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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to put something in the space between two garages

115 replies

jackdawdawn · 12/08/2020 21:46

There is a gap of about two feet between my garage and my neighbour's, and I'm not sure who owns it - it's just the boundary really. Anyway, today I put an old boulder (about the size of a brick) in there out of the way, and my neighbour (elderly but still perfectly OK and not with any issues I know about), came charging out to complain. Are they just being a bit batty? I mean, the world is crisis with disease and the economy tanking, and someone is worried about that? Are people just getting hung up on silly pettiness with lockdown, or did I commit some heinous faux pas?

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 13/08/2020 00:33

Just a large stone fgs, bit heavy for bin, don't want anyone to trip on it.
Where did you get it from? Confused. How long has it been a trip hazard in your garden?!

jackdawdawn · 13/08/2020 00:39

It has to be said that some older people have an attitude to their property that verges on paranoia. Why do we see so few kids in the street nowadays? Most parents (many of whom rent) are terrified of the kids causing 'bother', kicking balls or making a noise. People are increasingly wary of even letting cats out - more complaints.

OP posts:
ConfessionsOfAChocoholic · 13/08/2020 00:59

Just a large stone fgs, bit heavy for bin, don't want anyone to trip on it.

Can you not just put it in your garage?

rosiejaune · 13/08/2020 01:10

@Weirdwonders

Your attitude is the shitty one Grobags. I’m sick to death of reading generalisations like yours. What the fuck would you have done differently in their place? What are you doing now to pass on the wealth and opportunities you don’t realise you're accumulating and hoarding?

OP move your boulder.

They probably aren't accumulating or hoarding any wealth (at least not more than their fair share). The whole point is the current older generation have accumulated it disproportionately compared to previous generations, so there's none left for anyone else.

It isn't working how it used to, where it got passed on gradually. It's getting stuck at the top. Look at the data.

Witchend · 13/08/2020 01:25

It's funny how attitudes like grobags seem to be growing.

Baby boomers were born after ww2. Many of them will have experienced rationing, things not being available. Their parents were unlikely to have been untouched by the war, have lost close family, friends. Many of their parents would have had undiagnosed and untreated mental health issues from the war. PTSD was not really recognised.
If they did buy a house, then they had to get around 20% deposit, and would have had interest rates of 10%+ on the mortgage.

Now say they had it easy.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 07:03

@LakieLady - No I'm not blaming boomers for COViD, except the ones that run the country,

I am however sick of their lack of appreciation of what the rest of the country has sacrificed to protect them and that's why I get cross when they pull petty shit,

I'm just mad and sad. Desperately sad for young ppl. Desperately mad at the boomers who voted the Tories in, who then protected the grey vote in COVID rather than a more intelligent, balanced policy,

Not all boomers are ungrateful and petty, obviously. But many seem to be. I miss my grandparents generation, they actually did live through the war.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 07:06

@Witchend - boomers enjoyed all the benefits of technology and travel but will never have to face the consequences of climate change.

They enjoyed peace in Europe and will never have to face the consequences of Brexit

They enjoyed job security and good pensions, massively rising property wealth,

Just because around 10 percent of them experienced rationing as children doesn't mean that had it hard, they ARE spoilt. And young ppl are left to pay the price.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 07:07

@jackdawdawn My boomer neighbours told me to spray my cat with bleach during COVID 😂

Felifox · 13/08/2020 07:33

@Grobagsforever My dsis had her surveyor's fees paid when the end terrace lowered the ceilings to put in a loft. As she is mid terrace she has to pay her own and both adjoining neighbours' surveyors.

The end terrace opposite had a side extension built, it was sold and the new owners put a loft extension across the whole house. It was sold to a couple with a new baby. Their front door dropped and just as their second dc arrived they had two years of arguing how this occurred. Due to building regs the side extension had deeper foundations. The couple's insurance co went back to both their surveyor and the previous surveyors before underpinning both their house and next doors. Was the loft too heavy? It took a couple of years to sort out the liability for this and they had scaffolding up. So the surveyor isn't pointless if there is a building issue later on.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 07:40

@Felifox Oh I know I don't think party wall is always pointless, but in my case it honestly was as my neighbour asked for a full survey (costing 1000 pounds) and then denied the surveyor access.

He might as well have set fire to my bank account just to enforce his 'rights'.

Witchend · 13/08/2020 08:54

[quote Grobagsforever]@Witchend - boomers enjoyed all the benefits of technology and travel but will never have to face the consequences of climate change.

They enjoyed peace in Europe and will never have to face the consequences of Brexit

They enjoyed job security and good pensions, massively rising property wealth,

Just because around 10 percent of them experienced rationing as children doesn't mean that had it hard, they ARE spoilt. And young ppl are left to pay the price. [/quote]
You really don't have a clue do you?

Boomers are people born between 1944 and 1964. Rationing ended in 1954-and lots of things were still in short supply even after that. So well more than 10% of them experienced rationing. Prices of items were relatively expensive too, and you were limited to what shops near you had.

They had parents who had suffered loss in WWII, and many of those parents would have had undiagnosed mental health issues associated with WWII. We call it PTSD now. Then, it was unrecognised. That will have effected their childhoods.

They had the fear of the cold war, fear of nuclear war was real. Northern Ireland was also a worry. I remember my uncle, who was in the army, having to check under his car for bombs every time he went out. I remember being stopped at a roadblock to have the car searched when there was a political party conference. I remember running with my parents when there had been a bomb threat in town. It was a very real fear.

Job security? In May this year the unemployment rate was around 4%.(I've just checked) In the 80s it was closer to 12%. Redundancies were happening all over, and often without much of a nice redundancy cheque you'd expect to get today.

And if we also go back to the 80s, the interest rates went up to 15% so yes the housing may have been cheaper, but they were paying a heck of a lot of interest. They also had to raise around 20% deposit and would only be given around 4 times salary for a mortgage.

I really don't think you can say they enjoyed the benefits of technology more than the current generation. Things have moved on fast in the last 40 years. 40 years ago I still knew people who didn't have telephones in their house. The home computer had 8k memory.

As for travel. In my childhood I only recall one family going abroad for holidays. Everyone else holidayed in the UK, or not at all. My parents have not been abroad since 1971, when they went on honeymoon for 3 days to France. Lots of their friends are similar.
Now, holidays abroad are thought of as a right-and not by the boomers, but the current generations. How many times have you been abroad? I assume you've given up flying due to climate change?

Moaning about them being spoilt, and you being hard done by makes you just look entitled. All generations have their hard parts and all generations have their easy parts. Dismissing the hard parts of other generations simply shows you don't understand it.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 09:24

@Witchend - whilst you make some valid points, climate change and the rise of fascism trumps all of that. That is the legacy young ppl have to deal with. Rising interest rates are child's play in comparison.

Yellowbutterfly1 · 13/08/2020 09:33

If theirs and their neighbours deeds don’t show either of them as owning it (ie:outlined in red) and there is no mention of it on the land registry then does anyone have the right to put something in the gap?

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 09:50

[quote Grobagsforever]@Witchend - boomers enjoyed all the benefits of technology and travel but will never have to face the consequences of climate change.

They enjoyed peace in Europe and will never have to face the consequences of Brexit

They enjoyed job security and good pensions, massively rising property wealth,

Just because around 10 percent of them experienced rationing as children doesn't mean that had it hard, they ARE spoilt. And young ppl are left to pay the price. [/quote]
And boomers invented many of the luxury items that you see as ‘essential’. They’ve also fought long and hard for women’s rights, including making it illegal for men to have the right to rape their wives, women’s and rape crisis shelters, women’s sports, etc, which many of this generation are happily giving away in the name of ‘inclusivity’. What have you done, other that whinge and show spiteful jealousy and blame everyone for your own failures in life?

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 09:54

[quote Grobagsforever]@jackdawdawn My boomer neighbours told me to spray my cat with bleach during COVID 😂[/quote]
My young neighbours and their friends believe that people can actually change sex. I know which ones I’d laugh at loudest. Did they try to ‘cancel’ you when you said it wouldn’t work. 🤣

Hingeandbracket · 13/08/2020 09:57

Desperately mad at the boomers who voted the Tories in, who then protected the grey vote in COVID rather than a more intelligent, balanced policy,
I am getting really sick of this fucking ridiculous narrative. Everyone can vote.
I am that hated and hateful species the boomer. I have never voted fucking Tory in my life yet I am being tarred with the same brush by ignorant tosses with no capacity for logic.

LakieLady · 13/08/2020 10:00

@Grobagsforever, I'm 65 (today!) and don't get any pension at all fpr another year, so I'm still working. When I do, my state pension will be a princely £175 pw, with approx £250 a month private pension.

Most of my employers didn't have occupational pension schemes and I could never afford private provision.

I'm very sorry that I bought a house for £24k in 1982, sold it for £50k and the house I bought for the same price is now worth £450k, but keeping my first house for 10 years nearly killed me. Interest rates were so high (over 15% at one point) that at one time I had 3 jobs so I could cover the payments AND I had to have a lodger for all that time as well. Paying that mortgage was so crippling that I couldn't afford to run a car until I was well into my 30s.

The equity in my house is what will keep me in my old age.

I have never voted Tory (and neither did my parents) and have been involved in the Labour movement since I was a teenager.

I don't resent the fact that I paid the pensions of those older than me, and funded free care for the elderly for a big chunk of my working life, because I believe that was the right thing to do, but if I need care, I will fund it until what is left of my "wealth" is gone, or I die. I'm not angry, or bitter, it is what it is.

And it is not just the old who have died or been protected from Covid, it's everyone. Just look at the long-term effects of Covid some younger people are experiencing.

Blame the bloody government for the shambles that was lockdown, which started far too late and consequently went on too long, and their failure to introduce quarantine at an early stage.

You've sacrificed nothing for me, or for those like me who are still working and have worked throughout lockdown. Or even for my lovely MIL who, at 82, has self-isolated and is still not going out, but has extended her "bubble" to include her children and their partners.

Every generation has advantages and disadvantages. They're just different ones.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 10:10

@LillianBland - I don't blame anyone for my failures, I own them - just because I'm angry at the world young people will inherit it doesn't mean I don't accept personal responsibility.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 10:12

@LakieLady - No, I'm 39, I haven't made particular sacrifice on lockdown.

I assure you some young people and children have had their lives destroyed though. They did that for you. Just say thank you, the same way we thank war hero's. That's all.

SerenDippitty · 13/08/2020 10:14

I'm just mad and sad. Desperately sad for young ppl. Desperately mad at the boomers who voted the Tories in, who then protected the grey vote in COVID rather than a more intelligent, balanced policy,

I and most of my boomer friends are Labour voters. The Tories got in just as much because of younger people who aren’t engaged with politics at all.

CherryValanc · 13/08/2020 10:24

On the property wealth / hoarding, if your neighbour is a baby boomer isnt there a good change your property is in and around the same value?

@jackdawdawn if your neighbour came "charging' out are they (nimble) curtain-twitchers?

DishingOutDone · 13/08/2020 10:25

So you see OP it really IS a controversial brick/stone ...

Back in the real world, we have a similar gap between our garages and the elderly people next door filled it with crap, wood, a ladder, broken flower pots etc., they treated it as their storage facility. I agree with people who say she probably thinks you are going to fill it up with crap so has leapt on you straight away. You don't seem to have much experience of how to get along with neighbours, that's more the issue here.

And I think some other posters need to start their own threads!

AngelsWithSilverWings · 13/08/2020 10:35

This boomer bashing comes up often on here. My parents are boomers and you'd be lucky to have them as neighbours. My Dad is still the one all the younger neighbours go to they if they have problems with their car or house or just want advice on how to fix or maintain something. He's the one who will mow your lawn for you because he's out doing his anyway and my parents are always feeding cats or fish or whatever while neighbours are away. They are 75.

What's lovely is that all the neighbours have been knocking during Covid and offering all sorts of support to them ( they think it's sweet but also funny because they don't see themselves as elderly! )

Oh and they are staunch remainers and apart from defecting temporarily to the Lib Dems because they didn't like Corbyn they have been life long labour voters.

They really struggled financially throughout the 70s and 80s and didn't have it easy at all. Thankfully they are very comfortable now and I'm really happy for them.

Just find out who owns the land and then respect the boundary.

EvilPea · 13/08/2020 10:38

Surely the gap is a maintenance gap so you can both repair and maintain your garages?
I’d be annoyed too

SaintWilfred · 13/08/2020 10:42

The reality is, you are born in the time you are born. That's what you get.

Banging on about whether someone else had it easier is wasting your own time on bitterness that will fuck up your life.

OP, find out who owns the passageway. If it's not you, then move the brick.