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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People coming into garden and driveway (new build estate)

116 replies

MyUserName77 · 17/08/2020 16:26

Hi
Moved into a new build at the end of last year.
The estate is 'open plan' in that there are no pavements as such, the driveways are at the same level as the roads (no kerbs) and the front gardens are open plan with no hedges/walls, leading straight out onto the road.
We live in a detached house on a corner, it is clear that the area in front of our house is a private driveway, the drives are all monoblocked in a different coloured brick from the road.
There is a detached house next door but because of the design of the estate, our front lawns join together with no division between them (ie it is a large expanse of grass which goes straight across the front of both of our houses), there is no dividing wall or trees etc.
We were told when we moved in that due to 'covenants' we would not be permitted to change the look of the front of the house by building walls or planting hedges etc, so as to keep the estate looking uniform (I suspect at least until work is finished on the estate which might be at least another 2 years). It is clear however, that they own the part in front of their house, and we own the part in front of our house. There is a lamp-post in the road that is exactly halfway between our houses so this is the kind of 'line' that we have always taken to be where our garden ends and theirs begins.
They are having work done in their back garden just now, and have their driveway full of landscaping equipment and materials which is fine, however, it means that the vans/trucks that the builders are using cant be parked in their driveway. For some reason, they have decided to park right in front of our front garden, not in front of the neighbours house? Which now means that the builders are trekking wheelbarrow loads of rubble etc across my front garden in order to be able to get to their truck to dump it! So saving the neighbours front lawn but wrecking mine. There's no reason they can't park 5 metres down in front of the neighbours garden. They've also left tools and equipment on my front lawn and are constantly walking across my front garden in front of my living room window, so much that I've had to shut my blinds.
I am on my own just now and don't feel comfortable going out to talk to them as there are about 6 of them, using very loud and bad language and they are pretty intimidating.
Would I be unreasonable to get my DH to park his car in front of our garden tomorrow instead of the driveway, so that they can't park there for the remainder of the garden work? After only 1 half day of work (in the rain) my front lawn has tracks of wheelbarrow and skid marks all over it. I think they think that because there is no real division of the lawns that they have the right to trek anywhere they want. I have spent a lot of time and effort making my garden look nice and I don't want it ruined.

The builders (not to mention other neighbours in the road) also used our own driveway to reverse into to turn their truck when they left. Other people do it all the time as we are on a kind of corner and they like to reverse into their own drives which means them driving into ours so that they can get turned. When our car is not parked there, they actually reverse right up into our driveway fully to the front of the house! It's very annoying as our driveway is getting a lot of traffic and I'm worried the monoblocking will show wear and tear much sooner than it should due to all the people using it. I don't know how to stop it as we are not allowed to 'change the estate' by putting up walls or gates etc. We have even had people drive across the end of our front lawn and ruin the grass as they have been so close when they are turning their cars.

Don't know what my AIBU is but I just wanted to rant. Wondering how I can get around restrictive covenants by somehow dividing the front lawns in a non permanant way. And keep people out of our driveway,
Anyone else on a stupid new build estate dealing with similar issues?

OP posts:
FannyFernackerpan · 17/08/2020 18:40

I haven't explained that very well.

Whichever way you drive in you have to carry on driving in that direction to the other end of the slip road to exit.

You can only drive out the way you drove in, if you find somewhere to turn around - like my fucking driveway!!!

sueelleker · 17/08/2020 18:42

We live in a cul-de-sac and don't have a car, so we get people regularly using our driveway to turn round. They got a shock one day when my SIL's car was there!

Darkestseasonofall · 17/08/2020 18:49

@ThePawtriarchy I'm not a great one for conflict myself, but I'd be fucked if I'd stand by and watch a bunch of tradies wheel a dirty great barrow over my new lawn and not say a peep.
OP have you a relative or friend who is more assertive who could come by and have a word for you maybe?

ThePawtriarchy · 17/08/2020 18:54

@Darkestseasonofall I think you’re right and I’m fascinated in what makes some of us so adverse to it, I wonder if it’s just a personality trait or social conditioning or..?

Ideasplease322 · 17/08/2020 19:08

Please speak up. All you need to say is excuse me, please don’t use my lawn, your are destroying it.

It is a perfectly reasonable request, most builders will comply.

If they don’t speak to your neighbour.

Don’t stand by while the wreck your property.

Jux · 17/08/2020 19:14

You want penguin bollards for the drive and garden, but you could get them just to stop people using the drive and some trellis planters to demarcate your garden boundary.

Speak to your neighbours, point out that the workmen are damaging your property and ask whether you speak to the men or the ndns themselves regarding restoration?

Wear and tear on the drive won't show up until later so go for the preventative bollard option.

Staffy1 · 17/08/2020 19:28

You have to speak to the builders, or at least the neighbours. You have to wonder why they didn't park in front of the neighbours house, were they asked by them not to trek across their lawn. Of course it might just be the builders decision as they only care about the people paying them. I remember when our neighbours were having something done in their back yard. The builders covered their front paving with plastic sheeting so it would be kept clean from all the dug up cement from the back that they moved to the front until it could be collected. They were less bothered about our front and emptied half of it plus all the dust onto our drive when clearing up. Our neighbour made them come back and hose it down without being asked by us.

Ringsender2 · 17/08/2020 19:30

@Brunilde

I think you're unreasonable for watching them ruin your lawn. Just go and politely explain the situation and ask them not to. What is it exactly you think they would do?
This^^
ithinkiveseenthisfilmbefore · 17/08/2020 19:33

Why on earth are you sat there watching them ruin your lawn while they spare the lawn of the people they're doing work for? Get out there and tell them to stay of your property as they're damaging it.

urkidding · 17/08/2020 19:51

This is 'We can get away with this!' , and lets get the job done quickly, behaviour from the builders. They are probably just being thoughtless.
'PLEASE DO NOT PARK ON MY LAWN! I DON'T WANT TO LOOK OUT ON YOUR MUDDY MESS! ARE YOU GOING TO SORT IT OUT NOW? ' Big smile on your face but a very loud strong jostling voice. They will have to answer you! You have to be loud and pushy, and they will wilt. I speak from experience, being only 5'2" and having dealt a lot with builders.
Plant pots will stop reversing neighbours as others have suggested.

urkidding · 17/08/2020 19:53

Sorry I meant WALK not PARK!

Merriwicks · 17/08/2020 20:21

I live in an estate like this. We have big stones at the corners of our propety to stop people takkmg short cuts across our garden. We are also allowed small decorative things? Plants, decorative stones be an option? I don't really care about people parking in front of the house bug wrecking the grass would annoy me

updownroundandround · 18/08/2020 17:39

Are you a child or an actual grown up ?

I'm asking as it's the easiest thing in the world to pop next door for a quick chat with your neighbours and politely ask them to tell builders not to cross over your lawn.

IF that doesn't solve the problem ( and bear in mind that it isn't a long term problem, but your neighbours ARE long term, so I wouldn't be rude at all) then by all means put something temporary like plant pots etc out to stop them, or even sit on your front step all day and watch so you can stop them.

I support the idea of the parking bollard, but it's pretty expensive, though it would certainly work and would be on your own property so no issues with permission.

Just remember, the whole neighbourhood is new, and everyones got to settle in. You certainly don't want to be the 'annoying neighbour' in the street, so tread politely but firmly.

StoneofDestiny · 18/08/2020 18:04

Speak to the neighbours about the damage to your lawn, tell the builders you have taken pictures of the damage done and expect it to be made good. Get pics of vehicles and get numbers and phone the company/ follow up with a letter.

Hard to believe you've let it get this far.

I'd get big chunks planters round the boundary. There will be nothing to stop you planting things supported by canes etc - not a hedge, but planting with gaps too small for people to get through.

I know of places were fences have been allowed if safety is being compromised ie on corners etc. Explore that.

Mmpip · 18/08/2020 18:42

@EL8888

Yeah l would park your car outside your house tomorrow so the builders can’t do the same thing again. I would also speak to the neighbour about your lawn being made good
Absolutely this.....
tiredanddangerous · 18/08/2020 18:51

Ffs go and tell them to get off your garden. Why do you need a man to solve this issue for you?

Spinningdot · 18/08/2020 19:06

Has anyone said penguin bollards yet?

Spinningdot · 18/08/2020 19:10

I'd be sticking some spikes in my garden & putting up some 'do not enter' tape. & definitely some sort of barrier so others can't use your drive. What about long term damage to your drive? If anyone complains to the estate building company, complain right back that your private drive is being used - & therefore potentially damaged - without consent

VinylDetective · 18/08/2020 19:11

@Spinningdot

Has anyone said penguin bollards yet?
Yes, of course, this is MN after all!

Just tell them, OP. The grass will be fine if they stop now.

StoneofDestiny · 18/08/2020 19:32

Sort it out with them.
Get a flower border in ASAP.
Gradually add bushes and shrubs.
Place a few big rocks in between the bushes and shrubs.
It will soon get sorted and stop inconsiderate drivers.

People coming into garden and driveway (new build estate)
Todaywewilldobetter · 18/08/2020 19:38

Why cant you ask them not to rather than PA -ing them with a parked car.
Folks are odd.

wheresmymojo · 18/08/2020 19:39

I find threads like this so weird.

OP, do you know any builders?

They're just people you know.

Sure they'll use bad language to each other as 'banter' but they're no more likely to be aggressive to you (if you are polite to them) than any other person.

I sort of see this kind of thing as like the class version of when white middle class women in the US assume a black man will attack them.

Bizarre.

Burnthurst187 · 18/08/2020 19:48

My next door neighbour had some building work done recently and the builders were a joke. They dumped a huge pile of gravel off the back of a van about waist high blocking my driveway, didn't ask if I needed to get my car out. Luckily I didn't. They even parked on my drive one day, that was the final straw so I had a go at them over the fence. They apologised and moved it

You will need to make a stand early on because they will just get worse. When said builders left the street looked awful, gravel and sand everywhere. I swept some of it up and so did a house two down. Thank god they were only here for a week.

Burnthurst187 · 18/08/2020 19:50

@wheresmymojo

I find threads like this so weird.

OP, do you know any builders?

They're just people you know.

Sure they'll use bad language to each other as 'banter' but they're no more likely to be aggressive to you (if you are polite to them) than any other person.

I sort of see this kind of thing as like the class version of when white middle class women in the US assume a black man will attack them.

Bizarre.

Strange comparison
PermaStress · 18/08/2020 19:50

I voted YABU because come on OP grow some! They are a group of builders who are swearing because that's what they do on building sites, not because they're thugs about to lay into you. GO AND TALK TO THEM. Be reasonable and polite but FIRM "Hi guys this side of the lamp post is my property, you made a mess of it yesterday so you're going to need to stay off my lawn and my driveway for the rest of the duration of your job. Thanks, bye!"

Anything they may object back at you with is met with a shrug and a "I'm sure you'll find a way without using my property" on repeat.

And talk to your neighbour. And/or ring the company head office. But ffs don't do all victim passive aggressive stuff, it won't work and will just piss you off even more.