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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to put something in the space between two garages

115 replies

jackdawdawn · 12/08/2020 21:46

There is a gap of about two feet between my garage and my neighbour's, and I'm not sure who owns it - it's just the boundary really. Anyway, today I put an old boulder (about the size of a brick) in there out of the way, and my neighbour (elderly but still perfectly OK and not with any issues I know about), came charging out to complain. Are they just being a bit batty? I mean, the world is crisis with disease and the economy tanking, and someone is worried about that? Are people just getting hung up on silly pettiness with lockdown, or did I commit some heinous faux pas?

OP posts:
heartsonacake · 13/08/2020 10:42

YABU. You have just dumped it there with no thought or regard to who owns that land and no action plan as to when or how you will remove it.

thegcatsmother · 13/08/2020 11:27

My Mum was born in 1940, my Dad in 1941. My maternal grandparents, who died in 1978 and 1979 respectively, didn't ever have a bathroom. The loo was outside, and you washed in the kitchen sink, or had a tin bath filled up and had a bath in the kitchen.

My paternal grandmother, who died in 2006, and was born in 1912, didn't have an indoor loo or bathroom until her l/l insisted on putting one in when I was about 15, in the early 80s.

Thus, both my parents grew up without having bathrooms indoors. Neither set of grandparents had central heating, and neither did my parents in their house until I was about 11. No TV at my paternal grandmother's ever, and no telephone at either set of grandparents until my parents insisted.

The current generation has always funded the older generations since NI came in, who in turn, have done the same themselves. I remember when my paternal grandmother got her state pension, she had never been so well off, and she cried that the money was given without her needing to work.

I'm not a boomer, but dh is, but I wouldn't say that he grew up in luxury either, and the interest rates that we paid were truly astronomical. I remember being delighted just before Black Wednesday to have a 10.8% fix, and then the rates spiked to 18% briefly, before coming back down.

As for peace in Europe, that's a relatively new concept. The Berlin wall didn't fall til 1989, Portugal didn't become a democracy til 1974, and Spain til 75-77. Germany didn't become one country til 1990.

Whilst youngsters are benefiting from low mortgage rates today, the older generations who rely on interest from savings, are losing out. It's swings and roundabouts, for each generation.

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 11:46

[quote Grobagsforever]@LakieLady - No, I'm 39, I haven't made particular sacrifice on lockdown.

I assure you some young people and children have had their lives destroyed though. They did that for you. Just say thank you, the same way we thank war hero's. That's all. [/quote]
Are you seriously comparing people sitting in their homes, watching Netflix and messing about on computers, while home educating their children, to people being expected to shoot and bomb others and potentially dying in war or being left with PTSD?

You seriously want to be thanked for not being able to go out for coffee, shopping, etc in order to prevent passing on a virus that could kill a vulnerable person? It’s not enough for you to just do the decent thing! Holy fuck! Your level of ignorance is astonishing!

FlySheMust · 13/08/2020 11:54

I assure you some young people and children have had their lives destroyed though. They did that for you. Just say thank you, the same way we thank war hero's. That's all.

Such utter bollocks, @Grobagsforever

Destroyed?

Get a grip.

AlwaysLatte · 13/08/2020 11:55

You shouldn't put anything there as it will encourage damp and you need to keep it clear for maintenance.

Namechangedforthis1357 · 13/08/2020 12:05

Why do we see so few kids in the street nowadays?

Because they'd rather be inside playing on the Xbox, PlayStation etc.

BeaUnder · 13/08/2020 12:18

Love this thread. Bonkers.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 12:32

@FlySheMust - check out the rise in mental health problems and suicide in young ppl in lockdown.

Check out the rising child poverty and abuse stats.

I'm no talking about not being able to go out for coffee FFS. I am talking about actual, human suffering.

Stop being denial. Acknowledge the sacrifice. That's all.

I'm not talking about me. I'm 39, lockdown has been fine for me. I'm talking about the enormous human cost of lockdown for young ppl.

FlySheMust · 13/08/2020 12:59

[quote Grobagsforever]@FlySheMust - check out the rise in mental health problems and suicide in young ppl in lockdown.

Check out the rising child poverty and abuse stats.

I'm no talking about not being able to go out for coffee FFS. I am talking about actual, human suffering.

Stop being denial. Acknowledge the sacrifice. That's all.

I'm not talking about me. I'm 39, lockdown has been fine for me. I'm talking about the enormous human cost of lockdown for young ppl. [/quote]
Not sure why you think the Boomers are to blame for all that.

You have a real bee in your bonnet and you seem unable to think logically because you are blinded by hatred for older people.

That's a bit sick.

Every generation makes sacrifices. The boomers have died in disproportional number thanks to gov cock ups. I think that's enough suffering and sacrifice. How many more would deaths would stop you moaning?

You really do need to get a grip, you are sounding deranged.

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 13:11

I’m not talking about me. I'm 39, lockdown has been fine for me. I'm talking about the enormous human cost of lockdown for young ppl.

So you’re slabbering about a generation that you know nothing off and talking about the loses that other people, not you, have suffered. How nice for you, that you can try to virtual signal from a place of privilege.

I’m one of the many who have list mouth and I’m also one of the ones that has someone to protect from this virus. You don’t get to abuse the older generation in my name.

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 13:12

*lost much

LakieLady · 13/08/2020 13:44

We lived in a flat with no bathroom and an outside lav until I was nearly 11 @thegcatsmother.

During the bitter winter of 1962/63, the water in the cistern froze and if you wanted a crap, my dad had to boil a kettle (on the gas stove), go outside and gently thaw the water so that we could flush the bog. We had coal fires and coal was running low because the lorries couldn't deliver. We spent a fortnight living in one room so we could leave the others unheated, because we didn't want the coal to run out.

When we moved to a newly-built council flat, with hot running water all year round and a plumbed-in bath in an actual bathroom, it was like being in a luxury hotel.

LillianBland · 13/08/2020 13:49

When we moved to a newly-built council flat, with hot running water all year round and a plumbed-in bath in an actual bathroom, it was like being in a luxury hotel.

Did you do the same as me? We had no electric and I remember being told off as I was caught flicking the light switch on and off, because we didn’t have electric in our old house. Talk about easily amused. Grin I’m the child of boomers, so I want to know where this mythical wealth is.

SerenDippitty · 13/08/2020 13:51

The Boomer generation also had the 1970s miners strike which resulted in nightly power cuts. The deep freeze of 1963 lasted from December until March, the coldest winter in living memory.

LakieLady · 13/08/2020 13:54

I assure you some young people and children have had their lives destroyed though. They did that for you. Just say thank you, the same way we thank war hero's. That's all

They have plenty of life left ahead of them in which to recover, unlike the 6 clients I know who have taken their lives since lockdown started. They were unable to access the MH centres that were their lifeline, and support by phone or Zoom couldn't meet their needs.

My workload has trebled since lockdown, and I've been struggling to work from my dining table, without a printer or a monitor, using my own laptop. I've been inundated with requests for benefit advice from clients, all of whom have MH problems. My arthritis is killing me because I haven't got a proper chair or desk or anywhere to put one. I don't expect thanks, I'm just getting on with what needs to be done in difficult times.

And to liken kids who've had to miss school, their friends and stay indoors to war heroes is insulting to actual war heroes, some of whom are among my clients.

Ylfa · 13/08/2020 13:56

Hatred of entire groups of people is so horrifying yet fascinating, we can’t successfully tackle racism or ageism or ableism or whatever without learning more about how and why these views develop. But I always run out of the will to listen.

NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite · 13/08/2020 13:59

Can we have a diagram? Grin

thegcatsmother · 13/08/2020 14:10

My young person lives with us, is supported by us, and appears to have dealt with lockdown just fine. I'd far rather lockdown than the blitz, for example.

WhoWouldHaveThoughtThat · 13/08/2020 14:34

Anyway, about the brick-sized boulder...

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 14:52

@LakieLady - The cold winter sound grim. But now the planet is literally DYING, Nothing trumps this. This is the legacy we have left for young ppl. Rise of fascism, resource wars, forest fires, famine etc etc.

Boomers will never have to face that. That IS a fact,

I'm sorry you're in pain WFH, that sucks.

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 14:54

@Ylfa I don't hate Boomers, I hate petty, ungrateful boomers who won't acknowledge the sacrifices of younger ppl. Obviously boomers are a mixed bunch like any other generation. But I'm yet to hear many admit what young ppl went through to protect them in this lockdown. Is it so hard just to admit that?

BeaUnder · 13/08/2020 14:54

@NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite GrinWine

Grobagsforever · 13/08/2020 14:55

@thegcatsmother so because your ONE young person is fine....

My young ppl are also fine. But I can see past the end of own nose.

Illegitiminoncarborundum · 13/08/2020 15:13

@Grobagsforever

You're the issue because you're one of those who say "well you've got it better than be and therefore you should be nothing less than eternally grateful"

thegcatsmother · 13/08/2020 15:21

As can I Grobags and I cannot see that this is any worse than the mid 80s when unemployment was high and jobs were hard to come by when you'd just done your A levels. We were worried then about the IRA, nuclear war, the rise of Communism. Resources wars were going on, famines were on going, remember Band Aid; there is nothing new in what you are saying, and you sound a tad hysterical.

During lockdown there have been myriad forms of entertainment, and the internet is there for research and work if needed. I really don't see that being stuck at home equates to the sacrifices made during war. We haven't had a mark daubed on the door and boards nailed across the doors and windows to prevent us going out as in earlier times with plague.

I think you need to get a grip.

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