To shave my 3 year olds head?

[InTheFamilyTree]

My 3 year old daughter had lovely wavy blonde hair, but is the bane of my life atm. She hates having it washed so have to do it forceably every week, as nothing we've tried seems to help (shower head, cap etc).

It's now matted in loads of places, I brush every day but she hated that too so never manage to get the tangles out. Any advice? Or AIBU to just shave it off?

Get her a nice (very) short hairstyle. If shr doesn’t like washing and brushing, long hair isn’t fair to her!

Don’t be ridiculous.

You clearly have not been brushing your 3 year olds hair daily if her hair is “matted”. This is not a process that happens overnight.

Take her to a hairdresser and have it looked at properly. Once a hairdresser has it under control, you need to take responsibility and ensure her hair is combed through daily, so she never has to go through this process again.

My daughters hair gets matted very quickly, I feel your pain! Try a tangle teaser hair brush. Wash her hair in kids shampoo (Iv found normal/adult shampoo makes it worse. Then condition and brush through, starting at the ends, while the conditioner is still in. I ALWAYS put her hair in a plait before bed as this is the worst time for it getting tangled up. Take her and have a good amount cut off, but keep it long enough to tie back. Her hair might thicken after a good cut. Hope this helps

@ Hairdyehell. My daughters can go to bed with beautifully brushed hair and wake up with mats!

Another vote for a tangle teezer. My DM used to have my hair cut in a pixie cut until I was old enough to manage it myself. I do not blame her.

Your child is 3. So the combing hair is your responsibility. What type of hair does she have? Is it really thick.
You would be better seeking advice from a good hairdresser.

I was going to say wash it, brush it through and braid/plait it while it's wet. Then in the morning, spray some water on it, brush it through and re-do the braid.

Don’t understand the fierce reaction to shaving it! Why not? I wouldn’t blame you OP. Lots of cultures shave it off at some point to encourage it to look/grow back thicker. I don’t see the issue.

Hi, we found a wet brush good. We had a deal that she could chose a tv programme and that she would me brush for that long and I would stop when it had finished. I also used to do it at night when we weren't rushing and plait it so in the morning it just had to have a quick brush through!

The Wet Brush Wet Brush Original Detangler Pink https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0797BD6PC/ref=cmswwrcppapiii_h9xnFbSGWS2MB

I don't know why you shouldn't shave it?
If she was a boy, no-one would bat an eyelid, but posters here having heart attacks over the thought of a pretty princess having a short hair cut.
If she hates having her hair dealt with, then a hairdresser appointment is unlikely to go well.
I think you should show her some pics and ask if she is interested.

Bribe her for hairwashing / combing - whatever works, sweets chocolates anything. And make it gentle for her. Lashings of coconut oil to detangle with your fingers (using the tail end of a comb if you need leverage into a dread) and never comb or brush it dry. In the bath use baby shampoo so it doesn’t burn and finish with leave in conditioner or coconut oil so it doesn’t tangle as it dries.

It probably needs to be a lot shorter.

Need a picture!

Assuming she has long hair because she wants long hair, you need to have a proper chat with her. I had this with my DD when she was also 3 funnily enough. Every morning was a battle to brush it, and washing it was a nightmare. She used to scream and thrash around. It was hell. So I gave her the choice; either have your hair cut into a manageable style (and showed her some pics on Pinterest) or, if you want long hair, accept that we have to take care of it, including brushing and washing. These things are non-negotiable.

God, the angst that surrounds cutting a toddlers hair is bloody crazy. It’s not cruel for fuck sake.

Plaits and Argan oil- a life saver in my house. And a tangle teezer brush. I found some of the baby shampoos actually made my wavy dds hair dryer and more tangled

Isn't it just msellany. I have a shaved head. I'm still a fucking woman, last time I checked. Shave it off op if it helps! People need to get over it. Girl has short hair...oh the horror!

the angst that surrounds cutting a toddlers hair is bloody crazy. It’s not cruel for fuck sake.

Where did she say “cut”?

She said “shave”.

How many three year olds do you see with their head shaved bald? Of either sex? Most people will assume the child has cancer or another health condition which caused them to lose their hair.

Of course it’s cruel.

@frenchonion I think it’s the fact it was the OP that said about shaving.
There was no indication that the DD wanted her head shaved.
I’m assuming OP would talk to her DD and not force her into having it shaved.

I do my 2 and a half year old son's with the clippers on the longest setting and he suits it. I wouldn't shave my daughter's though. Even though she's only 3 she could feel conscious of it when she sees other little girls with hair.

I took some scissors to my own hair at around that age and ended up having to have my hair short to even it all out. It actually looked really cute. I still err towards shorter styles now.

My DD was the same and isnt much better now she is 6. Some things we do are shampoo her hair and then use a leave in spray conditioner once she's out of the bath. I'm brushing it every day when she is cooperative but when she isn't I wait until she's asleep and comb it through. If I don't give it a good comb while she's sleeping it gets awful tangoes. Thankfully she's just starting to be interested in her hair and has started asking for different plaits etc so we're beginning to be able to keep it knot free. You have my sympathy though it can be really difficult if they are uncooperative

shave it - it's sooo hot, it'll grow again, but keep it short, or take some of the advice above on avoiding tangles.

I once upset a very expensive hairdresser by saying 'try it it'll always grow again" when he suggested something new

Take the clippers to it.

It's not cruel.

It's not different for girls than it is for boys.

Wipe the slate clean!

Ha love the responses that assume I've been neglecting her in some way! She has a hair wash weekly and we brush daily, with tangle teaser (these are great but didn't solve the whole issue).

When I say matted I mean she has a few large knots, not a huge single dreadlock. And she has a chin length bob atm anyway, had regular hair cuts at salon until lockdown.

Whoever suggested leave in Conditioner and combing thanks, I'm going to try that.

Shaving suspended... for now!