Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

GCSEs party tomorrow evening at friend’s house

96 replies

Italianmoma1983 · 19/08/2020 09:40

My dc is going to a GCSEs party tomorrow to one of her friend. She asked us if she could take some fizz there and we said yes as long as the parents hosting are ok with it and that they will also be present at the party. We are going to chat to the parents today to check that everything is ok with them. We are also going to talk about alcohol and safety again with our dc.

Dc has another friend that would be going to the party whom I know the mum. I don’t think dc’s friend is going to tell her mum that there will be alcohol at the party because she is really strict. My dc assured me that he friend wouldn’t be drinking. I want to tell the mum (who is a new friend of mine) that there will be alcohol at the party but dc exploded with anger telling me not to say a thing to the mum, dh thinks the same. I feel uneasy keeping it secret - although maybe the mum is not naive will know that there will be alcohol at that party ?

YANBU - say something
YANU - mind your business

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 19/08/2020 10:52

God, I bet you could quote chapter and verse on the rules couldn't you.

Is that supposed to be an insult? What’s wrong with knowing the rules? It’s important.

PhilCornwall1 · 19/08/2020 10:55

Rules of the road, maybe?

They are very much rules that need to be known and ones I know very well.

Good view up there on your horse?

jcoc147 · 19/08/2020 10:58

I would not say anything to the other parent as i would see it as up to them to check with the hosting family on what would be allowed.
My son will be doing something similar with a small group of friends.

I find it amazing that in theory they could attend a wedding of 30 people but not a gathering with friends of over 6!! And as others have said they will be mixing in large groups when they return to 6 form in a few weeks.

Hope your daughter gets the grades she deserves and has fun celebrating 😊

HowFastIsTooFast · 19/08/2020 11:02

@bobbiester

gov.uk says...

1.3 What should I still avoid doing?

It remains the case that you should not:

- socialise indoors in groups of more than two households (anyone in your support bubble counts as one household) – this includes when dining out or going to the pub

Oh if only you'd scrolled a BIT further down...

^1.3 What should I still avoid doing?
It remains the case that you should not:

socialise indoors in groups of more than two households (anyone in your support bubble counts as one household) – this includes when dining out or going to the pub
socialise outdoors in a group of more than six people from different households; gatherings larger than six should only take place if everyone is from exclusively from two households or support bubbles^

Where please has the OP said that this meeting of 6 teens will be indoors? And even if it is, they'll all be mixing at sixth form or college in a couple of weeks anyway. Does it really matter?

MintyMabel · 19/08/2020 11:06

Mine wouldn’t be having alcohol at sixteen so I would be cross if other parents supplied it but neither would they be mixing like that during a pandemic.

You sound fun.

And if you believe that you’ll believe anything. Where do you think it’s more likely they caught it - at a party for a couple off hours with, at most - what - 30 others? Or in school all day with 1000+. I knew this would happen. Infections start as soon S as schools reopen in Scotland, but the clever, clever virus didn’t spread itself there, but at a party.

Exactly. She’s spent weeks telling everyone that any school cases around the world were community spread. There is no way she would admit there is a problem with spread in schools. She will also do anything to avoid closing schools.

dwiz8 · 19/08/2020 11:10

@PurpleDaisies

The OPs child as described on this thread is not breaking any rules at this party

Unless I’ve missed it, the party is not outside. Six people from different households are not allowed to meet inside.

How do you know it's not outside?
maleficent53 · 19/08/2020 11:15

Say nothing. Good luck to them all hope they have a great time. They have already missed out on so much I think they need to have some fun

00100001 · 19/08/2020 11:17

[quote ineedaholidaynow]@00100001 as a school governor if I have to be part of a discussion whether to close my school due to some children having a party which will then inconvenience many people who will undoubtedly moan at me, then I may become a miserable twat.[/quote]
Good for you.

But I'm still allowed to have a party, Sonia OPs DD

00100001 · 19/08/2020 11:20

So is*

Even if the party is indoors...I don't think it will be a higher risk than her household meeting with her friend's household and then pootling off to the pub for dinner to celebrate, with 40 other families 🤷‍♀️

ineedaholidaynow · 19/08/2020 11:21

@MintyMabel I am very aware of the magic walls schools have that stop the transmission of the virus, schools in England seem to have them too!

HasaDigaEebowai · 19/08/2020 11:22

But I'm still allowed to have a party

Well no you're not actually. Unless its outdoors and limited to six people. But if your'e the OP's DD (which is what I think you're saying in your last post) then you're 16 ish and should perhaps be forgiven your immature and irresponsible attitude.

HasaDigaEebowai · 19/08/2020 11:23

Ah,0010001 I see you've updated your post and you're not the OP's DD. Then you're just irresponsible

cardibach · 19/08/2020 11:24

@PhilCornwall1

Rules of the road, maybe?

They are very much rules that need to be known and ones I know very well.

Good view up there on your horse?

Not a high horse situation. Both are rules we all follow to keep each other safe. Why do you follow one set without question and think it’s very clever to ignore the other? How would you feel about someone who did the same, but reversed it so they followed pandemic rules but laughed at/scorned people for following the rules of the road?
BarefootHippieChick · 19/08/2020 11:25

YANU.
It's not your job to police other peoples kids. In my experience most teenagers start having alcohol at parties and gatherings from year 10 onwards and I think any parent who doesn't think there's a possibility of alcohol being involved is quite naive.

RigaBalsam · 19/08/2020 11:26

We have been told not to tell pupils their CAGs under threat of discipline.

Wonder why some schools are telling their pupils.

...Missing point of the thread.

cardibach · 19/08/2020 11:27

Exactly. She’s spent weeks telling everyone that any school cases around the world were community spread. There is no way she would admit there is a problem with spread in schools. She will also do anything to avoid closing schools
@MintyMabel while this is about Scotland so the ‘she’ is relevant, it’s also true of both England and Wales. Not sure about NI. The governments are constantly pushing the message that teenagers can’t pass it very well so schools are safe. Except suddenly they can pass it to all and sundry at a short party... 🤔

Frazzled13 · 19/08/2020 11:28

I wouldn't tell the other parent, however if she happened to ask me outright something like "do you know if there'll be alcohol there" I wouldn't tell a flat out lie.

00100001 · 19/08/2020 11:29

@HasaDigaEebowai

But I'm still allowed to have a party

Well no you're not actually. Unless its outdoors and limited to six people. But if your'e the OP's DD (which is what I think you're saying in your last post) then you're 16 ish and should perhaps be forgiven your immature and irresponsible attitude.

"Well no you're not actually. Unless its outdoors and limited to six people"

So...I am allowed to have a fucking party then.

00100001 · 19/08/2020 11:30

@HasaDigaEebowai

Ah,0010001 I see you've updated your post and you're not the OP's DD. Then you're just irresponsible
Why? For having a party within the rules??

What is irresponsible about that? Please do tell me.

Evasmissingletter · 19/08/2020 11:31

Your daughter felt she could talk to you openly about alcohol. Don’t loose her trust by speaking to the other mum.

BarefootHippieChick · 19/08/2020 11:32

Also OP said there will only be 6 kids there, it's not a fucking rave. In two weeks my dc will be back at school in bubbles of approximately 150 🙄

motherrunner · 19/08/2020 11:35

@RigaBalsam

We have been told not to tell pupils their CAGs under threat of discipline.

Wonder why some schools are telling their pupils.

...Missing point of the thread.

Ha ha! That’s what I picked up on too. I’m a teacher and we weren’t allowed to tell our pupils their CAGs. They may try and ‘guess’ based on Likely Grades published through our the year but like the UCAS predictions (aspirational) and CAGs there will be some differences.
Graciebobcat · 19/08/2020 11:43

I wouldn't say anything and just assume she was as capable of communicating with her daughter as you are with your DD.

I know DD's friends' mums would always message the other parents first though if there is anything which might be slightly controversial. I don't think it would just be taken as read that alcohol was ok if they were all 16.

malificent7 · 19/08/2020 11:47

Meh...it carries very little risk both in a corona sense and stomach pumping sense. Hope they enjoy.

malificent7 · 19/08/2020 11:48

And anyone that thinks 16 year olds don't drink is in denial.

Swipe left for the next trending thread