To ask the mask police to please PLEASE stop

[PennyDreadfuI]

Another mask thread but I'm not going to apologise because I'm absolutely at the end of my tether with this sort of thing.

I can't wear a mask because I have trigeminal neuralgia and I've lost count of the stares, comments and filthy looks I've had (and yes, I do wear a lanyard, even though I'm not keen on advertising the fact that I have a hidden health condition). I've heard of people not being allowed on buses, being challenged by staff to explain their reason for exemption and being told they can't enter shops despite being exempt (none of which is legal). I've been told I should wear a visor (I can't, and they're next to useless anyway - Scotland have just banned them unless they're worn with a mask), that I should just stay at home (I can't and neither do government guidelines suggest I should), that I shouldn't use buses (I don't drive and can't walk long distances or cycle because I have inflammatory arthritis) and that I'm selfish (I'm not - if I could wear a mask, I would).

I understand this is a contentious issue but please, can people just think for a minute before they judge or comment? Exemptions are there for a reason - those who are sticklers for The Rules should surely accept and respect this one, too. It's awful that people are too scared to go out for fear of what's essentially discrimination.

The pandemic is bad enough by itself - let's not lose our sense of empathy and humanity, too.

I also think that people with visible disabilities have had to put up with being stared at long before Covid or mask wearing became a thing. People with invisible disabilities have faced judgement too for sitting in disabled seats on the bus or using accessible toilets. I'm willing to bet some of the people now on the receiving end of this have in the past been guilty of doing it.

I can't walk downstairs properly and the number of times I've had people push past me or tut loudly or make some comment because I'm holding them up. I dread travelling on my own now and only really do it if my dh is there to provide a human barrier. Never had another member of the public stick up for me. Where are all the threads on MN criticising people who stare at those with a disability? Apparently it's only people who aren't wearing masks who have rights that need defending. Everyone else just needs to put up with being treated like dirt.

I am exempt. The reasons why I'm exempt and can't wear a mask are nobody's business. I would tell a police officer if they asked, not some randomer in Asda.

I do wear a plastic face shield though - I know they are useless in terms of virus transmission. But they protect me from the covid-stasi which is more important.

@trappedsincesundaymorn

People not wearing masks and not SD are a higher risk. You say if I see someone not wearing a mask I should act accordingly. By doing what exactly

Oh I don't know....maybe keeping your distance. The same as you would expect those not wearing masks to do for you, it's not rocket science.

But this is my point. I can't always keep my distance when I'm working. If I need to pack customers bags I invariably get people leaning right next to me to move things around or put something else in, I get people leaning into me to put their money into my hand rather than putting it down onto the counter and stepping back, I get people who need help with getting money out of their purse leaning towards me - I can't do my job and stay two metres away at all times. Same if I'm.on a bus or a train - I can't be two metres away from the person sitting next to me and there might not be an alternative seat for me to move to. I don't see why in these circumstances it's my responsibility to move. That really should be on the non mask wearer to be vigilant and do everything possible to mitigate the risk to other people, so put money down on the counter rather than lean right towards the cashier, if you want bags packed then step right back don't hover over the cashier etc

Haven’t read the whole thread but I will say what I tend to think/say when I see these threads:

I genuinely don’t see how people can have the energy within them to be so angry at someone who isn’t wearing a mask. I find it bizarre that people can get so wound up by it.

When I see people without masks I don’t even waste a second getting stressed about it, it wouldn’t even occur to me to be angry. I assume they have a reason for it and just get on with my day.

I understand why vulnerable people may be anxious about being near non mask wearers but the answer is to just stay 2m away from them and get on with your life, not get yourself all het up and start shaming and blaming.

I understand why vulnerable people may be anxious about being near non mask wearers but the answer is to just stay 2m away from them and get on with your life, not get yourself all het up and start shaming and blaming

Not always possible. How about non mask wearers take the responsibility for staying two metres away from others? Why is it down to other people to take avoiding action when due to their job it might not be possible?

How about non mask wearers take the responsibility for staying two metres away from others? Why is it down to other people to take avoiding action when due to their job it might not be possible?

To be honest that just sounds nasty towards people with hidden disabilities. I’m a nurse, working with patients with respiratory conditions and suspected Covid, I come across numerous people every day who don’t wear masks and I still don’t get het up about it.

"Where are all the threads on MN criticising people who stare at those with a disability?"

There have been plenty. Lots of those who cannot wear a mask have disabilities where they get stared at.

"yet you can’t travel in a car unless you wear a seat belt"

There are ways around that for people who cannot keep the seat belt on, specialist car seats etc. There is no way of keeping a mask on someone who continually pulls it off and then becomes distressed and attacks themselves and others.

There are exemptions for people who can’t wear seatbelts.

Haven't read the whole thread, but sorry you have TN, I was diagnosed with it though I haven't actually got it, and it's an absolutely horrible condition. It must be so frustrating and upsetting for you. I also wish the mask police would shut up, life is often hard enough already for people with conditions that make mask wearing difficult without people making things unnecessarily harder.

But this is my point. I can't always keep my distance when I'm working. If I need to pack customers bags I invariably get people leaning right next to me to move things around or put something else in, I get people leaning into me to put their money into my hand rather than putting it down onto the counter and stepping back, I get people who need help with getting money out of their purse leaning towards me - I can't do my job and stay two metres away at all times. Same if I'm.on a bus or a train - I can't be two metres away from the person sitting next to me and there might not be an alternative seat for me to move to. I don't see why in these circumstances it's my responsibility to move. That really should be on the non mask wearer to be vigilant and do everything possible to mitigate the risk to other people, so put money down on the counter rather than lean right towards the cashier, if you want bags packed then step right back don't hover over the cashier etc

If you don't like it then tell them politely to move away, not lean over, put money down etc. As for the bus thing I thought that there was some sort of social distancing and limited number of passengers to ensure that nobody is near you, although having no access to buses due to where I live I wouldn't know.

As I said, OH is exempt from wearing a mask but there are people both in RL and on MN who are selfish enough to believe that their life and health is more important than his. They feel they have the right to judge, comment and openly abuse him and the many others that cannot wear a mask and that is shameful.

@Glitteryone

My friend has TN and wears a mask.

My family member has COPD and wears a mask.

I have asthma and wear a mask.

I think some of the excuses for not wearing a mask are just exactly that - an excuse.

I went to bed early last night and have woken up to all your comments which I've just read with my coffee

@Glitteryone I'm glad all of you are able to wear masks and thank you for doing so. However please understand that the way your condition affects you is not the same way by affects someone else. Lots of people with TN can wear a mask and in fact they find it helps to protect against wind which is a common trigger. It's not one of mine but any pressure/touch to my face is. My consultant has said that it's perfectly acceptable for me not to wear a mask so I'll follow his advice, knowing that if I'm stopped by someone in authority (like a police officer, not Clive on the number 11 bus) I can refer them to him.

@Viviennemary no, I can't stay in. The law doesn't require me to and I have to go to work.

@nether please can you link me to where in the government guidelines it states that certain places are closed to those who are unable to wear masks? Because as far as I'm aware it doesn't say that anywhere.

To everyone saying that those who are exempt should be scrupulous about 2m social distancing - aren't we all doing that anyway? If you're vulnerable, surely you do that whether someone is wearing a mask or not?

Thank you to everyone who's been supportive. And to everyone who's suffering TN, you have my utmost sympathy. It's shit isn't it

In a situation where one person has a mask on and the other doesn’t - both should ensure social distancing. Not just the person with out the mask.

@Noneformethanks absolutely, but anxiety isn’t one of those exceptions.

@StepAwayFromGoogle

Just wear a lanyard, no? I do a double-take when I see someone without a mask now but see the lanyard and think 'ah, there you go'. I'm afraid that in times of a global pandemic when hundreds of thousands of people have died, you do need to advertise your exemption. Nobody has the right to ask WHY you're exempt of course. I was at a wildlife park the other day and you had to wear a mask for indoor enclosures. Family of seven, teenagers with Mum and Dad, and not one was wearing a mask. No lanyards. Now, it's possible that every single one of them had a condition that meant they couldn't wear a mask. Or alternatively they could just not think the rules apply to them and not give a shit about anyone else. Every single person on this thread knows that there are people up and down the country doing that. Not everyone not wearing a mask is medically exempt. I HATE wearing a mask - it's uncomfortable and it makes me feel claustrophobic and panicky but I do it anyway. Unless you can't, you should.

As I said in my OP I do wear a lanyard. I still get abuse.

If you don't like it then tell them politely to move away, not lean over, put money down etc.

People are complaining that they are being looked at, eyebrows being raised - are they really going to accept being asked to step back or have someone get up and change seats on a train? I find it hard to believe.

To be honest that just sounds nasty towards people with hidden disabilities

Not at all. I have a hidden disability. I'm used to changing my behaviour so that I don't impact other people, I really don't see why this is any different. I struggle walking downstairs so I step back and wait until everyone else has gone before I go down. I don't get there first and then hold up a train full of passengers by blocking the staircase as I limp down. From this thread though I'm seeing that I'm wrong for doing that. I should just take my time, not worry about anyone else and then come here for sympathy when people tut at me

To everyone saying that those who are exempt should be scrupulous about 2m social distancing - aren't we all doing that anyway? If you're vulnerable, surely you do that whether someone is wearing a mask or not

No, everyone isn't doing that at all

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras bus drivers don't wear masks which means that surely you can't get on a bus at all, by your rationale?

Ditto most shop staff. Can you not go into shops either?

If some sits too close to me, I move.

All i can control is my own action.

I can’t control anyone else.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

To everyone saying that those who are exempt should be scrupulous about 2m social distancing - aren't we all doing that anyway? If you're vulnerable, surely you do that whether someone is wearing a mask or not

No, everyone isn't doing that at all

Well, I am, and I have never stopped doing so. I've noticed that those wearing masks are all too happy to push past me in shops and reach right past me to get stuff of shelves - ironically often while glaring at me.

I’ve not read the whole thread but 1. Why should people who have health conditions have to advertise them? 2. People should mind their own fucking business. This pandemic has really brought out a lot of bargain basement wanna be stasi type officers 🙄

"Noneformethanks absolutely, but anxiety isn’t one of those exceptions."

Only in very rare circumstances would wearing a seat belt cause anxiety whereas a mask is more likely to. The two are not comparable.

I should say deserve a punch in the sense of theoretically as he was being an arsehole, not to actually be punched/knocked out.

My point was in a very clumsy way that that situation shouldnt have happened at all.
The guy who was knocked out shouldnt have been aggressive to staff and demanding to know why its not his business and not his place

I have TN and wear a mask on my fortnightly supermarket trip and I’m just avoiding all other shops unless so small I can see whose in there and whether they are masked. With so many non mask wearers it’s a risk I won’t take unless I absolutely have to.

It’s the lesser of two evils. Even the thought of the oxygen mask I’d need if I caught Covid and needed hospital treatment is bad enough.

Tbh as much as I feel for anyone that struggles with wearing a mask, there does seem to be people that will use the most minimal excuse to not wear one. Other countries manage to enforce this without any issue. By not wearing a mask not only are you at risk but so are other people around you. Saying it's unfair to stop people going to the shops that Have disabilities etc is also ridiculous. We are being told to wear masks due to a virus that can kill you. Not because somebody woke up one morning and thought' I know what would be a laugh let's make the whole of the UK wear masks for no reason other than to discriminate against people that can't wear them.' The situation is shit for a lot of people but it is not something that you can blame on a government or a group of people. The ones that complain to others not complying are probably just as scared as everyone else. For all you know they have a friend or relative that is extremely vulnerable, they themselves could be. It's a hard situation but we all just have to do our part to get through this as soon as possible the less people wearing masks the longer they are going to be required as the level of virus won't be able to deplete as fast as everyone wants it to.