To have reported myself to the police?

[foreverananxiousmess]

I'll start with I'm a massive anxiety sufferer and get myself into a panic over nothing, so when an actual issue arises I'm always close to crumbling.

On my way home I clipped a car's wing mirror, it pushed my wing mirror in but no damage/scrape. It was a very busy road with cars parked on either side, I clearly misjudged the room I had. It took me a few seconds to realise what the little thump was but I looked in my mirror and I could see the make of the car and that the wing mirror appeared intact. Because it was such a busy road I couldn't pull over, by the time there was space to park, I was already well out of sight of the car and a good walk away. I also had my baby in the car and worried about getting into confrontation with her present (I know I'm a wimp and I made a very poor decision).

I rang 101 as soon as I got home in the hopes that I could pass my details along if anyone reported it, so that it wouldn't be a hit and run. However because I didn't have the reg of the car, they wouldn't take a report and said it wasn't reportable anyway. They advised going back to the scene and leaving a note. The car was pulled over and I think there was someone in it so not likely to still be there, and I can't go back until DH gets home anyway as DD is having her food.

Bottom line is I thought I was doing the right thing by reporting myself but wasn't able to and I'm now panicking that I'll be reported for a hit and run. I know I should have stopped but with the circumstances I just panicked. Any help or advice appreciated, please be kind, I'm already so ashamed and fee guilty.

@foreverananxiousmess there must have been somewhere closer than a 10 minute walk away to park. Surely there were side roads? Having a baby doesn't excuse not stopping and going back.

Just be glad you don’t have to pay for the repair.

I believe your anxiety and I would not be giving you an easy ride if you were a 'hit and run'. But did you? Or did you hear something else and did your anxiety manifest into a major punishable crime?

I do not sense that here. I am not 100% convinced you even hit the car based on what you have posted.

I didn’t particularly want to??
I didn’t particularly want to shell out for a new wing mirror after someone smashed mine as they drove past. But as they didn’t stop either I had no choice.
Rubbish excuses.

As I had my baby with me, I didn't particularly want to drag her around in the rain on a solid 10 minute walk searching for a car that may not even still be there

Then you decided it wasn’t worth the hassle to you. Not sure what the Police were expected to do, this was a job where it should have been claimed on your insurance,

I don’t get the angst, you decided at the time it was too much hassle for you. Just own it.

I completely get the anxiety OP - I'd be similar myself but I still agree you are making excuses.

You just stop when it happens, put on hazards, check the situation. If someone was sitting in the car, you could indicate to them you were going to move off, find a space & come back.

I think calling 101 sounds nuts. I don't think there's anything you can do now, realistically.

Thank you for all of the replies. I understand I made a huge mistake, hence why I'm feeling so awful and tried to resolve it, I have been back to the scene and the car isn't there so there's nothing more I can do. I appreciate that I should have stopped at the time and maybe I am giving excuses but they seemed legitimate to me at the time as I was panicking. If I could go back in time I would but I can't. I've spent the entire evening crying and having panic attacks, not excusing anything or looking for sympathy, it's just fact. For that reason I won't be returning to this post as the responses are making me feel worse. To those who have expressed kindness and understanding, thank you so much. To everyone else, all I can say is you're completely right and I'm filled with regret but I can't resolve it.

Op if you’re still reading are you getting help for your anxiety? This reaction is extreme and concerning. I think it might be worth speaking to your doctor 💐

Mumsnet at its best

I've spent the entire evening crying and having panic attacks, not excusing anything or looking for sympathy, it's just fact.

I'm not seeing it as an excuse - I've direct experience with severe anxiety.

However, I think you need to separate out the two.

You can't do anything about hitting the mirror now - learn from it & move on.

Crying & being so disproportionately affected is not helping in this situation. You need to get help for this, starting with your GP and likely medication initially. It will really help.

Good luck 💐

Be gentle on yourself ❤️ it will feel different tomorrow.

@Bluntness100 I've just recently started anti anxiety medication to combat this issue and to try to prevent my panic attacks. I'm also paying for some counselling. Thank you for your concern, I'm trying my best to get better.

OP don’t worry about it. It’s just a wing mirror. I think everyone’s hit one once... and I would
Of drove of too ... it really doesn’t matter

One kind person did over £1000 of damage to our previous car and didn't even stop - it happened overnight so I didn't see it until the morning.
Me too. And the insurance didn't even pay. Well done OP.

Potter

Really? 😳 you'd have driven off? That's appalling.

I'd never drive off if I felt I'd caused any damage, however slight, to someone's car.

Not me being exceptional, just basic manners. And unfortunately, I have tipped off people's cars over the years & paid for the damage, small or otherwise.

Then don’t stress this one op, honestly it’s just a wing mirror. It’s not a big deal, more an annoyance. Good luck with getting to grips with your anxiety.

OP, please be kind to yourself. This is really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things but I know that you're catastrophising (fellow anxiety sufferer here!)

You made a mistake, you did what you could to make up for it. You're not a terrible person. MN is full of people who just can't wait to "have a go". I'm glad you're seeking help for your anxiety, it's crippling, isn't it?

@Potterpotterpotter I hope someone does the same to your car one day. What a disgusting attitude to have.

@ExclamationPerfume - someone did years And years ago 🤷🏼‍♀️ What goes around comes around.

I’m sure someone will hit mine again one day and il do it again.

@Potterpotterpotter my car has been hit numerous times. I still would always stop and leave my number. You clearly have no morals.

@ExclamationPerfume - good for you.

no morals but more money in my pocket 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP , if it helps , try seeing if you can report it online . I’m a Met officer and I know that you can absolutely do it with us , and I can’t imagine any other force not doing it . The fact that you didn’t have all the details won’t matter . If you could see some of the things I’ve seen reported online ! If you’ve got a rough time and location , then that will probably be enough to put a report in . Give it a go and see if you can. That way you can reassure yourself that you’ve done all you can. Hope this helps .

It was the best I could do at the time.

To not want to leave your details with the owner of a car you hit, or even get the registration number, because you didn’t want your baby to get wet?

No, not the best you could do.

This happened to me last weekend, caught on my dashcam. No damage so I'm not bothered.