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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU? Please no nastiness :(

94 replies

Jadee753 · 10/08/2020 19:13

NDN, middle aged woman with a teenage son. He's outside all hours of the day smoking marijuana, loud music, friends round etc. We've had our french doors open due to the hot weather, as we are entitled. The smell of weed floods our house!! Completely. It's sickening. Even my 5 year old has to go into her room to evade.
Anyway, we were having a BBQ (just myself, husband and 2 children) when NDN comes out complaining that the smoke is getting on her washing. I politely explained that this could not easily be helped. She proper reared up. Shouting and screaming at me. (I'd just finished a 13 hour nursing shift) I just didn't need it.
Her son then proceeded to chime in and call us all sorts, very explicit. My partner then went out in an attempt to fight my corner. Just then, some kind of concrete was thrown by the son straight at me, hitting me in the hand and injuring my fingers.
Being so tired I chose not to report to the police and just leave be.
Following day, visit from police community support officer. Wanted to know what happened. I explained and told them I wanted to press charges.
WIBU for reporting him? I feel kind of bad as he's a teen, but he's making our life hell!

OP posts:
katy1213 · 10/08/2020 19:56

Good for you! If you're lucky the little shit might be taken into care.

fabulous40s · 10/08/2020 19:56

Well done you! That's brilliant- can't believe the son had the audacity to call the police when he's the one who has assaulted you and has illegal drugs on him - shows what an entitled dimwit he is.

Get some cheap cctv cameras for front and back of your house to give you extra peace of mind.

If you ever smell weed again say loudly to your husband - I can smell drugs, I'm calling the police. Should soon stop him.

Somethingkindaoooo · 10/08/2020 19:56

@Jadee753

They're council typically! And I've even written to them about the smell of marijuana, but they have failed to do anything! I must add, the teen is under probation.
You had me until there.

Typically?

bakingdemon · 10/08/2020 19:57

Follow it up all the way. He shouldn't get away with that and hopefully the little scrote will learn a lesson.

ancientgran · 10/08/2020 19:57

I had to read it twice but realised you meant the council are useless at dealing with stuff.

ScrimpshawTheSecond · 10/08/2020 19:57

Hope you're okay, OP, and I hope that this helps sort out your situation with your neighbours. They sound horrendous.

safariboot · 10/08/2020 19:57

Of course YANBU.

Report to police and press charges. Now and every time. Report the criminal violence to the landlord too.

If the offender is on probation then the police will take his story with a pinch of salt. And with any luck he'll be recalled to detention and he'll fully deserve it. He's already been given a chance, and likely many chances.

TheSoapyFrog · 10/08/2020 19:59

YADNBU. And I'd tell the cops about the weed too.

Billben · 10/08/2020 20:00

I think all that weed smoking must have gone to both of their heads. I mean you’ve got to be especially thick to call the police when your child just lobbed a stone at somebody 😀

OP, thick people like them only learn the hard way. If that kid had no issues throwing that stone at you now, just imagine what he’s gonna be like in the future. The sooner the police know of him the better.

Original poster
Jadee753 · 10/08/2020 20:02

Sorry lovely, I did mean 'typically' because the council do nothing at all

OP posts:
Notredamn · 10/08/2020 20:02

Unfortunately you can't 'press charges' but of course, give a statement, and make it known you would like the incident dealing with.
The little shit might be recalled with some luck.

Ludo19 · 10/08/2020 20:03

The council are useless at dealing with this stuff. I myself had awful neighbours and I had to endure it for over 13yrs before they stepped in and moved my. The tenants downstairs owned their own home so that's where (councils excuse) the hold up lay.

Report everything to the police and the council and keep a record of all incidents.

Good luck x

Seracursoren · 10/08/2020 20:04

You had me until there

Typically?

Op is also a council tenant, they meant the council are rubbish at dealing with this sort of thing.

I hope you mentioned his copious drug use to the police.

CrowdedHouseinQuarantine · 10/08/2020 20:05

is it legal to smoke cannabis in yoru back garden?

spinningaround72 · 10/08/2020 20:06

YANBU! You're lucky it only hit your hand. He is the one who got the police involved, I would definitely press charges.

Original poster
Jadee753 · 10/08/2020 20:07

I'm not sure if the legality, but it's just the pure spite of complaining about a common bbq lol

OP posts:
spinningaround72 · 10/08/2020 20:09

@CrowdedHouseinQuarantine

is it legal to smoke cannabis in yoru back garden?
Yes. It is a class b drug. Hmm
theemmadilemma · 10/08/2020 20:10

The police are generally going to do fuck all about a report of someone smoking weed in their garden. They don't have the resources, and can't enter the property (with certain exceptions) to do anything about it. So it would be a nice friendly chat and nothing more unless they start suspecting the son is a growing house, or dealer...

theemmadilemma · 10/08/2020 20:11

*that said him being on probation probably makes a difference to the above.

Reluctantcavedweller · 10/08/2020 20:12

YANBU. He's brought this on himself. You would have let things lie. Make sure the police are aware of both the assault on you and drugs issues. And maybe see about getting a non-molestation order or something so you can have them arrested if they harass you in future.

Nanny0gg · 10/08/2020 20:13

You sadly can't 'press charges'.You can report but it's up to the police if they take it further.

Sunrise234 · 10/08/2020 20:13

YANBU!!
It’s quite good you didn’t call the police as they’ve shot themselves in the foot.

I would consider getting cctv though for the front and back as you would of had proof he threw it at you and the would have probably got in more trouble.

Ditheringdooley · 10/08/2020 20:14

Fair enough re council in that case! Hope the police/ cso are helpful. Throwing the concrete was an incredibly aggressive act.

Jargo · 10/08/2020 20:29

Honestly, the first thing I would be doing is putting a CCTV up.

YANBU to report to police but I am not sure it will be taken as seriously as it would have been had it been reported at the time it happened.

How big was the concrete? I had a concrete breeze block smashed on my head once and the police were not interested at all - this was a while ago and I was a teenager and I think the teenager that did it had connections (he was also very stoned).

Helpimfalling · 10/08/2020 20:30

@FunTimes2020

OP may have said they're Council typically because the Council are bloody useless at doing anything!
Yes I agree