Aibu to refuse this Covid test?

[Teacher12345]

Last weekend (not the one just gone) me and Dd woke feeling rough with sore throats. Felt like a cold but DH has been suffering from anxiety, (the worst of it, he only disclosed yesterday and has booked an appt with GP,) so the whole house got Covid tested for his peace of mind.
I'll point out that this is not a small thing as kids are 7 and 4 and it was not a pleasant experience for them.
Ds since then has caught this cold and has had a constant stream of snot running down his face since Tuesday.
DH has said today he wants us all to do the tests again and I have said no.
No one in the house has any symptoms at all so it would be purely for his piece of mind, but I don't think it is fair to keep asking them to do it, just to assure him. At this rate, we will be doing them weekly until Xmas and beyond!
Is it unreasonable of me to say no? I am not saying he cannot do it just that I won't, and I won't ask the kids to either. Our DS was really anxious whilst waiting for results and took a few days to be convinced he didn't have it, even when they came back negative.

@Tolleshunt

I hope he gets a referral to IAPT or similar, Teacher. His anxiety can be resolved, but he needs to really take it seriously and fully engage with therapy.

Yes, he does. And that is his responsibility as an adult, not for you and your kids to enable it. I have major depression and PTSD. It's my duty and my job to manage that and minimise the impact on the family I chose to have. When it starts to get bad again, I'm the one who needs to ring my doctors and see to it, not visit it on my family and fuck up their lives.

Tell him to isolate and do another test.

You are correct. Making the family do the test when they don't have symptoms is feeding his anxiety. Understand and sympathise with his feelings but explain why you won't allow the test to go ahead. Doing the covid test won't help his anxiety as he will then always need to do one when someone has a sniffle. I say this as someone who has health anxiety and am lucky to have someone who shows me tough love/rationality when I am being irrational.

Surely if you are not willing to be tested as a family, you now need to self isolate for 14 days?

I think you are being unreasonable.

The test is not traumatic even for children and you could try to manage their anxiety over waiting for the results.

The test may be slightly uncomfortable but you do appear to be making a big deal over it.

Also, home tests are not always best as it's possible people don't do them properly.

Is it unreasonable of me to say no? I am not saying he cannot do it just that I won't, and I won't ask the kids to either.

Of course it's not, there are still some things in this country you have a choice on and this is one of them and it should be respected.

If he wants to get tested every time someone farts the wrong way or sneezes more than once, that's his choice too.

Surely if you are not willing to be tested as a family, you now need to self isolate for 14 days?

As a cold is not one of the recognised symptoms of Covid, no.

No one in the house has any symptoms at all

But you said your son has a runny nose? This could be a symptom.

And many people who have it are asymptomatic- have you not heard that?

so it would be purely for his piece of mind, but I don't think it is fair to keep asking them to do it, just to assure him.

No, it's not for his peace of mind, it's to protect the community.

You could all have Covid now,- the first test could be a false negative, you could still have it with no symptoms.

Your son could have caught it from you and your daughter but delayed symptoms.

Just get tested or stay at home for 2 weeks.

The test is not traumatic even for children and you could try to manage their anxiety over waiting for the results.

She just said it was. So she's lying? Seems everyone who doesn't relish having this test is a liar and dramatist on MN.

FUCK letting someone else's anxiety control and fuck up the whole house. Honestly. You have to just say NO to that or before you know it, the whole house is walking on eggshells round one person's issues, fair enough when it's a child, but this man is an adult.

SOME people find the test painful and hard and not just a little uncomfortable. And their experience is just as valid as anyone else's.

@Pobblebonk

How do you or the OP know it's a cold?

She and a child had sore throats. Now one has a runny nose. It could be Covid - can take 2 weeks for symptoms to appear.

The first test could have been a false negative- was it done at home? People often take them wrongly.

Totally agree with your posts InDeo.

Jingling it’s not possible for you or anybody else to predict what any other person may not not find traumatic.

I despair.

For the sake of a cotton bud up your nose or in your mouth for seconds, people would rather post on here.

Maybe this is why numbers are rising because of people's inability to do the right thing.

Are we all going to be expected to spend the winter being swabbed for every single sniffle?

I agree with the anxiety, the problem with pandering to this sort of thing is that nothing you do will never be enough to satisfy them.

@Tolleshunt And neither is it possible for you or anyone else to decide what is traumatic.

Common sense tells you that a tiny cotton bud in the entrance to the nostril cannot be traumatic. And for anyone who says it has to go right up the nose, that's wrong- new advice says it's not necessary.

And many people who have it are asymptomatic- have you not heard that?

I don't understand the logic of this at all- are you saying that we should all just have regular tests, since we could asymptomatically have it? Would we have them daily, weekly? Where would it end?

The NHS have clear guidelines on when to order a test and OP's situation doesn't fit it. Her DH's anxiety and the anxiety of lots of people on this thread doesn't change that.

From personal experience, the cotton bud in your mouth is really quite nasty - I nearly threw up over the unfortunate tester.

But that's not the point. There simply isn't any evidence that this child needs to be tested. The sore throats are irrelevant in light of the negative test. Since that test he has only been in contact with people who also tested negative, who have isolated since then, and who have no symptoms. Where would he have picked up Covid, asymptomatic or not? It means putting him through several days of anxiety which just isn't necessary. When is it going to stop? Suppose he takes the test but next week OP's DH starts making a fuss again, and again, and again?

Yanbu.

Dont feed his unreasonable anxieties. It's not fair to make your children suffer because of his issues.

I think those saying it isn't traumatic haven't had the tests done. It isn't just up the nose. It is nose AND throat. Right back on either side of your tonsils. Each side for 5 seconds and it makes you gag.

If we hadn't already done a test, then I would definitely be doing one. I would be very surprised if all 4 tests were a false negative. They were done in the test centre, not at home.

The test is not traumatic even for children and you could try to manage their anxiety over waiting for the results.
The test may be slightly uncomfortable but you do appear to be making a big deal over it.

No, the test isn't traumatic for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN. Please don't presume to know how other people react to it, it makes you look ignorant and arrogant.

Going by the logic of EVERYTHING could be a symptom and lots of people are asymptomatic, we should be locking back down and not letting anyone out for anything because we might ask have it and negative tests are meaningless

@Teacher12345

I think those saying it isn't traumatic haven't had the tests done. It isn't just up the nose. It is nose AND throat. Right back on either side of your tonsils. Each side for 5 seconds and it makes you gag.

If we hadn't already done a test, then I would definitely be doing one. I would be very surprised if all 4 tests were a false negative. They were done in the test centre, not at home.

Oh, Teacher, you can't go there! You're lying, exaggerating, being dramatic, blah blah. On MN it's all just a doddle, a 2-year-old does it no bother, you need to control your anxiety. The altar of Covid supercedes all deity.

Sorry to hear your husband fell for the mass hysteria. Say no to the test.

@SnuggyBuggy

Are we all going to be expected to spend the winter being swabbed for every single sniffle?

I agree with the anxiety, the problem with pandering to this sort of thing is that nothing you do will never be enough to satisfy them.

Yes. Some will not be satisfied unless we're all human lab rats or locked down at home for every sniffle.

He needs to see a doctor and seek help for anxiety, do not feed it for an easy life because it will never pay off. Again, my son has OCD and really important part of treating his illness is not giving into his intrusive thoughts and feeding them because it's a losing game.

It'll make his anxiety worse tbh. He's shown that getting tests didn't give him peace of mind, because a matter of days later he wants another. It'll just become a constant theme, it's not fair to prioritise him over the kids.

@bobbiester

A snotty nose isn't a symptom of Covid. If it was, I would happily do the test again.

US CDC states...

"Congestion or runny nose"

may be a symptom of COVID-19

www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/symptoms-testing/symptoms.html

Yes - the UK government do not officially list it as a symptom. But other countries do.

And it’s the U.K. government who administer our tests and who ask you when applying for one if you have any of a list of symptoms which does not include snotty nose. If you don’t have a snotty nose you can’t get a test without lying.

Oops. If you ONLY have a snotty nose, that should have said.