To shave my 3 year olds head?

[InTheFamilyTree]

My 3 year old daughter had lovely wavy blonde hair, but is the bane of my life atm. She hates having it washed so have to do it forceably every week, as nothing we've tried seems to help (shower head, cap etc).

It's now matted in loads of places, I brush every day but she hated that too so never manage to get the tangles out. Any advice? Or AIBU to just shave it off?

Leave in conditioner and braids!

My mother had an ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE with my hair when I was little. I had waist length, very thick, unmanageable hair. And I hated having it brushed. She would wash it on a Sunday, comb it through and then braid it. Tight enough braids will stay in a kids hair for most of if not all the week, with some little bits of restyling here and there. So the trauma of washing and brushing doesn't have to be frequent.

Bobs are the worst to manage. My DD has very thick wavy hair, used to be tight curls. Its down to her shoulder blades. I wash and deep condition weekly, using an sls, silicate free conditioner and brush while the conditioner is in it. It gets plaited for bed every night because that's when it mats. If you spray it damp and plait it will still be damp and easy to give a quick brush with the tangle teaser in the morning.

I had short hair for a lot of my childhood and I loved it. Cooler in summer, nothing to get caught in zips, fly around my face when running or pulled by other kids. This “little girls must have long hair thing is bewildering.

It’s the chin length bob on wavy hair that’s the problem OP. It either needs to be too short to tangle like a Michelle Williams type cut or long enough to tie back or plait before bed. It’s very easy to French Plait fairly short hair (collarbone length) before bed.

It’s really not ok to shave it imo. Girl or boy. Seems like a punishment, indeed it has been throughout history; prisoners, concentration camp victims, collaborators.

I really hope you weren’t serious in saying you’d shave this child’s head.

It’s not even funny.

Shaving peoples heads in prison or as POWs was more to do with stopping lice infestations and ease of care than punishment.

Lots of cultures don't see it as punishment at all, in fact in some it is part of a ceremony and a right of passage.

If she's happy with it do it, if not lots of conditioner and a leave in spray.

We had that problem. I spent about an hour carefully clipping the tangles out and gave her a layered bob. No more tangles and she is happy to brush her own hair now.

Of course you are not shaving it.
But cutting it short should be the thing to do. Save your sanity. And all the hassle and drama that goes with it.

Mumsnet really is a fucking alternate universe sometimes

Too fucking right it is.

Mum comes onto an anonymous forum to have a rant about a child’s hair, and some posters think it’s abusive because rather than thinking (sensibly) that the OP is probably using hyperbole for dramatic effect, what she’s actually going to do is pin her screaming 3 year old down and skin her head with a straight razor. OP has also come back and been in good humour about those of you going insane about the abuse of cutting off a little girls hair.

And I would refute the assertion that curly hair is easy to manage. Toddler curly hair - but mine certainly isn’t!

God only knows how you'd cope if you weren't Caucasian and she had thick, curly hair.
YWBU to shave your daughter's head.

I haven't read all the reply, get the hair to a shorter manageable length, a tangle teaser, detangling spray. Wear googles in the shower, absolute game changer for my son. He loves his googles.

Curly Ellie leave in conditioner is a GAME CHANGER. Little dollop rum through it after washing, you don’t have to rinse it out and it will make brushing easier, plus keeps it nearer after sleeping in it etc. Not the cheapest conditioner out there but quality is worth it in my opinion (tried many others and none compared) and will last you an age. My daughter has the same dry curly hair as I do and I grew up hating mine because it was painful and difficult to manage and was the source of lots of tension between my mother and me.

I hope this isn’t patronising but half the problem is HOW you brush it. If you do it while wet and full of conditioner, it’s not painful and is far more effective. As others have said, never brush from the root straight to the matted bits. If you take the section where it has matted, grip her hair above the clump so it’s not pulling her her scalp and just brush conditioner through it, (tangle teezers are great, and even try a stiff nail brush if the matts are really tough) there’s probably videos on YouTube etc.

I don’t know, I just feel really sad about how much I hated my own hair because my mother didn’t like it and I grew up to think it was horrible and made me difficult :( I’m sure your situation isn’t quite like that, but there are ways to manage difficult hair types that don’t involve painful brush battles or....shaving.