
Donenothingwrong · 20/08/2020 22:22

@hastingsmua1 yes it's an apple mac

OP posts:
imissthesouth · 20/08/2020 22:24

That's good to hear. Maybe it's just stress that's leading to him being paranoid? Could these services/apps of been open on another webpage? My facebook will sometimes tell me i've logged in when in fact it's just my computer started up again. Definitely have a sit down conversation with him about it, Unfortunately there's not much you can say or do to prove it wasn't you, he just has to believe and trust you

ThePlantsitter · 20/08/2020 22:25

You can't. Get cross not desperate. This wasn't your fault.

hastingsmua1 · 20/08/2020 22:25

Oh, that makes more sense.

Just out of interest, did you accidentally click on his Facebook/messenger or FaceTime? Because that might be enough to clear unread notifications, which is how he may have narrowed it down to those specific apps being “accessed”

AnyFucker · 20/08/2020 22:26

Guilty conscience

chickenyhead · 20/08/2020 22:28

definitely he has something to hide

I would want to now look for whatever it is

Ariela · 20/08/2020 22:29

The other device, surely, is your phone?!

What has he got to hide anyway?

Ariela · 20/08/2020 22:30

I bet you he has it set up such that when his phone connects to the laptop it automatically signs in as his FB.

footprintsintheslow · 20/08/2020 22:36

This would make me want to do some snooping to be honest.

84claire84 · 20/08/2020 22:50

I would be certain he's hiding something with that reaction.

My OH would give a shit if I accidentally went on anything of his, that's because he has nothing to hide.

Keep your eyes peeled, I'm sure you'll find something

Original poster
Donenothingwrong · 20/08/2020 22:55

I definitely didnt click on anything accidently, he shuts everything down when its not being used, not because he has anything to hide but because the mac is mainly used for work & it's his companies policy to keep everything closed & password protected. Idk how he thinks I would ever access anything even if I wanted to

I'm sure this will cause an argument in the morning as I cant get the lack of trust issue out of my head

OP posts:
Notapheasantplucker · 20/08/2020 23:04

Just because he's wfh, doesn't mean he's not up to something though..

He could be on adult sites?

I think his reaction is dodgy.

jessstan2 · 20/08/2020 23:04

He sounds guilty to me.