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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husband accused me of hacking his pc

56 replies

Donenothingwrong · 20/08/2020 22:03

Hi I'm new, this is my first post. I need to vent & I need to know is he being unreasonable?

Late last night I was transferring photos from my phone onto his PC to store them safe as my phone memory is full. Hubby had to help with this as I'm totally useless with anything technical. I only transferred photos, nothing else whatsoever. He went to bed early & I spent another 15 mins approx on the PC. For some reason he's waited until tonight to tell me he thinks I've "hacked in" to things on his PC as he woke up to a message on his iPad saying "another device has been used to access ......." he was angry & blatantly accused me of snooping. I'm shocked, upset & cant believe this. I would never snoop around - wouldn't even think of doing it anyway & even if I wanted to I dont know his passwords. We've been together for 15 years & he should know how honest I am I'm so shocked!!

I've told him to investigate more as he's had fraud happen before & maybe someone has hacked in but he insists it must have been done on his pc so basically I'm the one who's done it because I was the only person awake after him (kids were asleep)

I understand this is a coincidence but I'm gutted he's accusing me when I've sworn on my life I've done nothing!! AIBU to feel so upset & untrusted?

OP posts:
cherryblossommorningstoday · 20/08/2020 23:15

I also think guilty.

He can do what he wants on his machine. The keeping it closed and password protected because of work sounds like a huge excuse to lock you out.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/08/2020 23:19

I would be asking him why he's so paranoid. What is it exactly that he's so concerned you've discovered? Dodgy as fuck.

GeorgiaGirl52 · 20/08/2020 23:59

I charge my phone using the a port on the computer stack. That message comes up every single time I plug it in. If you plugged in your phone to transfer, then the message will appear. Suggest your DH talk to an IT expert and learn how his computer works.

ConquestEmpireHungerPlague · 21/08/2020 00:00

Sounds like a guilty conscience to me.

HelenUrth · 21/08/2020 00:10

So you're so unfamiliar with technical stuff that you need his help to transfer photos, yet he thinks in 15 minutes you developed enough expertise to hack into more than one social media account?

AuntyPasta · 21/08/2020 00:31

I really wouldn’t like that reaction. FB, messenger & facetime? I’m with AnyFucker

TitsOutForHarambe · 21/08/2020 00:35

I know you said he's home a lot but it really does sound like he has something to hide...

Poptart4 · 21/08/2020 00:59

You sound very naive op.

You might completely trust him but it's clear he doesn't trust you.

If he has nothing to hide he wouldn't be so upset.

Dont let him twist this back on you. You've done nothing wrong. Stand up for yourself.

Chloemol · 21/08/2020 01:10

Go to google, type in about the message. It will tell you that it’s simply because an unknown device ,ie your phone, has linked to the Apple Mac

CustardySergeant · 21/08/2020 01:55

The message was because you connected your phone to the PC to transfer the photos. That's all.

CustardySergeant · 21/08/2020 01:56

Sorry Apple Mac not PC, but the same applies.

MrsTerryPratchett · 21/08/2020 02:03

He's doing something.

Trust is great. Willful stupidity isn't.

It's OK though. Come back in two or three years and tell us we're right.

TheNestedIf · 21/08/2020 03:01

" it's his companies policy to keep everything closed & password protected"

He's using a work laptop for this and he has had an alert come up regarding other devices accessing it?

That will be why he's panicking and angry. That could get him the sack.

HelloBolloxMyOldFriend · 21/08/2020 03:26

@HelenUrth

So you're so unfamiliar with technical stuff that you need his help to transfer photos, yet he thinks in 15 minutes you developed enough expertise to hack into more than one social media account?
That's what I thought too.

I'd watch him a bit more closely. It's hopefully nothing but could be something, as his reaction is over the top.

CorianderLord · 21/08/2020 05:04

Sounds like you're both totally computer illiterate and need to catch up with the world

Yeahnahmum · 21/08/2020 05:21

Sounds like he has something to hide. Why else overract so much 🤔

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 21/08/2020 05:31

He's using a mac for work? Hmm

rwalker · 21/08/2020 06:00

Nothing to hide but I would like it I would feel like been checked up on and massive invasion of privacy.

nettie434 · 21/08/2020 06:03

As others have said, it's the standard message you get when you connect up an Apple device to something else. I can't comment on whether there is anything he wouldn't have wanted you to see but he shouldn't have assumed you had hacked anything.

Frequency · 21/08/2020 06:18

All of our engineers use Macs. I assume they run some kind of software or design program that PCs cannot run. As much as I despise Macs they do have their uses although none of those uses are useful enough to prompt me to invest the kind of money Apple demands into one. In the unlikely event I absolutely needed a mac program and Windows had no viable alternative I would run hackintosh on a Windows PC.

Op, that message is pretty standard. I get it all the time when a new device connects to my Google account. It's your phone from when you transferred the photos. It doesnt normally, at least on Windows/android/Google, tell you what was accessed. It just gives the time, date, location and device name. The device name will match your phone.

He could be panicking about breaching his works security policy but if he's allowed to store personal photos on his work computer I doubt they'd be bothered about a phone being linked.

I'm guessing he's making it up about Faceache/messenger and was trying to prompt a reaction from you to check if you'd seen something you shouldn't have. I'd be pissed OP, not just at the lack of trust he has in you but at the amount of secrecy he has over Facebook and messenger.

Deux · 21/08/2020 06:33

Did you use iTunes to transfer the photos? I’m just wondering if iTunes tried to back up or sync your FB etc onto his PC.

ScubaSteven · 21/08/2020 08:18

I wouldn't trust my husband at all if that's how he reacted to something like that. He's hiding something.

TheNestedIf · 21/08/2020 09:05

He's using a mac for work? Hmm

It's not only perverts who lurk down dark alleyways that require a dirty mac for work.

It's perverts in IT, too.

Willowblue40 · 21/08/2020 09:19

@Donenothingwrong that notification comes up when you connect a device (I.e your phone) to his computer. It literally just told him you connected your phone to it which he helped you do!.... he’s made himself look a prize Pratt and questioned your character... I’d be livid! Tell him to google what that notification means and watch him backtrack massively!

Lougle · 21/08/2020 09:26

I think he's panicked about the work security policy, personally. If he's stressed about work and struggling to juggle it all, it's perfectly possible that he has just overreacted to the message on his computer.