Husband accused me of hacking his pc

[Donenothingwrong]

Hi I'm new, this is my first post. I need to vent & I need to know is he being unreasonable?

Late last night I was transferring photos from my phone onto his PC to store them safe as my phone memory is full. Hubby had to help with this as I'm totally useless with anything technical. I only transferred photos, nothing else whatsoever. He went to bed early & I spent another 15 mins approx on the PC. For some reason he's waited until tonight to tell me he thinks I've "hacked in" to things on his PC as he woke up to a message on his iPad saying "another device has been used to access ......." he was angry & blatantly accused me of snooping. I'm shocked, upset & cant believe this. I would never snoop around - wouldn't even think of doing it anyway & even if I wanted to I dont know his passwords. We've been together for 15 years & he should know how honest I am I'm so shocked!!

I've told him to investigate more as he's had fraud happen before & maybe someone has hacked in but he insists it must have been done on his pc so basically I'm the one who's done it because I was the only person awake after him (kids were asleep)

I understand this is a coincidence but I'm gutted he's accusing me when I've sworn on my life I've done nothing!! AIBU to feel so upset & untrusted?

If he has used fb messenger and facetime on the mac before then it wouldn't alert him. It would have to be a new device to trigger an alert. It makes no sense why he has jumped to that conclusion.

That’s probably because your phone was attached? ...when I log in to my Apple ID from the computer (that I always use) I sometimes get an email saying there was unusual activity & someone trying to log in from London (I live in Ireland), I asked Apple and it is just me logging in but the info isn’t accurate. They told me not to worry.

Also could be a scam email inviting him to click on something & reveal his password? I’ve seen this also

Also strange behaviour for him 🤔 I would be upset & suspicious

I can see both sides here. I don't blame you for feeling angry because of this.

Also, sometimes things don't really make sense and the only rational explanation may end up being false but it's all he's got for now: you were the last known person on the computer.

It doesn't automatically mean he's hiding something or doesn't trust/know you but he's trying to work out how in the hell his accounts were accessed just after you used the pc.

Any modern, up to date device (not just apple mac, iphone) registered with an account will send a security notification when you sign into your account from a different device or when a different email address or something is used on the device. It's a normal security protection. Even Facebook will lock you out of your account temporarily till you put a code sent to your registered email, if you try to sign in from a different device.

I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for this (I've had 3 different times when something like this happened to me and at the time, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why, how and what happened). If someone else had used my computer, whether I think they could do so or not, that would have been the only logical explanation till it made more sense.

Tell him his paranoia is making you wonder what he's hiding. Get annoyed with him, not grovel at his feet because he doesn't believe you for something ridiculous.

I had this and discovered it was the setting I put on to alert me on apple , and was nothing sinister , it was just because you were connected to the PC putting the photos on . But what is he hiding ?

In the nicest possible way, give your head a wobble OP.

He has accused you of snooping, lying and being dishonest. Despite a perfectly good reason existing. He's given you a week to apologise. What happens if you don't. Will you get put on the naughty step, given a time out, have your pocket money stopped?

I would be offended that he thought so little of me, furious that he treated me in such a patronising way and generally pissed off about the whole thing.

He needs to have a think about how he's handled this and you should ask yourself why he is so affronted at the thought of you seeing his fb/messenger. The fact his passwords are hidden from his wife of 15years also speaks volumes.

Time to get angry and expect better treatment from your DH.