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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wish that pushy parents would stop pretending to be religious in order to get a place for Lily at the faith school?

311 replies

Caroline1852 · 03/10/2007 13:13

If these schools are "better" it is because parents are clamouring for places, thereby artificially raising the standards. Left to their own, the number of faith schools would dwindle dramatically. There are nearly 5,000 C of E schools, most of them oversubscribed, yet bottoms on church pews are falling (save for a lot of red-faced couples and their 10 year olds). I have nothing against faith schools by the way.
Grrrr it's that time of year again!

OP posts:
cornsilk · 03/10/2007 16:54

It's just an extension of the PTA.

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 03/10/2007 16:57

Estyn is Welsh Ofsted

billysitch · 03/10/2007 16:57

YANBU

. . . being a buddist I obviously would find it very difficult to even contemplate this, not that I would.

We want our son to learn amongst his neighbours and tolerate difference in creed, colour, religon and culture, this way I hope he will grow up to respect others and their choices, as my husband and I have done. We both travelled about a lot as children to different countries and feel this is important.

TBH our local primary school has 15 or so first languages because of the diversity our local university brings employing foreign lecturers, and we feel quite honoured.

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 03/10/2007 16:58

(Whats an extension of PTA, btw?)

cornsilk · 03/10/2007 16:58

church mums just like PTA mums.

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 03/10/2007 16:59

No, I'm a PA Mum- I'm not a pushy Mum though. lots of differnt types on our PA, all just want to help out a bit with the school. Nowt wrong with that!

cornsilk · 03/10/2007 17:02

Have been on PTA myself! I can't resist a stereotype.

scareybee · 03/10/2007 17:04

I'd rather there wasn't state funding for schools which discriminate on religious grounds. As there is, and the local CofE school is by far the best state school in my area (which is overrun with private schools which I can't afford), we will start going to church. I wouldn't baptise my son or convert to Catholicism but the sunday morning C of E service won't kill us.

scareybee · 03/10/2007 17:05

Oh and I am in no way a pushy mother

Blu · 03/10/2007 17:08

LOL at Suebarooos dog, ballot.

I could embroider kneelers and genuflect with the best of them, but DS would blow it all by broadcasting far and wide what Mummy says at home, and the idea of lying to my child for several years is bizarre and counter to what education in it's broadest sense should be.

Original poster
Caroline1852 · 03/10/2007 17:13

I think anyone who is prepared to lie (and I understand) should also be prepared to write to their MP and complain that they saw no option but to lie. A form of confession?

OP posts:
SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 03/10/2007 17:15

Wait a minute. This thread is all about hypocrites going to church? Where else would we go?

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 03/10/2007 17:17

Well if youre a REAL hypocrite perhaps to the Gurdwarea? Or would a stripjoint be mroe appropriate fro a hypocritical Christian I wonder?

The only real solution is to improve all schools, or at least to publicise the strong points of them all better- that would make a good starting point!

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 03/10/2007 17:25

Show me a Christian who isn't hypocritical about something, and I'll show you a liar. And if they're not a liar and they're telling you they're not a hypocrite ever, then they're prideful, and that's just as bad...

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 03/10/2007 17:25

(And I'm only sort of joking )

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 03/10/2007 17:28

No, you're right SueBaroo- we did levicticus today at Uni so that rubbed that in very much!!

Although of course, as longa s your elaise and say sorry it's not a problem, which is (imo) where the real Christianbity thing steps in- you do your very best, you aplogise ffor what tou can't do and try to do better next time

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 03/10/2007 17:31

Well, yes, that's where the rubber hits the road when it comes to doing Christianity, for sure.

Original poster
Caroline1852 · 03/10/2007 17:37

The people who got their children into faith schools based on a lie should confess and seek forgiveness.

OP posts:
handlemecarefully · 03/10/2007 17:40

Lily is a much nicer name than Caroline...it also happens to be my dd's name

MaryBS · 03/10/2007 17:44

I can be a hypocrite with the worst of them, that's for sure! Not something I'm proud of.

wheresmysuntan · 03/10/2007 17:49

''Why are faith schools better? If it was because standards are artificially raised by everyone clamouring for a place, then how did the situation come about in the first place? And how many people who say 'hypocrite' didn't marry in a church? ''

Well, Cornsilk - in answer to your first question not ALL faith schools are better. As an answer to your second q I wouldn't mind betting that if the faith school is in an LEA with comprehensive education then you could probably trace back and find a disproportionately high number of (for want of a better description) middle-class families compared with the other schools in the area. Once it was seen to be better ( even marginally)it will have been targetted by all the aspirational families and then hey presto - self-fulfilling prophecy.
And to answer your 3rd q - I think I can safely say all the parents who feign religion are hypocrites as not only did I not marry in a church , I did not marry at all thereby not buying in to an outdated mysogynistic ceremony

Justaboutmanaging · 03/10/2007 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Caroline1852 · 03/10/2007 19:32

handlemecarefully - I agree that Lily is a much nicer name than Caroline. Caroline is however a much nicer name than handlemecarefully - what were your parents thinking? If your name isn't handlemecarefully why do you assume my name is Caroline?

OP posts:
LittleBella · 03/10/2007 19:46

Yes YABU.

If the state says you have to be religious to get your kid into the good school, you'll pretend to be religious. If it says you have to pretend to be a communist, you'll pretend to be a communist. If it says you've got to dye your hair pink and take up yodelling, you'll dye your hair pink and take up yodelling.

Nothing remotely hypocritical about that. You make the rule, you make the trick. As long as the alternative to a good school is a shit school, parents will do whatever is required to get their child into the good school. When the alternative to the good religious school is a good non-religious school, people will stop pretending. Stop blaming parents for shit schools. I notice that the people who mostly complain about people being hypocrites about schools, are mostly those with more choices than other parents. It pisses me off, tbh.

ScottishMummy · 03/10/2007 20:05

Caroline1852 - YABU.faith schools receive funding from all parents (irrespective of their faith) yet set criteria for admission eg demonstrable religious observance, thus effectively disbarring those non faith parents who actually fund such schools

faith schools are happy to accept money from all faiths, but want to set admission criteria - unfair and discriminatory imo

it will only be fair when faith schools fund themselves, and then can fairly set admission criteria. if u want it - you pay for it

to any parent who tries to choses to play the system (for want of better phrase) Good luck to them - they are paying for it

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