To wonder why up to 35 is now considered young

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve just seen an article where young people are referred to as being up to 35. Aibu to wonder why this is when it used to be 25 maximum that was viewed as a young person.

Here is an article from 2020: slate.com/technology/2020/08/fertility-cliff-advanced-maternal-age-outdated.html

"The bigger problem is that the real origin of the number 35 comes from a very specific—and essentially outdated—line of clinical reasoning."

https://uk.clearblue.com/how-to-get-pregnant/how-many-eggs-do-i-havee_

"Let’s start with the biology. You are born with all the eggs you are ever going to have.

You don't make any new eggs during your lifetime; in fact, the highest number of eggs you possessed was while you were still in your mother's uterus: a 20-week-old female foetus has about seven million eggs. When you are born, this number has reduced to around two million and by the time you reach puberty and begin menstruationn* (start your periods) you will have somewhere between 300,000 and 500,000 eggs remaining.

The fact that your supply of eggs is continuously reducing needn't be cause for concern, however, as it is a natural and continuous process, completely independent of birth control pills, pregnancies, nutritional supplements, or even health or lifestyle.

You are at your most fertile during your 20s and early 30’s and from your mid-30’s, fertility drops off until menopause. After menopause, it is not possible to get pregnant naturally."

There are many credible sources challenging that idea that I've linked. Fertility is more gradual in decline than we've been led to believe.

www.bustle.com/articles/71632-7-fertility-myths-women-should-know-are-absolute-nonsense

"
This one's particularly useful to know if you're putting off babies for a while and want to stop your relatives wringing their hands at you. Our data on female fertility indicates that while it does go down over time, the usually-quoted statistic — that 1 in 3 women between 35 and 39 won't be pregnant after a year of trying — is outdated. BY OVER 300 YEARS."

"Post-40, your fertility does lessen, but now doctors are experiencing the opposite problem: a rise in abortions among over-40 women who believed they were no longer fertile and unexpectedly got pregnant."

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-changing-culture/201204/who-says-you-cant-get-pregnant-after-35

https://www.incontinence.co.uk/postnatal-incontinence-struggle-for-motherss_

"Older maternal age has also been identified as a risk factor for postnatal incontinence."

It depends on many things and I do believe age isn't just a number, as they say.
In my hometown where many of my school friends started having kids from 16 onwards, 30+ is old. Some of their children are about to leave secondary school. They could soon be grandparents. Many have been working strenuous jobs since 16/18: care home work, factory jobs, laboring jobs. 15 years of using your hands and standing on your feet, early onset arthritis, lack of sleep/funds will make you middle aged by 35.
In a different area in a different city, I had my first at 30 and was the youngest person in my birthing class. I know 40 year olds still living in shared flats. I've done a bit of bar work to support my income over the years but could always sleep in the next day with no kids to wake me. I've barely done any work with my hands/feet, (although I've damaged my eyes from staring so many years at computer screens). I think many of the other parents at my daughter's nursery consider me a young mum because they are all about 10 years older than me.

I blame Coldplay

[quote Lex01]There are many credible sources challenging that idea that I've linked. Fertility is more gradual in decline than we've been led to believe.

www.bustle.com/articles/71632-7-fertility-myths-women-should-know-are-absolute-nonsense

"
This one's particularly useful to know if you're putting off babies for a while and want to stop your relatives wringing their hands at you. Our data on female fertility indicates that while it does go down over time, the usually-quoted statistic — that 1 in 3 women between 35 and 39 won't be pregnant after a year of trying — is outdated. BY OVER 300 YEARS."

"Post-40, your fertility does lessen, but now doctors are experiencing the opposite problem: a rise in abortions among over-40 women who believed they were no longer fertile and unexpectedly got pregnant."

www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/our-changing-culture/201204/who-says-you-cant-get-pregnant-after-35[/quote]
This is all very interesting and I am reading your articles.

It's strange though as the NHS do have a cut-off point for IVF where they acknowledge there is little chance of success.

babyology.com.au/pregnancy/getting-pregnant/fertility/wait-are-experts-actually-wrong-about-female-fertility-after-the-age-of-35/

It's not really about age, is it. Someone at 25 can look far, far worse than someone at 35. Until one is eligible for a free bus pass, age is just a number in ones passport .

I don't know why so many on here want to make 35 older than it is. But I'm guessing most of the people on here are American, and it's a cultural thing. People have different perceptions of ages in different cultures.

I think some people are in denial🤣 there’s really nothing wrong with being middle aged! People will have their own definition. Pretty much everyone will say under 30 is young, between 30 and 35 will differ. Over 35 most people are not going to say is young when you could legally have a child in their early 20s and the majority will have children, mortgage, have been working for 15-20 years. There’s no medical definition either, if you’re talking about conditions that usually affect older people then yes 40 may be labelled young- for that condition. As a 35 year old you wouldn’t be tagged as a young adult in general, medically speaking

Whatever term you use, you’re still 35! If you want to think of yourself as a young adult then that’s fine. Most on here are from UK I think

"I think some people are in denial🤣 there’s really nothing wrong with being middle aged! "

Obviously not, but your life wouldn't half over at that point, if that's how you define middle age. Not in developed nations, that is.

I'm not 35 yet. I'm a few years off it, but I don't believe life is half over then. Not with all the people I know achieving new things in their 70s and even 80s.

"Over 35 most people are not going to say is young when you could legally have a child in their early 20s and the majority will have children, mortgage, have been working for 15-20 years."

It would be very odd for someone in this day and age to have a child in their early 20s in this day and age. I think societally, perceptions have changed of age along with an increase in life expectancy, making previous ideas of age stages outdated.

"As a 35 year old you wouldn’t be tagged as a young adult in general, medically speaking"

my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/16805-breast-cancer-in-young-women

"Women who are under 40 years old may feel they are not at risk for breast cancer, but 5% of all cases happen in this group. Diagnosis can be more difficult due to breast tissue density."

I think the government here want people to see 35 as young as that excuses their decision to raise the age when you can get housing benefit/allowance for a one bedroom place, rather than shared accommodation, to 35.

@Lex01
"It would be very odd for someone in this day and age to have a child in their early 20s in this day and age."

It is still quite usual in deprived/lower educational attainment/wage areas. That statement shows that you aren't mixing with a wide variety of people.

While I agree that the fertility window is longer because of increased health, I don't know why clearblue are making the biologically incorrect statement that peak fertility is in your late 20/30s (pushing an agenda perhaps?) it's late teenage/early twenties. A lot less women will be able to have children if they put them off past middle 30's, without intervention and perhaps not at all. So it depends on how much you want to give birth, on when you should start ttc. Even IVF is more successful in your early 30's as opposed to your late 30's. I've had three family members go through IVF. It isn't an easy option.

30 now is a lot 'younger' than when I was 30. As is every age. Choices have increased in all aspects of life, so I think the outdated need to give everything a label, needs to go.

At 40, I had three living grandparents, and the one no longer alive drowned in an accident when I was four. Now 64, and clearly middle-aged (but not aged) we have three out of four parents still with us, two in decent fettle for their mid-80s. But many of my forebears reached their 80s before the NHS began, so I have probably inherited some robust genes.

The couple of medical studies you have chosen are diseases that usually happen to older adults, it’s a comparative thing. As someone has rightly pointed out if you’re over 35 having your first child you’d be labelled as a geriatric mother. In most cases medically speaking you are a young adult (teens to mid twenties ish), adult or elderly. Maybe that would be a better definition for most people.

Having a child in your early twenties is not particularly unusual if you look at the country as a whole.

Because 35 now is different to 35 many years ago.

Being middle aged and an older adult is completely fine. We should accept it more. I'm early 40s so middle aged. Still doing martial arts, good point in my career, lots of built up knowledge from life experience that I assume will only deepen as I age further.

Yes, there are age related illnesses and body processes I will encounter but the youth arnt that much fitter or healthier either. We shouldn't fear getting older and we shouldn't be so disrespectful and disregarding of those who are older.