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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to put something in the space between two garages

115 replies

jackdawdawn · 12/08/2020 21:46

There is a gap of about two feet between my garage and my neighbour's, and I'm not sure who owns it - it's just the boundary really. Anyway, today I put an old boulder (about the size of a brick) in there out of the way, and my neighbour (elderly but still perfectly OK and not with any issues I know about), came charging out to complain. Are they just being a bit batty? I mean, the world is crisis with disease and the economy tanking, and someone is worried about that? Are people just getting hung up on silly pettiness with lockdown, or did I commit some heinous faux pas?

OP posts:
FlySheMust · 13/08/2020 15:23

@Grobagsforever

My young people don't think their elders owe them anything, they were happy to protect their older relatives. But then they aren't sociopaths with overactive imaginations.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 15:24

@Illegitiminoncarborundum No I don't think that, I think it wouldn't kill the older generation to show some acknowledgment and gratitude. That's all.

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 15:29

[quote Grobagsforever]@LakieLady - The cold winter sound grim. But now the planet is literally DYING, Nothing trumps this. This is the legacy we have left for young ppl. Rise of fascism, resource wars, forest fires, famine etc etc.

Boomers will never have to face that. That IS a fact,

I'm sorry you're in pain WFH, that sucks. [/quote]
Rise of fascism, resource wars, forest fires, famine etc etc.

So the boomers are responsible for young people becoming fascists and going to war? I’d love to see the stories about elderly people setting forests alight, causing droughts, etc that lead to famine. I’m waiting for you to accuse the four horsemen of the apocalypse of being boomers. 🤣

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 15:32

[quote Grobagsforever]@Illegitiminoncarborundum No I don't think that, I think it wouldn't kill the older generation to show some acknowledgment and gratitude. That's all. [/quote]
I’m sure my elderly friend would I’ve to thank them, but she’s dead from COVID. How utterly selfish of her, not to mention the 20 odd elderly people who died in the nursing home on the road behind me. What selfish fuckers, for not thanking the young people before they died.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 13/08/2020 16:02

I think there are three of us concerned about this 'brick-sized boulder'. That's OP, the little old lady (who may or may not be batty - that has still to be established) and myself.

What is going on? Confused

MountainDweller · 13/08/2020 16:31

OP, I think these are stressful times so small things are taking on greater significance for people. My neighbours are at war over a right of way (luckily for us, with each other, not us). I do think it would be a good idea to find out who owns what in the passageway though.

I cannot bear the sweeping generalisations about 'boomers', which seem to include everyone over 50. I think in reality they can only refer to very rich people, as it certainly doesn't apply to anyone in my parents generation (70s) or mine (50s).

There are no boomers in my blood family. My parents are just too old and I am just too young. My parents lived through many years of rationing. Their first flat together only had an outside toilet. My mum has a food diary from when I was 2-3 listing what she and I were eating (my father worked away). For example, for dinner between us: one egg, scrambled, one slice of bread, toasted.

My DH, on the other hand, just counts as a boomer, being 57. We had to wait until we were in our 40s to buy a house and now have a huge mortgage. Our parents weren't rich enough to help us onto the property ladder and the cost of rent meant little chance to save for a deposit. In the 1990s we both worked full time in decent jobs and struggled to get by due to the cost of rent/commuting (in my 20s, in a shared flat, I spent half my take-home pay on London rent). DH will be working till he's 72 to keep paying the mortgage. We will get little inheritance from our parents; both fathers are dead already (mine at only 71, having worked his whole life and never retired), and their modest homes will probably be sold to pay for care.

I am not looking for sympathy at all, in fact our life is perfectly fine. I imagine lots of people our age (maybe couples with one 'boomer') are in the same situation. We are not on the breadline, but we are certainly not rich.

Can anyone explain where all that boomer wealth is? I'd love to get my hands on it!

Hingeandbracket · 13/08/2020 16:49

[quote Grobagsforever]@Ylfa I don't hate Boomers, I hate petty, ungrateful boomers who won't acknowledge the sacrifices of younger ppl. Obviously boomers are a mixed bunch like any other generation. But I'm yet to hear many admit what young ppl went through to protect them in this lockdown. Is it so hard just to admit that? [/quote]
Can you explain what it is that young people "went through" in lockdown that "boomers" did not?

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 13/08/2020 20:02

Any news on the boulder...?

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 20:08

@WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat

Any news on the boulder...?
I think it may have decided to roll away, as it didn’t want to get involved in the argument. Grin
Witchend · 13/08/2020 20:10

I think the boulder is sitting on grobag's shoulder.

HeronLanyon · 13/08/2020 20:25

Move the boulder op.
Deal with it yourself not hide it in the gap.
As for your neighbour she does sound as though she was rude or abrupt. Bear in mind a lot of older people have been very isolated for a variety of reasons and may not be well socialised !!! (are any of us ?).
She won’t be able to move it herself nor should she have to. It’s yours lit it somewhere in your space before you repatriate it to its home beach (sounds like more fly tipping to me) Grin

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 14/08/2020 07:01

Sleepless night worrying about the boulder.

One thought came to mind at about 3:00 a.m. - at what point does a boulder become a boulder? To me 'brick-sized' is a large stone, whereas I think of a boulder being considerably larger; something I (nor an elderly lady) would not be able to lift. But I digress... oh, and another thing where did this boulder come from? Boulders don't usually just appear in the garden like mushrooms. Questions, questions.

These are indeed worrying times...

HeronLanyon · 14/08/2020 07:23

I too have been struck by the use of the word boulder.

The gap is 2 feet. I suppose a stone/rock of 2 feet by say 3 feet could be called a boulder. I know I would call it a large rock.

For something to be called a boulder it needs to be in
Mountainous terrain surely? A cabin in the rockies say could easily have a boulder in the ‘garden’ but a semi in,say, Nuneaton could never have a boulder lying around.

All very troubling and that next door neighbour was right to speak up and speak out.

Somanysocks · 14/08/2020 07:52

Well this thread took a strange turn.

Nanny0gg · 14/08/2020 07:54

@jackdawdawn

It has to be said that some older people have an attitude to their property that verges on paranoia. Why do we see so few kids in the street nowadays? Most parents (many of whom rent) are terrified of the kids causing 'bother', kicking balls or making a noise. People are increasingly wary of even letting cats out - more complaints.
What? That their property is their own?

And children don't play out so much now often due to their own parents' paranoia.

Nanny0gg · 14/08/2020 07:59

[quote Grobagsforever]@Witchend - whilst you make some valid points, climate change and the rise of fascism trumps all of that. That is the legacy young ppl have to deal with. Rising interest rates are child's play in comparison. [/quote]
Because no-one under the age of 50 contributes to climate change. And no one over the age of 50 is doing anything about it.

And of course, it was deliberate. We've always known about the damage from fossil fuels.

Nanny0gg · 14/08/2020 08:01

[quote Grobagsforever]@Illegitiminoncarborundum No I don't think that, I think it wouldn't kill the older generation to show some acknowledgment and gratitude. That's all. [/quote]
I'm not sure if that's the funniest or most stupid thing I've ever read on here.

I'll give it some thought

Hmmph · 14/08/2020 08:14

I want to know why the boulder is being taken to the beach...

Wtfdoipick · 14/08/2020 08:18

[quote Grobagsforever]@Ylfa I don't hate Boomers, I hate petty, ungrateful boomers who won't acknowledge the sacrifices of younger ppl. Obviously boomers are a mixed bunch like any other generation. But I'm yet to hear many admit what young ppl went through to protect them in this lockdown. Is it so hard just to admit that? [/quote]
I could be wrong but I thought boomers aren't old enough to come under the vulnerable category for covid, it's the older generation.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 14/08/2020 08:28

Just had a thought whilst in the shower, OP referred to the object as an 'old boulder' putting the issue of size to one side for the moment. I've always thought of boulders as being 'old' being initially created when the earth was in its formative years, perhaps a huge rocky outcrop broke away as a result of tectonic action and then being worn down over million of years by rain and sea to become a boulder.

The only 'new boulders' that I can think of are those at Disneyland and they are probably hollow and made of glass fibre. I suspect even an elderly lady could shift one with of those.

Back to the 'brick-sized boulder' an easy solution to getting rid of it might be to just bury it the garden or perhaps even start a rockery?

ToelessPobble · 14/08/2020 08:33

While we are at it, I must remind my parents to thank me personally as they had to shield, and my friend needing a lung transplant and my friend with severe asthma. They should be more grateful to me and send a thank you card to everyone they know with kids. I obviously would have been completely happy for me and the kids to have got covid as it is a bit like Russian roulette as to how it would affect me, so would be quite fun not to have locked down and see 🙄

On the boomers front, I'm not quite seeing how they have destroyed the environment any more than we are now. We are so convinced that we are such an aware generation but I confess to having used disposable nappies when my mum used cloth, we have two cars to get to work whereas there was a family car growing up and many more people fly on holiday (did before kids) but never did growing up and it was significantly rarer for people to fly. I don't remember us ever filling more than one bin a week and it wasn't a huge wheelie him so we had less waste. There is also more of a demand for palm oil and soya etc now. We need to be more aware of the environment now as we are destroying it at a faster rate through our lifestyle and I am not blaming my parents for that.

It is incredibly sad that house prices are as they are but horribly that is how supply and demand works. Just look at the prices of cats and dogs in lockdown. Shall I blame the boomers for that too?

What Boulder is everyone referring to? 😂

stillfeelingmad · 14/08/2020 08:38

@Grobagsforever I'm a little younger than you and my partners business was decimated by this. We've had to put off ttc which has broken my heart a bit.

And you know what? I still don't think anyone should be fucking 'grateful' to us for doing the right thing and remaining home.

What about the disabled vulnerable people we did it to protect or pregnant ladies or newborn babies. Shall I go door to door collecting my thank you?!

You do it because it's the right thing to do not because someone's going to come and pay you on the back you numpty.

And FYI there's a lot of shy tories among the young and I dont know a single older member of my family who didn't vote labour.

Popping out to my SIL now to help with her baby. She's struggling after losing her mum to Covid. I'll be sure to ask her to get her Dad to say "thank you" Angry

Nanny0gg · 14/08/2020 09:08

[quote Grobagsforever]@LakieLady - The cold winter sound grim. But now the planet is literally DYING, Nothing trumps this. This is the legacy we have left for young ppl. Rise of fascism, resource wars, forest fires, famine etc etc.

Boomers will never have to face that. That IS a fact,

I'm sorry you're in pain WFH, that sucks. [/quote]
Bet we get the blame for the next Ice Age too.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 14/08/2020 10:47

I think perhaps that some people have lost sight of the original issue here. They need to calm down and focus on what is important. I suggest what we need is:

  1. OP to provide photograph of 'brick-sized boulder'
  1. OP to draw diagram of the two garages and the space between them. (please indicate location of 'brick-sized boulder'.
  1. An apology from the Scandinavian countries re: the Vikings who invaded and pillaged the British Isles which has possibly originated the mess we now find ourselves in.

Note: Point 3 is not OP's responsibility.

LillianBland · 14/08/2020 11:27

3 An apology from the Scandinavian countries re: the Vikings who invaded and pillaged the British Isles which has possibly originated the mess we now find ourselves in.

Ahem. looks across Irish Sea.