If you are overweight, what, in your opinion, made you that way?

[SistemaAddict]

There's been lots of threads recently about weight inspired by the government trying to crack down on obesity yet encouraging us to eat out and posters bemoaning the lockdown lard/pandemic pounds. There has been lots of discussion about the causes of obesity or being overweight due to societal and financial factors but I wanted to ask what posters think made them either overweight or obese because reasons will vary. Certain medications and conditions can cause weight gain and/or make it harder to lose weight and the peri-menopause/menopause doesn't help.

I stopped breastfeeding a year ago and my appetite didn't return to normal after stopping so I gained weight. Then my asthma was bad from October onwards and my ability to go on bike rides was limited. Then lockdown and shielding and my 5 mile school hike up and down big hills went out of the window and I ate too many biscuits and chocolate and would eat in the evening while reading or watching tv. I gained around a stone and that took me into the overweight category.

In June I decided enough was enough and started 16:8 and limited myself to around 1250 calories a day. I bought a fitbit and started using my fitness pal. Both encouraged me to go on walks with the dc and to take more trips up and down the stairs than were necessary to meet my target of 25 flights a day. I stopped eating after dinner, watched my portion sizes and cut out most of the junk I was eating. I'm now a normal weight with a BMI of 24. I'm carrying on with my healthier lifestyle and improved habits but it's hard especially in the evenings when I want chocolate. My aim is to get to a BMI of 23 as that is where I look and feel best.

I don't want this to be a judgemental thread, or for anyone to fat shame posters, I just wanted to share my own reasons for weight gain and ask others' experiences because it's a very individual thing beyond "too many calories in vs calories out" and it can be very complex.

Perhaps i can come at this from another direction from someone who has never put on weight.Ok im petite,4 11 but ive never weighed more than 7 stone in my life.I just stay that way.No real idea why.I drink alcohol,only wine though

.However i dont eat biscuits,cakes or pastry.My body shape has changed slightly eg my stomach not as flat as in my youth and my boobs have gone up couple cup sizes but thats probably because im taking tamoxifen to stop breast cancer coming back. I was on HRT for years which i was told caused it.But im still a 6/8 .Looking at old school photos i was tiniest girl in class,maybe its just my nature.My mum was slim but my dad who i mostly resemble was stockily built.

Nearly everyone i know as got older has got bigger,and sometimes i feel people think i must be on a permanent diet,its "how do you manage to stay so slim" i get.I walk a lot,i dont drive,but never go near a gym and have never dieted in my life. Maybe it because my diet doesent include what i said,no idea.I wish i could market whatever it is,id be a rich womanlol.so you could follow what i said and give my rules ago.

not really overweight but always trying to lose a few lbs. I always put it down to not needing as much to run my body as other people. To lose weight I need to have less than 1000 cals and stay that way. If I eat 2500 I will gain. Unfortunately there are people that remain skinny despite eating everything and I am always on the bigger side of average for not over consuming. I would love to find out why if anyone ever does a study!

I think this thread illustrates that society is not the issue at all but that weight is a psychological issue rooted in dysfunctional and/or abusive childhoods, and/or sexual assault as a young adult that is then confounded by abusive adult relationships. Available food does play a part as does lifestyle but what we eat and what exercise we do and lifestyle we lead has a certain amount of choice for most people unless they are physically or financially restricted. Some people will need help to make the right choices but what they really need is years of therapy to help them realise that they are enough, that their childhood or later abuse was not their fault, that food is not love, that they are loveable and valued for who they are not what they weigh or what they look like and to learn to love and respect themselves and their bodies. Unfortunately the NHS will never have the funds to provide the level of services needed.

think this thread illustrates that society is not the issue at all but that weight is a psychological issue rooted in dysfunctional and/or abusive childhoods, and/or sexual assault as a young adult that is then confounded by abusive adult relationships
For one, we can't assume MNers represent society and for 2, this doesn't make sense as childhood abuse is certainly less prevalent nowadays than it was during 2 generations ago and clearly, they managed their weight.

The reason is very simple, we are a spoilt society and as such, we have grown up learning that we should prioritise what makes us happy over responsible actions. We have been taught and are teaching our kids that there is no pride in delayed gratification and our abiry to say no, willpower and resilience is weak.

Sadly, by trying to be best parents and give us what they didn't have, our parents have made us weak and we continue to do the same with our children.

People have always been traumatised by abuse, especially women, but I think the reason that translates more into weight issues now is the availability of cheap, high calories and very addictive food. So it’s both personal and societal.

Historically there were overweight and obese people - but far fewer as not many people could afford excess food.

@dontdisturbmenow

think this thread illustrates that society is not the issue at all but that weight is a psychological issue rooted in dysfunctional and/or abusive childhoods, and/or sexual assault as a young adult that is then confounded by abusive adult relationships For one, we can't assume MNers represent society and for 2, this doesn't make sense as childhood abuse is certainly less prevalent nowadays than it was during 2 generations ago and clearly, they managed their weight.

The reason is very simple, we are a spoilt society and as such, we have grown up learning that we should prioritise what makes us happy over responsible actions. We have been taught and are teaching our kids that there is no pride in delayed gratification and our abiry to say no, willpower and resilience is weak.

Sadly, by trying to be best parents and give us what they didn't have, our parents have made us weak and we continue to do the same with our children.

@Bercows, in that case, how do you explain

• the rise of childhood obesity
• the rise of obesity in itself
• the variation in obesity levels from one country to the next

Are you saying that People in the U.K. are more abused than people in france?
Or that children experience more trauma nowadays than 20 years ago????

Seriously, this is also going against all scientific evidence that shows that people are putting weight in when they eat too much but than many other factors are involved (genes, gut flora, stress etc etc etc)
(Note stress as in normal stresses in life, not the trauma and abuse you are referring to)

Sorry post wasn’t for the right poster....

Sorry, I meant to add that for the posters in this thread. I'm not saying that this applies to everyone who is overweight.

For one, we can't assume MNers represent society and for 2, this doesn't make sense as childhood abuse is certainly less prevalent nowadays than it was during 2 generations ago and clearly, they managed their weight

2 Generations ago didn't need to think about their weight life in general was more active.

Everything from twin tub washing machines, offices with large paper files, get up to go look for stuff, file it away, even changing the telly channel involved a few steps, takeaways were more of an occassional treat but they didn't deliver you had to get it.

Sweets / chocolate bars were comparably more expensive than they are now so people naturally ate less of them.

There is no denying that abuse will impact on people's eating habits but the vast majority of people are not abused so how can this explain the significant increase which affect men as much if not more than women.

Accessibility of convenience food only highlight the fact that we don't put cooking healthy meals as a priority in our lives.

Saying that, meals generations ago were not all that healthy at all in our current standards, but plate sizes were significantly smaller.

Pubs and drinking were more a man's thing too. Mums were at home cooking family meals. Children walked or cycled to school and played out for hours. My childhood from 7-11 was spent climbing trees, riding my bike everywhere, family walks, no devices, no computer games, no tv fur kids except for about 2 hours after school and a Saturday morning. I ate loads of sweets and chocolate as a child, crisps every day, cooked breakfasts, fry ups for dinner. I was skinny. The lifestyle was very different. My dc walk the mile plus to school and I don't drive so we walk more in general. We don't have an Xbox or PlayStation and they prefer being outside playing to being in. I'll never forget an ex's son getting up at 6am and playing mine craft until 9pm. He only moved from the chair to pee and just turned the chair round to watch tv when he had his dinner on his lap. I was stunned.

What I mean is that women drink more now compared to say in the 80s. Sexism frowned upon women drinking beer and pints. Now it's socially acceptable and hundreds of extra empty calories. I'd be interested to read any research into drinking habits and weight comparing a decade like the 80s to now.

I think nowadays we have access to so many delicious things that it's a huge temptation. On the most bog standard high street now you can but Mexican food, sushi, posh burgers, Indian food, noodle bars, coffee shops with delicious cakes. All accessible and affordable.

I was watching a cooking show from the 1970s recently featuring Fanny Craddock. It was fascinating, she was making a cake and describing how the ingredients were slightly pricey but it was worth the sacrifice to have one decent piece of cake a year. Then compare that to now where most of us could afford or pick up a decent piece of cake every day from a coffee shop.

Wellfood like cake, pizza, chips and chocolate are bloody tasty and readily available.
Plus we work long hours so convenience food is easier.
Being fat is bot immoral, food is not immoral. It is less healthy absolutely but being overweight is not a personal failing. I am on a permanent diet and still a stone heavier than id like to be. I work out too. Skinny fat is a problem too.

Not

Lockdown and lots of sandwich lunches and kid friendly meals has definitely contributed to my weight gain.

Women drink more than they used to, but men are still vastly, er, more vast. More overweight men than women.

@malificent7

Agree totally...I often hear people who are slim talk about it as if it's a reflection on their morality or character. It really really isn't. It's like people who naturally enjoy exercise and being active whilst some people hate exercise...the former doesn't make you an intrinsically better person. It's just a preference. Even as a child, I hated exercise and pe...I'd rather have read a book or sat through a maths lesson.

One thing is I haven't actually gained any weight while working from home since March and am a couple of pounds down. This seems an achievement in itself. I've been doing more exercise as I've been less busy doing other things and find it more easy to eat healthily when I'm not commuting.

I was thinking that while watching the 1950s Back in Time for Dinner. It all looked like unseasoned, boiled to death, flavourless crap so no wonder people didn't eat so much.

I'm overweight almost purely down to being alcohol dependant, coupled with comfort eating on my "black hole" depression days..which has been most days this lockdown. Severe anxiety all my life, horrible life experiences, using alcohol to get me through. Have just started to change this, already lost 5 lbs in a week. I'm going to stick to this lifestyle change, and am excited to see how much weight I'll lose and keep off.

@SnuggyBuggy Exactly. Food is much better and more varied now. Another thing is people distracted themselves with a cigarette in the 1950s - both a physical distraction and an appetite suppressant.

No doubt if people took up smoking again en masse obesity levels would fall, but y'know, swings and roundabouts!

I hated PE too. It was the getting changed and picking teams that ruined PE. I love walking and cycling though and always have.

Mine is a combination of things.
Lockdown took away lots of things I enjoyed doing, such as weekends at the beach walking and activities with the family. So to compensate we started ordering more junk food in the food shop and ordering food more.

I also have an active job and without this I have gained weight.

I've decided enough is enough and am now limiting my calorie intake to 1000-1200 to get back to normal. I now have a treadmill so I will make use of that too

Menopause and lockdown mainly! But a week ago I decided to actually do something about it, instead of just thinking about doing something about it... I’m following the keto eating plan (reluctant to call it a diet because they’ve never worked for me and I’m hoping this is a whole new long term way of eating) I’m finding it surprisingly easy considering I’ve cut out cake, biscuits, chocolate, crisps.. all the things I love and have eaten daily forever. But I think I got to the point of being properly ready to change a week ago, after a lot of thinking, and I hadn’t been ready at any time before that. I’ve felt a bit lightheaded at times, but not really hungry and not really craving sugar, which has put me in a mild state of shock... Early days, I know, but I definitely feel this is it! And if I can do it, seriously, anyone can - you just have to get to that point in your own time, find what works for you, and you will know when you’re there...