To be shocked at how dystopian going shopping feels now?

[GratefulLove]

Today I went shopping in my town centre for the first time since early March. I just could not process how different it all is now. Last time I was in town I remember picking up a box of paracetamol and some hand sanitiser in Boots "just in case" but aside from that it all felt normal albeit a little like the calm before the storm.

Today though. Hand sanitiser everywhere, one-way systems, floor markings. Obviously I knew all this existed from social media and the news but seeing my town, my familiar town so completely different has floored me in a way I didn't expect. Shops selling hand sanitiser and masks - I expected this in Boots and other pharmacies but I didn't expect Primark to have rows and rows of hand sanitiser by the tills. I didn't expect shopping to feel so clinical, it felt like a hospital visit.

I was in one shop and there were a group of young children playing and joking around with each other. They did not have masks on and seeing them playing around just looked so normal and then I looked around and saw all the adults with masks just looking expressionless and almost soulless. It just looked so frightening.

We are months into this pandemic and I still can't believe this is all real. It still feels like a film. I don't know, with the daily conferences now a thing of the past and headlines now involving more topics than just the coronavirus it kind of felt like things were slowly getting back to normal but this really cemented that they are nowhere near normal.

Also I just want to say how much I appreciate all retail workers.

What a refreshingly positive post @VioletCharlotte

There are still many many things that we are not allowed to do, so things do not feel "normal" yet. While the golfers are proudly swinging their clubs, my sport (netball) is not allowed back, supposedly in the name of public health. It was part of my earning power; and many people's regular exercise, and Boris tells us that we're all too fat; well, that's hardly surprising if he snatches people's exercise away.

As for fear that the masks will become permanent: that is not "my" issue only, many people fear the same, as the government persists in keeping their own mouths tightly muzzled on exit strategy from these roolz. We should all be keeping an eye on this. While I don't even mind if many people choose to wear them in public for the foreseeable future, I do foresee that this rule could become permanent by stealth if we let it, and keep using the phrase (vomit) "new normal", and keep quiet and docile about the sweeping changes, even after the pandemic has passed.

Even though wearing masks may be a good thing in itself, I and many others do not want to see masks in public places being mandatory on a permanent basis, with the bullying that goes with it, which I think could easily happen if we are too accepting, and too quiet. So I shall continue to make noise about this, until we are told something about this rule being temporary (which has not happened yet).

A word which politicians love to throw around before elections is "democracy". Things feel very far removed from that right now, and let's not forget that in theory, it's impossible for a general election to happen under the status quo.

I absolutely know what you mean OP. Everything feels restrictive and unnatural. You can't find any of it enjoyable or even less than stressful because you're concentrating so hard on wearing your mask and finding it uncomfortable but not being able to touch it, trying to touch as little as possible, making sure you avoid everyone else, making sure they don't come too close to you, patiently waiting for other people to finish looking at the thing they're interested in while ensuring you don't take too long yourself because you're holding someone else up, making sure you don't miss noticing when there's a one-way system, or come forward when you aren't supposed to, thereby getting snapped at (I even managed to get snapped at by a runner the other day because I went to such lengths to keep away from her). Yes, it would have been worse in the Blitz. No, I don't want to do it if I can stay home and avoid it.

@wanderings my feelings exactly. Thanks for your post. Please do continue to make noise. 'Docile' is exactly the word. There used to be a joke about 'people in this country won't be told what to do'... how surprisingly wrong that turned out to be.

Right I'll get crucified for this but why the jeff should I wear a mask in shops seeing that in Wales you don't have to?
This is the United Kingdom the rules should be the same in all 4 countries seeing that is the UK Government & the UK Prime Minister.
I have no issue with devolved parliaments & first ministers & think it's a very good idea for things such making decisions about issues that are specific to that country.
But the health rules & guidance should be the same in all parts of the UK unless there are spikes/problems in particular areas like Leicester, Preston, Aberdeen etc.

I'm sorry UK Government you can't pick & choose the rules to fit in your narrative e.g. Brexit ignore the countries who voted to stay in the EU (Scotland)
NHS rules, it's the blooming National Health Service in the UK why the jeff should me in England have to take out a pre pay certificate to pay for my medications when if I moved to Scotland/Wales all my meds would be free.
No wonder there's so much resentment.
I never thought I'd say this but it's about time the UK was disbanded & each country rules itself.
And as I would be eligible for a Scottish passport, then I'd move there. (Do consider it from time to time)

And unless we are all wearing the highest safety standard mask available (FFP3) then what's the point, we still infect people.

Rant over

I have absolutely zero concern that mandatory mask wearing will become permanent. Never gonna happen. Sounds like complete conspiracy theory crap tbh.

Issues around masks apart, the wearing of them will be another nail in the coffin for retail. Many people are again avoiding the shops because they hate wearing masks and are just doing quick in/out for essentials. I no linger in Sainsbury and am probably spending less as a result. The days of visiting shopping centres are over for me; I was going less before Covid in any case because of the price of parking. I used to love going to my local shopping centre and looking round all the shops.

This is the ‘new normal’ and whilst I am not moaning (I hope), I don’t like it.

I think a lot of people would feel a lot better if we had some guidelines from the government as to when the mask wearing will be phased out.

It's a massive inconvenience and it's odd and given the option, we wouldn't do it.
Those are fair and reasonable points and people feeling like that is totally understandable.

Suggesting that its the start of some dystopian handmaids tale hellscape is somewhat of an overreaction when we're only all doing this to try and reduce the numbers of people dying unnecessarily, while being a bit disrespectful to people who are living through actual sex slavery.

Wearing a mask and using sanitiser isn't a massive inconvenience for the vast majority of people, and if it's the worst we have to suffer in a pandemic, we are fortunate indeed.

It doesn't. Dystopia would be if we were queueing for bread or if people were looting or armed guards were stationed outside Primark.

It's not ideal but it won't last forever. I mean, is there something mentally wrong with me that I don't feel like I'm living in some kind of dystopian hellscape when I go shopping with a mask on? Everyone just looks normal to me.

@wanderings I don't care if you don't wear a mask or not, just don't harass those of us who do and call us sheep or whatever. I didn't vote for this government but I don't see why wearing a mask makes me a bad person.

i do agree about netball though. Football is also a contact sport and was brought back because it makes money (although Leagues 1 and 2 are suspended except playoffs). It does seem unfair that other team sports aren't brought back. I'm just glad gyms and pools are back open.

I'm sure the shops were worse about 2 months or so ago, it was really bad then

Agree, it was a lot weirder a couple of months ago when we were all queuing down the street to get into Asda or wherever, all socially distanced, one in out one system!
Barely anything on the shelves etc.
Getting a bit more back to normal now!

I absolutely agree that if you haven't been going out during lockdown, it's a huge and shocking surprise doing it for the first time. I live in a small rural town, and have been shopping regularly throughout - supermarket, baker, butcher, chemist - both for myself and elderly neighbours. I hated the high street then and avoided it as much as possible - 90% of the shops shut, no-one around, everyone queuing outside the handful of shops only. Now? All the shops are open, there are people ambling around, there are tables outside all the cafes and pubs (we have a pedestrianised street). It feels soooo much nicer than it did. I've been shopping and been able to look at clothes, and because I only live 10 minutes away was very happy to take them home to try on. Everything is tricky for the first time, after that it's fine. No queues in the supermarket or chemist any longer, but we're all keeping our distance.

Not dystopian at all!

They shop online, spend lots of time in parks, outdoor pubs and outdoor coffee shops. Play golf and socialise in the gardens of friends and family. Go to find new walking routes in the country and finish with an outdoor pub lunch

Now that does sound dystopian or Stepford Wives.

I’ve been into a small independent shop today. I liked two dresses but wasn’t going to buy either because I assumed they would t allow me to try them on.

In fact they did allow me to try them. I bought both. They sanitised the cubicle after I left.

I have no intention of going into clothes shops until they follow suit, and I don’t have time to buy online and return things.

I guess dystopian was perhaps too strong a word, I have been reading a dystopian novel recently so I think that is why that word came to mind... I guess unsettling and odd would be a better way to describe it. It just feels weird how much life can change in such a short period of time. Also I know things like having hand sanitiser for sale isn't "scary" by itself and is actually convenient but it is part of the bigger picture of what are lots of changes to the our everyday life. Maybe I am just young and naive but I still have moments where I cannot believe how much has changed changed since last year.

I have been to hospital during lockdown and even though they had all of these things in place too (hand sanitiser, one-way systems, floor markings) as well as additional measures (temperature checks, lots of PPE) it felt quite normal given the clinical context. I think I just found it unsettling seeing those kind of things in shops.

It is interesting though that so many people think that those who find these measures unsettling or find lockdown difficult are being over-dramatic and need to calm down. For some reason threads about the coronavirus can get quite heated. I don't know why people get so offended and annoyed at people for feeling anxious? Are they just happy-go-lucky and able to take all of this on the chin? Is it a defence mechanism they use to pretend that everything is fine and this is all normal and not a big deal? Anyway, discussing this all with others helps me process things and realise that I am not the only one feeling a little anxious. It's not like I was so unsettled I had to rush home in a panic, I still carried on shopping. I will now regularly go shopping to support my local high street and I am sure in a couple of weeks I will feel used to it and it will feel more normal.

@VioletCharlotte Thank you for your reply, you are right that I need to mentally reframe this. I am really grateful that masks are compulsory and there is hand sanitiser and one-way systems in place as they do make me feel safer going shopping. I need to focus on that rather than how different it all is.

There is really no comparison between wartime and Covid. Look at the Spanish flu which killed 50 million people, more than were killed in the war, they then had a horrible recession and then another war. I’m not sure I could be a stoic after all that, buts lots of people were. As my mum said ‘people just got on with it’ and she lived through it.

Covid has killed around 735 k (still appalling I know). For us though the shops have plenty of food, plenty of clothes to buy; no ‘make do and mend’ for us. Yes we have to wear a mask and we have social distancing, but really (myself included) we don’t know we’re born compared with other generations.

I think it's the not being able to try on clothes that is the problem.
Many people cannot afford to buy several things at once to try on at home & then return if it doesn't fit.
Not everyone has oodles of money or access to/wants to use a credit card.

I can see that buying school uniform for High School is going to be difficult especially with blazers, logo tops etc. Plus shoes need to be tried on.

I do think that Covid has very much segregated the optimists from the pessimists. It's very sobering (but thankfully only temporarily) to realise that so many people clearly lead very tense, closed, fearful lives.

I survived a very unexpected diagnosis of early breast cancer in February, but still feel I'm much more upbeat and positive about life than many people I know, and who are on here. I have bought some very brightly coloured masks and myriad cute sanitizer gels, and have perfected the Roger Moore eyebrow quirk

Oh god the benches, what is it with the removal of seating??

Do people writing risk assessments think the virus can be absorbed through your arse and two layers of fabric?

Surely people can sit on a bench without rubbing their faces on it. If they touch it with their hands then they can sanitize their hands before touching their face.

I was out with my disabled mother recently. Her doctors want her to reduce her reliance upon her wheel chair and try to walk further. She's trying really hard but when there is no where for her to rest for a minute or two it is very difficult. She had to sit on an outdoor step the other day due to the lack of benches, and there were lots of elderly and disabled people doing the same.

I have absolutely zero concern that mandatory mask wearing will become permanent. Never gonna happen. Sounds like complete conspiracy theory crap tbh.

Agreed

When this has passed, what possible motivation could the government have in keeping face coverings (or ‘muzzles’ as we are tons) mandatory?

It doesn't. Dystopia would be if we were queueing for bread or if people were looting or armed guards were stationed outside Primark.

It's not ideal but it won't last forever. I mean, is there something mentally wrong with me that I don't feel like I'm living in some kind of dystopian hellscape when I go shopping with a mask on? Everyone just looks normal to me.

If something is mentally wrong with you, it is with me too

They shop online, spend lots of time in parks, outdoor pubs and outdoor coffee shops. Play golf and socialise in the gardens of friends and family. Go to find new walking routes in the country and finish with an outdoor pub lunch

Now that does sound dystopian or Stepford Wives

I think it sounds rather idyllic. We’re work not so full on, I would love to meet up with friends, go out for nice lunches and try out new walks

I am not at all happy go lucky, but I seem to have acclimatised. I work in a school, so cleaning everything all the time was normal from early on. I got used to wearing a mask- eventually- it took me quite a while not to feel fussed over it. All the precautions make me feel cared for, tbh.
I’m loving all the outdoor eating and I enjoy shopping.