why do people on here feel the need to be so dramatic?

[amb885]

not a thread about a thread, i saw on another thread someone telling the op to 'move out. now' over a minor inconvenience with her dh aibu to think people on here are unnecessarily dramatic?

It can go to the other extreme, though. I'm talking about those threads where the OP is sharing about their toxic and how they're attempting to go NC with their narcissistic mother and their enabling father and their golden child sibling as well as their 'flying monkey' aunt.

You get plenty of posters giving very good supportive advice, but then along comes someone berating the OP for not being grateful to have a mum. 'I lost my beloved DM last year, I would be so grateful to have just one more day with her.' So misses the whole point that not all mothers are like theirs.

The But Olympics are the best.
And everything needs a caveat 🙄

"People should be encouraged to exercise more. It's healthy and helps with immunity."
"But what about people like me who are paralysed from neck down? Eh? Fuck you you abelist shit"

"AIBU to think spaghetti are the best?'"
"No. I can literally die if I eat some. They are the worst. Why would you think they are the best? Some people can't eat them you know!"

These are just a bit over the top compared to some I saw. Not too much though😂

Yep. The Coronavirus and schools returning threads are the worst. Well now we are past the “literally sobbing and shaking” at the thought of people going to the shops during lockdown to buy chocolate or wine.

One of my favourites was when a poster was 'shaking with fear' because someone knocked on the door and it was 'after 6pm'. I have so many WTF moments on this board.

Many many years ago I participated in the Christmas gift thingy. I sent my recipient a parcel from Amazon. She then posted on the thread that she'd never received it (and was a bit humphy which I thought was a bit rich tbh but never mind) I contacted Amazon and it had been returned to them undelivered. They sent it out again. On the thread I apologised profusely and said it was coming again. Again it was returned to Amazon.
Transpires she doesn't accept parcels if she doesn't know who they are from. Which is fair enough but at some stage she had received an email from MN telling her she had been nominated for a gift and had said yes. And provided her address.

She hasn't ever namechanged and every time I see her on a thread I do the twirly finger thing at the side of my head and give her a swerve, imagining her sat with a metal colander on her head quaking at the thought of unsolicited gifts.

"People should be encouraged to exercise more. It's healthy and helps with immunity."
"But what about people like me who are paralysed from neck down? Eh? Fuck you you abelist shit"*

Yep

It's the bad faith contraian stance.

'I can't afford a gym membership"

'you don't have to fork out for a gym membership, a walk around your park is exercise'

'there are no parks near me'

'well just walk around the block a few times'

'I can't afford expensive running shoes'

'you don't need expensive running shoes'

'I have anxiety and I am scared of the dark'

'ask a friend to accompany you and help with motivation'

'my friend lives 40 miles away'

'join a local walking club'

'I'm too busy'

@DillonPanthersTexas great job! Perfect example of an amazing But Olympics!🏅😂

Oh this is easily my favourite thread of the week so far. I'm watching half a dozen others and oh my lord, apparently all these women would be better off LTB no thought as to what that entails!

Yes! I do wonder how these people function in life.

Eg “literally sobbing and shaking” because someone bought a curly wurly with their weekly shop etc
How do these people function out in the world? I’m presuming that either they don’t- and they are under supervision of a psychiatrist. Or, they love the drama of scolding people and it makes them feel morally superior so they keep doing it.
Either way, I pity them. I can’t imagine going through life on such an unstable emotional rollercoaster.

There is a very prolific MNer (and I know I'm being awful obliquely referencing her but fuckit) who I call the ButWhatAbout Queen.

"Which jeans do you prefer?"

Cue tirade of anyone daring to think of buying jeans when there's a pandemic/Tory govt/hot weather/weekend approaching etc.

No banality is ever too much for her to come galloping into on her ButWhatAbout trusty steed. It then leads to lots of handwringing and furious apologising from people who really should tell her to fecking chill but daren't.

Oh, and another one that makes me cringe is when someone has been ghosted by a bloke and people come up with what they think are super witty, Dorothy Parker esque replies that will either teach him a lesson or make him come crawling back on his knees. Eg, “text him that whilst being stood up in the restaurant waiting for him the hot waiter asked you out and you’ve just returned from shagging him all night- that’ll teach him!, he’ll be begging to come back now!” Tee hee!

OMG nooooooo.

1. It’s not like anyone would believe that in the first place and it makes you look SO desperate. And 2. He DOESNT CARE! If he did care he wouldn’t have fcking ghosted in the first place. You could shag the local football team and it won’t make a hot of difference because he doesn’t bloody care.

text him that whilst being stood up in the restaurant waiting for him the hot waiter asked you out and you’ve just returned from shagging him all night- that’ll teach him!, he’ll be begging to come back now!” Tee hee

That thread was absolutely cringey as fuck.

The relationship board gaslighting never fails to amuse me

OP outlines her problem. Clearly stating what her issue is and what advice she wants.

PPs reply, that’s not your problem. This is your problem.

OP, no my problem is this.

PPs, reply,with a summary of their MN interventions as evidence of their qualifications to tell people what to do, again telling the OP she is wrong and what she witnessed didn’t happen that way.

That thread was absolutely cringey as fuck

It so was! Even when the OPs silence was driving him mad and it was having the exact desired effect people were STILL suggesting stupid replies that weren’t remotely funny and reeked of desperation and an Asda meal for one.

The Relationship board is unfortunately full of people projecting.

And yes, to the stupid pathetic and cringey suggestions.

If he hasn't phoned you, he isn't dead, he hasn't lost your number, he hasn't in an amnesiac state having had a bucket drop on his head. He just didn't want to phone you.

Well yes but that'll be because someone they weren't expecting, knocked at their front door.

That was nicely intolerant. Unexpected callers are a genuine problem for some, e.g. those with social anxiety.

Russellbrandshair the only thing missing was the suggestion of a 'tinkly laugh' after the messages that were suggested

YANBU I think quite a few mumsnetters just jump on the 'abusive' bandwagon, alot. Especially when it comes to a man who hasn't the ability to express anger or show any emotional intelligence for that matter. Rather than try to educate its simply easier to say "get rid" than taking the time to actually look at two point of views. An haven forbid you dont agree with thinking the guy is abusive.

@Mittens030869

It can go to the other extreme, though. I'm talking about those threads where the OP is sharing about their toxic and how they're attempting to go NC with their narcissistic mother and their enabling father and their golden child sibling as well as their 'flying monkey' aunt.

You get plenty of posters giving very good supportive advice, but then along comes someone berating the OP for not being grateful to have a mum. 'I lost my beloved DM last year, I would be so grateful to have just one more day with her.' So misses the whole point that not all mothers are like theirs.

I hate shit like that. My dad died when I was a child and I miss him like crazy but I'm not going to whinge at people who have bad relationships with their dads. I was lucky in that mine was a good father. A lot of people aren't so lucky.

The narcissists - so many narcissists! And the posters who have done some Google quiz and diagnosed a parent or ex or current spouse as a “narc”. The glee of it! And then the flying monkeys. I can’t stand all the pseudo-psychology. Go “grey rock”. Read “Why Does He Do That?”

That and the “because anxiety”. Genuine, diagnosed anxiety is debilitating, I get that. But it becomes such a full stop - almost as if the anxiety is a get out of jail free card for everything challenging in life. And if you challenge that, you get absolutely piled on for being an uncaring, unsympathetic monster.

Oh and the “there’s a GLOBAL PANDEMIC ON” people...

Who are countered by the "only 0.0000000001% of the world has Covid and they're all 90 so deserve to be dead anyway" lot.
I hate both groups with impunity. I'm ever so democratic

Talking of narcissistic families. I often wonder about the other side's version. Is the OP always in the right and everyone in her family treats them badly? Or that they are just a drama llama who needs constant attention?

That and the “because anxiety”. Genuine, diagnosed anxiety is debilitating, I get that. But it becomes such a full stop - almost as if the anxiety is a get out of jail free card for everything challenging in life. And if you challenge that, you get absolutely piled on for being an uncaring, unsympathetic monster

Oh my god yes. I often feel angry at people using it as get out of jail free card, because I have friends with diagnosed anxiety and they work really hard functioning like a normal person. Yes, sometimes they have to stay at home from work because that day it's unbearable, but they don't do all the drama around. I believe some people here simply don't have it. They just want to be interesting, have an excuses for stuff and get the "aw poor you!".

@Keeping2ChevronsApart

Talking of narcissistic families. I often wonder about the other side's version. Is the OP always in the right and everyone in her family treats them badly? Or that they are just a drama llama who needs constant attention?

Yeah! There were few cases when the WHOLE family had an issue, but op was told they are ALL narcs and she should go NC.

If you meet and asshole, you met an asshole. If everyone you meet is an asshole, YOU are the asshole.