Fil return from Spain.

[Fivebyfive2]

So, dh and I have an 8 month ds. His parents separated just before lock down but still live together for now. They have a property in Spain.

A couple of weeks ago fil flew out and is due back Monday. He has already said he will not be self isolating on return! Mil has said she also won't as why should she if she didn't go away? I know it's not required for her to do it, but surely if fil has picked anything up, with them still sharing a house in UK, it would be safer for them both to isolate, just in case? Apparently they won't isolate separately because neither want to temporarily 'give up' the house in the UK.

Am I being unreasonable to say I'd rather have no visits for 2 weeks after fil returns, just to be safe? Or am I being overly cautious? I know the risk to ds is very small, but I'm more worried about me or dh getting something and being ill, having to isolate and having a teething, almost crawling baby to look after!

Tell them you don’t want them round but make sure your partner is the one to deliver the message.

I would just not see them for 14 days.

Are they likely to think YABU/want to see their grandchild? What does DH think?

He legally must isolate but that can be in his house, he mustn't leave except in an emergency, he must stay in his room and (if possible) use a different bathroom. Ideally meals are put outside his bedroom door but guessing no chance with that so he must use the kitchen when she's not using it and bleach surfaces afterwards. The rules do take into account people who share houses, she doesn't need to isolate

@minnieok

He legally must isolate but that can be in his house, he mustn't leave except in an emergency, he must stay in his room and (if possible) use a different bathroom. Ideally meals are put outside his bedroom door but guessing no chance with that so he must use the kitchen when she's not using it and bleach surfaces afterwards. The rules do take into account people who share houses, she doesn't need to isolate

That isn’t accurate. Why not read the guidance in .gov.uk rather than making up your own interpretation and listing it on the internet.

There is guidance on .gov.uk coronavirus hoe to self isolate when you travel to the UK

It is accurate.

@Leeds2, yes things will kick off I / we tell them we won't see them for 2 weeks. They really put pressure on/tried to make us feel like we were being pfb during the full lock down for refusing visits etc. Dh agrees about his, dad but seems unsure about where we stand with his mum.

@minnieok, I know officially she doesn't need to, but my argument is that fil isn't isolating and they are sharing a house as normal, as in eating together, using the same living room, kitchen and bathroom etc so it just feels ridiculous to say she doesn't need to because surely with that set up, of he does have anything, she will be very likely to get it as well??

YANBU FIL should isolate and I would stay clear of MIL just incase. If he doesn't I would be reporting him but I know I will probably be in the minority! Most people seem to be just doing as they please now

@dementedpixie, thank you! I did look on the government site but didn't see this bit.

You see, this is what I mean... If fil was going to isolate and do it properly, then I'd just say we don't see him but that mil could still visit. But as he won't and they'll be just living as housemates as normal, with no measures in place, I feel like we need to have no visits from both?

I wouldn't let them anywhere near. It's their choice to not follow guidelines but it's your choice whether or not you allow your family to get dragged into the poor choices of others.

The standard Mumsnet reaction works here, if they press for a visit - "Sorry, that doesn't work for us".

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-how-to-self-isolate-when-you-travel-to-the-uk/coronavirus-covid-19-how-to-self-isolate-when-you-travel-to-the-uk#how-to-self-isolate-in-your-accommodation

Agree with PP:

The standard Mumsnet reaction works here, if they press for a visit - "Sorry, that doesn't work for us".

When MIL visits does she SD?

I know someone who has just been given a hefty fine for not self isolating after a Spanish holiday. It was a random spot heck.

Check!

@dementedpixie

It is accurate.

No it is not. It does not mention. Bathrooms or bleach. You are writing your own incorrect guidance

My inlaws are going to spain and then returning to live with a 84 yr old. I will not be allowing them near my kids for 2 weeks.

@doodleygirl

I know someone who has just been given a hefty fine for not self isolating after a Spanish holiday. It was a random spot heck.

The only person in the country and you know them.

Your husband needs to tell both of them that you won't be seeing them. He's an antisocial idiot.

Sorry it is now 10 people nationally. The next data is due on the 24th

OK the word bleach is not used but this is also on the .Gov website

If you can:

• stay on your own in one room as much as possible and keep the door closed
• avoid using shared spaces (such as the kitchen) at the same time as other people – eat your meals in your room
• use a separate bathroom - otherwise, use the bathroom after everyone else and clean it each time you use it, for example, by wiping the surfaces you've touched

She doesn't have to isolate at all. He doesn't have to obey all that house arrest in his room malarkey, either. It's suggested, but not a rule and no one checks. Give me a break! We landed with loads of flights from all over. They take in your forms and check them, some people get their bags checked at customs, as always happens, and then you go on your way. There isn't even the manpower to see to day-to-day crime, much less this.

You are perfectly entitled to say you don't want him or either of them around, however.

I would say no visits yet, as you have to do what you feel is right for you and family. It doesn't matter if the people kick off about anything, that's just hard luck.

Thank you, I'm feeling less paranoid about being ott now!

I think I'm going to chat to dh tonight about it again and we'll just tell both of his parents that we'll see them after the 2 weeks is up. If they push it, I'll try to explain why I'm worried and hope they start to get it?? If they still push after that (wouldn't surprise me!) then God knows... I guess I just ignore it?? The evil voice in my head says I could always try reporting it as they'll both be out and about even if they don't see us, but I know I wouldn't do that really!

No it is not. It does not mention. Bathrooms or bleach. You are writing your own incorrect guidance

This is covered in the general "self isolating" guidelines @Polnm and does say that separate bathrooms should be used wherever possible, and if not then it should be cleaned with household detergent and/or bleach