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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was this cheeky or not?

74 replies

Alison421 · 12/08/2020 20:30

I want an unbiased opinion as possible as other similar things have been happening so I need to get opinions on whether my initial judgement is right or clouded!

Moved into neighbourhood a year ago and one of neighbours turned up to introduce herself and her kids. Whilst we were chatting away her kids helped themselves to ice lollies from my freezer. The mother noticed and just laughed. I felt really uncomfortable as they were dripping on my furniture and carpet but the mother did nothing to stop them. I know at the time I should have been assertive and asked them to use tissues to soak up the dripping but I didn’t.

The more I’m getting to know this woman and her kids the more I’m realising she just lets them do what they want and doesn’t seem to be any discipline. It’s a really nice neighbourhood and properties are expensive so it’s not that they can’t afford food or stuff.

This is Cheeky? How would you have honestly reacted?

OP posts:
Wrenna · 12/08/2020 20:34

It’s definitely cheeky! I also had one of ds friends who was about 6 or 7 around with his mum. He started opening up our refrigerator and cabinets and his mother laughed also! I did say to the boy, ‘can I help you?’ His mum was offended. I never had him over again.

justthecat · 12/08/2020 20:34

Nobody would walk into my house and let their kids raid my freezer. Full stop !!

MrsA2015 · 12/08/2020 20:34

Wtf, don’t let them in your house again and if you do definitely take it upon yourself to clearly state you expect to be asked!

Myneighboursnorlax · 12/08/2020 20:34

I know at the time I should have been assertive and asked them to use tissues to soak up the dripping but I didn’t.

Is this a joke? That still wouldn’t have been being assertive. You needed to say “can you put those back in the freezer please? It’s not polite to take things without asking”. Or something along those lines.

Smallsteps88 · 12/08/2020 20:37

I can’t believe you said nothing when they went to your freezer!! Shock

I’d have said “oh, those are for my DC/grandkids/nephews. can you leave them back please.”

Original poster
Alison421 · 12/08/2020 20:37

This was the first time I ever met her. I’ve not invited her around EVER but she has turned up on some occasions and I’ve felt I’ve had to say “do you want to come in?”. I really find her kids out of control and I know mine aren’t little angels but I’d be mortified if they did things like this!

OP posts:
InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 12/08/2020 20:39

'Excuse me, no one asked you to go into my freezer. I'm afraid that's off limits to you,' and then moved them away from it. Then cut the conversation short and ushered them to the door. Duh. There's not being assertive and being a total wet lettuce.

Original poster
Alison421 · 12/08/2020 20:39

@Myneighboursnorlax I really wish I was like you! But I cannot imagine saying that at all.

OP posts:
Original poster
Alison421 · 12/08/2020 20:41

@InDeoEstMeaFiducia lol! I cannot imagine myself saying that!

Thank you everyone just wanted to clear that up as DH is saying that’s what kids are like.

OP posts:
InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 12/08/2020 20:41

@Alison421

This was the first time I ever met her. I’ve not invited her around EVER but she has turned up on some occasions and I’ve felt I’ve had to say “do you want to come in?”. I really find her kids out of control and I know mine aren’t little angels but I’d be mortified if they did things like this!
That's your lookout. If you choose to be such a walkover, people will walk all over you. 'Sorry, we're in the middle of something and can't entertain visitors just now. Bye just now,' and close the door. 'Oh, but we won't be a minute,' 'Sorry, we're in the middle of something, maybe later.' The end.
Wrenna · 12/08/2020 20:42

It is easier said than done especially when you are in shock!

Original poster
Alison421 · 12/08/2020 20:43

The thing is they brought a huge basket full of goodies as my welcome present (no one else in neighbourhood did and I definitely didn’t expect anything off anyone!) so I felt more that I couldn’t say anything.

OP posts:
Feralkidsatthecampsite · 12/08/2020 20:43

At my dd's party a dc helped himself to a lolly. Freezer was under a counter and the lid dropped down and chopped his finger off.
Ambulance arrived and I am rummaging among frozen food looking for it.
It was successfully reattached and fully functional!

InDeoEstMeaFiducia · 12/08/2020 20:43

[quote Alison421]@InDeoEstMeaFiducia lol! I cannot imagine myself saying that!

Thank you everyone just wanted to clear that up as DH is saying that’s what kids are like.[/quote]
Practice it, or you'll continually be taken advantage of. It's really not very funny because your kids will see you being taken for a mug and think that's acceptable.

BusySittingDown · 12/08/2020 20:44

I'm the least assertive person I know and even I would say "oi! Please don't go in to my freezer!"

Original poster
Alison421 · 12/08/2020 20:44

@InDeoEstMeaFiducia but I feel that would be rude as she was carrying a lovely wrapped basket for me so I couldn’t turn her away Grin

OP posts:
Smallsteps88 · 12/08/2020 20:45

I’ve felt I’ve had to say “do you want to come in?”

This reminds me of chandler in friends when he keeps saying “I’ll give you a call sometime” to Rachel’s boss! Grin

Op next time, just don’t say those words! Just stand at the door, block the doorway, chat for a few minutes then tell her you’ve got something on the hob and need to go.

Justmuddlingalong · 12/08/2020 20:45

She knows you're a soft touch now, so you need to react in a way that shows her and her kids that you've had enough. If you don't nothing will change.

tara66 · 12/08/2020 20:48

Can you get one of those door bells with visuals to see whose there and not answer?

AlCalavicci · 12/08/2020 20:49

Good lord there is no way I would of allowed them to take the lollies !

I guess they get away with it at home/ GPs / other friends so the kids dont know it is wrong but they would certainly be told in my house we do not take without asking dont ask you cheeky sods

katy1213 · 12/08/2020 20:56

This reply has been deleted

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BertieBassettsBits · 12/08/2020 21:00

I would tell them to put them back and ask the mother why she thought bad manners was funny
Why didn't you say anything when they opened the freezer?
Hand her the 'huge basket of lovely goodies' back
Shut the door, end of

Starbuggy · 12/08/2020 21:03

Stop being such a pushover that you allow random children to help themselves to stuff from your freezer and make a mess with it!

If their mother won’t stop them, it’s your house and your ice lollies so just politely tell them to put them back!

And then don’t let them in next timr

romeolovedjulliet · 12/08/2020 21:03

[quote Alison421]@InDeoEstMeaFiducia lol! I cannot imagine myself saying that!

Thank you everyone just wanted to clear that up as DH is saying that’s what kids are like.[/quote]
so your dh is another man who likes a quiet life and will let people walk over him too.

Anordinarymum · 12/08/2020 21:06

@Alison421

I want an unbiased opinion as possible as other similar things have been happening so I need to get opinions on whether my initial judgement is right or clouded!

Moved into neighbourhood a year ago and one of neighbours turned up to introduce herself and her kids. Whilst we were chatting away her kids helped themselves to ice lollies from my freezer. The mother noticed and just laughed. I felt really uncomfortable as they were dripping on my furniture and carpet but the mother did nothing to stop them. I know at the time I should have been assertive and asked them to use tissues to soak up the dripping but I didn’t.

The more I’m getting to know this woman and her kids the more I’m realising she just lets them do what they want and doesn’t seem to be any discipline. It’s a really nice neighbourhood and properties are expensive so it’s not that they can’t afford food or stuff.

This is Cheeky? How would you have honestly reacted?

OMG.. I realised my mouth had dropped open as I read this. Cheeky in the extreme but funny :)