Aibu to refuse this Covid test?

[Teacher12345]

Last weekend (not the one just gone) me and Dd woke feeling rough with sore throats. Felt like a cold but DH has been suffering from anxiety, (the worst of it, he only disclosed yesterday and has booked an appt with GP,) so the whole house got Covid tested for his peace of mind.
I'll point out that this is not a small thing as kids are 7 and 4 and it was not a pleasant experience for them.
Ds since then has caught this cold and has had a constant stream of snot running down his face since Tuesday.
DH has said today he wants us all to do the tests again and I have said no.
No one in the house has any symptoms at all so it would be purely for his piece of mind, but I don't think it is fair to keep asking them to do it, just to assure him. At this rate, we will be doing them weekly until Xmas and beyond!
Is it unreasonable of me to say no? I am not saying he cannot do it just that I won't, and I won't ask the kids to either. Our DS was really anxious whilst waiting for results and took a few days to be convinced he didn't have it, even when they came back negative.

Sounds totally reasonable to me.

This is having such a major impact on so many people’s mental health, it’s so worrying.

i would let him get one, but not put the children through it for a second time if they have no symptoms.

I said I am happy for him to do the test. He has ordered it to the house.
I just won't be putting the kids through it with no symptoms.

Sounds like the right thing to do.

How does this....

"Ds since then has caught this cold and has had a constant stream of snot running down his face since Tuesday."

Fit with this...

"No one in the house has any symptoms at all"

You don't know that DS has caught what you had more than a week ago. Could be something different.

So I would think a test for DS with symptoms would be a good idea.

Symptoms can be very different and mild in children - possibly like a common cold.

I can see both points of view. However don't forget lots of people are asymptotic. My sister has weekly tests due to where she works, she was tested 3 weeks ago displaying symptoms and was negative as was the following test then last week with no symptoms has tested positive.

We are part of a study and get invited for tests for every couple of weeks. I always do the tests but let the dc choose. Dc is 14 and happy to do them, dc11, sometimes does, dc10 has never done one. The tests are uncomfortable and if they don’t want to do them and no actual reason (temp/cough/lack of taste and smell) I wouldn’t make them. Just as He can do as many as he wishes, that’s his choice.

I take it you're all isolating while the symptoms are present? If so I guess it doesn't matter whether you all get tested or not.

The gov.uk website says to test if you have a cough, temperature or loss of taste or smell. If you and the kids don't have these symptoms i can't see a reason to test - it's unpleasant and anxiety-inducing. I have suffered from health anxiety in the past and it's important not to let irrational behaviours impact others.

A snotty nose isn't a symptom of Covid. If it was, I would happily do the test again.

Exactly!

A snotty nose isn't a symptom of Covid. If it was, I would happily do the test again.

US CDC states...

"Congestion or runny nose"

may be a symptom of COVID-19

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

Yes - the UK government do not officially list it as a symptom. But other countries do.

Cue - a Mumsnet vs Centers for Disease Control and Prevention discussion...

I think you are right to say he can get tested but you wont force a test on the children. I would imagine once you agree to this test he will indeed make you test every time they have so much as a runny nose or cough because they were eating their food too quickly.

I appreciate it must be stressful for him but forcing a quite uncomfortable test on 2 small children who are likely to be constantly snotty between now and December seems very unreasonable.

I'd say no. Your children aren't responsible for managing his anxiety.

I think YABU because it is well documented that covid can present in very similar ways to the common cold, especially in children so on that basis, whilst it is likely your son has a simple cold, you can't actually know that. I also think that as you acknowledge that your husband is struggling with his MH and is actively seeking professional support from gp, I really think that it is not unreasonable for you to have the test to help relieve his anxiety. The covid test is uncomfortable but lasts all of 20 seconds, living in a constant state of heightened anxiety for the days to a week that a common cold lasts could have a huge physical and psychological impact which will last much much longer than 20 seconds. On balance, I think there are 2 very good reasons for getting the test.

let him get one if he is feeling that anxious about it. wouldnt put your kids through it again when they dont have COVID symptoms.

@JustOneMoreStep if we hadn't had the test a week ago, I would agree with you. We got the results saying we were negative on Monday evening and on Tuesday morning, DS started with a snotty nose. We isolated before the results came and Between our test and now, we have only been out for walks. He hasn't got it. We already took the precaution of a test.

It’s important for resolving his anxiety that he stops engaging in seeking reassurance every time he feels anxious. This just maintains anxiety. And also, he is not reasonable to expect family members to suffer to reassure him. Taking the test should rest ONLY on if the objective criteria are met. NOT his thoughts and feelings. What help is he getting for his anxiety?

I would say he can isolate and test and if he has a positive result you will get the children tested.

A negative test doesn't always mean you haven't got it just that your still in the incubation period.

@Tolleshunt he has a phone call with a doctor on Thursday

I hope he gets a referral to IAPT or similar, Teacher. His anxiety can be resolved, but he needs to really take it seriously and fully engage with therapy.

@Teacher12345

I said I am happy for him to do the test. He has ordered it to the house. I just won't be putting the kids through it with no symptoms.

Who died and left him absolute monarch? NO. He can get a test himself, he doesn't get to decide to force people to have tests they don't want.

My son has OCD, it's very important not to feed this anxiety.

I know someone working for test and trace. People are reporting runny noses. People are reporting a lot more than what is 'official'.