Shouldn’t neighbours have apologised

[Crackers6642]

I’m curious what the rest of you think: neighbours kid has bashed our fence with constant footballs. I don’t mean odd ball banging fence, I literally mean he’s been using it to kick against for hours everyday. Old fence was damaged by him, put up a new fence and still carries on. Shouldn’t parents at least tell him to stop? Obviously they know it’s our fence and we paid for it. They sit outside with him. What’s wrong with people.

Contact the council as it sounds anti social since the fence has already had to be replaced once. Plus they are blatantly ignoring you when you've tried talking to them about it amicable.

@Worriedmutt

Could you put some nails / drawing pins through the fence where he kicks the ball against it and hold them in place with duct tape ? [semi-light-hearted]

Oh that's gooood!

Parents should have stopped the kid from kicking the ball at the fence and apologised for damage caused. Yes.

But they haven't. You have several reasonable routes open to you:

• Every time you are in the garden and he starts to kick the ball at your fence tell him to stop. Talk to the parents again about it. Tell them the cost of replacing the fence and explain to them that if he continues to damage the new one you will bill them for repairs and find another barrier they probably won't like as much. Get a grip of yourself and stop feeling guilty for asking people not to damage your property. This is by far the most reasonable first step. If they continue, take photos video of the ball hitting the fence as evidence for a small claims court case if you decide to pursue that route (though think carefully about actually doing this).

• Temporarily remove the panels and put something on the side that faces their garden that would make kicking the ball against it a bad idea (potter mosaic with uneven bits sticking out/padding of some kind so the ball won't bounce off (balls cut in half and the middle nailed to the fence in a pattern might do this)/large rusty nails (not really!) then put the panels back.

-Replace the fence with a much lower one and make the rest up with trellis that will fall down as soon as he hits a ball against it. This would be annoying at first until he gives up using your fence. Or, as suggested up thread, a thorny hedge.

• Take the fence down fully and let them have no barrier at all for a while until he starts using a different fence.

I did get a little frustrated with them but they made me feel I was over-reacting! I’ve felt so guilty since the “confrontation”. I’m glad I posted as yes I do have a right to get angry, I shouldn’t just put up with it. Apart from the damage of the fence, his balls have been hitting my kids and damaging other stuff in my garden.

I just don't understand people like your neighbours - even if they genuinely think they have done nothing wrong doesn't it bother them even slightly that something their son is doing is at best disturbing you and at worst damaging your property?
Wouldn't any normal person just ask their son to stop?
Honestly baffles me - I'd be mortified if I were them
YANBU

I would type them a letter and post it through their letterbox. Explain that he wrecked the old fence and you paid to replace it. Tell them they will be liable for any damage and he must stop kicking the ball at it. If it's a shared fence neighbours usually go half. You've sorted it once. Their turn next.

FFS “OI! Xxxx (insert NDN child’s name) stop kicking the bloody football against my fence, it cost xxxxx or replace and i dont want it wrecking”

End of ....

It takes a village to raise a child.

Apart from the damage of the fence, his balls have been hitting my kids and damaging other stuff in my garden.

This is illegal, but if I had asked him to stop a lot I would probably start making sure these balls had slow punctures in them before they were returned.

I feel for you do they own or rent? It’s not just the damage it’s also the noise really inconsiderate. Neighbours I don’t think will take any notice of a request to manage the situation verbally or by letter. This is a constant problem for people Does your council have any advice on their website. Unless every time it happen call over to the parents to get their kid to kick at their fences not yours. Sorry not much help this is a tough one as they are so selfish.

Every time he does it get the host out and hose the fence, sending some over. Then when they complain say I have asked you to tell him to stop damaging my fence and you have done nothing.

The thing is I’ve stayed quiet for years. I know it’s my fault for doing so, but they obviously realise the damage and impact he’s been doing all these years! Not once have they apologised or try to put an end to it. I feel at the point where I’m not taking anymore shit. We own the house not renting.

I actually feel better in the sense I have re-assurance that I’m not overreacting and my feelings are actually valid. Thank you everyone

You're letting him hurt your children and damage your property?

They are so rude.. you shouldn't even have to say anything to them they should have the manners to realise it's not on. I am.with you, a ball hitting a surface repeatedly is a horrid noise be it basket ball bouncing on ground or a ball kicked to fence or house. It makes me feel so unsettled and should be banned in small gardens and terraced properties. Unfortunately the sound cheeky af and you will need to speak to them again.

Stab the balls with a knife before you throw them back. He’ll move to another fence.

That might be criminal damage, ginger.

I feel like such a mug! I accept had sleepless nights worrying about why I had a word with them. I really struggle with these things especially when DH and my mum tell me I shouldn’t make a fuss and put up with it

Do you return the balls immediately? - we had this but more annoyingly it was their fence so the damage looked unsightly but not much we could do about it.

I returned all balls on a Sunday about 7pm, once a week never more frequently - took about a month.

I was sat quietly in the garden once when I heard 'lets see how many we can get over' I just responded with I don't think thats a good plan do you - scared them to death!

We had a number of issues, balls hitting us, constantly coming over plus during football tournaments lots of kids in the garden with little supervision - worst was some kids knocking at 930 asking for balls back. My answer was - its 930, way to late to knock, I have young kids I will pop the balls over in the morning.

You're asking your children to put up with a lot! What age are they? Get them those super soaker things and tell them to soak the little terror through the fence when he starts up with the banging. If the parents protest, kids will be kids.

You could just "forget" to return every ball that he kicks over the fence. Don't put them in your bin as the kids will probably check there. He'll soon stop if he realises he isn't going to get any balls back.

accept sorry autocorrect meant to say recently

Also "forget" where you've put the balls. Apologise profusely but you just can't remember.

I would return the balls, but it might take me a week or two to "find" them.

I would send them a solicitor's letter and follow up if the kid doesn't stop.

I'd also be planting the spiniest hedge I could.

What age are they?

My kids are all under 5, a baby too under 1. They’re kids are 14 (the football kicking one) and I think 11 and 4.