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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shouldn’t neighbours have apologised

132 replies

Crackers6642 · 10/08/2020 17:42

I’m curious what the rest of you think: neighbours kid has bashed our fence with constant footballs. I don’t mean odd ball banging fence, I literally mean he’s been using it to kick against for hours everyday. Old fence was damaged by him, put up a new fence and still carries on. Shouldn’t parents at least tell him to stop? Obviously they know it’s our fence and we paid for it. They sit outside with him. What’s wrong with people.

OP posts:
ButtonMoonLoon · 10/08/2020 18:15

Yes they should apologise and tell their son to stop.
I’d follow it up in writing tbh and tell them that if it continues you will be charging them for any damage.

Original poster
Crackers6642 · 10/08/2020 18:15

Definitely ours and our boundary. They own the other 2.

OP posts:
EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 10/08/2020 18:17

hose?
have a handy bucket of something unpleasant to lob over

KeepingPlain · 10/08/2020 18:18

I'd just stick nails into it so that when the ball hits them, it gets punctured.

FuzzyPuffling · 10/08/2020 18:20

I'd shout at the child.

OneForMeToo · 10/08/2020 18:21

How old is he? I’d tell the parents if they didn’t control their child if he is old enough I’d be reporting him for criminal damage as that’s what is it. So they can sort their child or the police can.

You don’t have to report but it might put the wind up them, could even ask a friendly pcso to come for a chat.

Reluctantcavedweller · 10/08/2020 18:24

Play classical music very loudly in your garden every time he does this. If they complain, tell them it's to drown out the sound of the ball hitting your fence.

Alternatively, get one of those devices that emits a high-pitched noise that's annoying to children.

Heartofglass12345 · 10/08/2020 18:32

I agree it's the parents fault, why should you have to go and confront them? I don't understand some parents these days! As soon as they saw him doing it they should've made him stop. The problem is these are the sort of parents that are likely to make your life miserable when you've done nothing wrong.
We had some little twat ring our doorbell at 10:45 the other night! There were kids as young as 9/10 playing out in the street making a racket! I went mad and told them they should've been in bed lol

feistyoneyouare · 10/08/2020 18:32

@sunflowersandtulips50

YABU for saying nothing to them
Responses like this make me laugh. The OP shouldn't be in the position of having to say anything, her neighbours should be controlling their kid.
1forAll74 · 10/08/2020 18:36

The parents need to be asked to control their child, who is damaging garden fencing.You are in the right to ask this. I am not sure what you can do though, if the neighbours are of the, couldn't care less brigade.
But if something similar was happening to them, they would probably kick off big time.

AlwaysCheddar · 10/08/2020 18:38

Kids kick balls but not against other people’s fences! They are cf.

MikeUniformMike · 10/08/2020 18:40

Take the fence down and replace it with a thorny hedge.

Arnoldthecat · 10/08/2020 18:41

www.gov.uk/make-money-claim

Gather video evidence that their brat is damaging the fence. When its knackered, get an estimate for repair from a contractor. Submit your claim on this website.

blimppy · 10/08/2020 18:42

We had the same problem and I remember telling the children in question that their parents would pay for any damage! I suspect the most effective tactic though was that we never through the ball back. I've lost count of how many have ended up in the bin, but it's relatively rare now to hear that sound of a ball crashing against our fence....

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/08/2020 18:42

Write them a letter asking them to get their child to desist stating you will pursue for any damages. But do it really nicely. As in it’s something you don’t want to do but may have no choice if it gets broken again.

Batshittery · 10/08/2020 18:43

I don't have any advice, but I feel so sorry for you. I have a neighbour a couple of houses away and their sons constantly kick a ball against their fence. The noise drives me to despair but they only have a small garden, so not much choice I suppose.

Emeraldshamrock · 10/08/2020 18:44

How old is he? Can he read? If you've already spoke to the parents I'd either put a large "Stop kicking the fucking fence" or give out to him tell him to stop it.
Some DC are feral I've had to stop DS friend calling he is 5 he broke toys, aims the ball for my windows, hits it isn't his fault it is the lack of parenting.

saltycat · 10/08/2020 18:44

I would have to speak to the neighbours myself. They must know it is causing upset and damage. But that's life today, few care now unless they are called out.

Just like constantly barking dogs that owners do not appear to hear.

fluffedup · 10/08/2020 18:45

My garden backs onto a park, and a few weeks back I heard a loud banging, went to look and someone in the park was kicking a ball against NDN's fence (not ours, which is protected by pyracantha since it was kicked in by vandals). The fence is a bit old and was actually bending inwards so it no longer rests on the concrete baseboard.
I could hear a child saying 'just one more go' and the mother saying yes. So because they were going, I didn't really need to say anything, but I was overcome with curiosity - who actually lets their child do that?
I opened the gate and the child (about 7 or 8) looked guilty, but obviously I wasn't going to say anything to her - it's not her fault if her mother allowed her to do it. I pointed out (to the mother) that the fence was bending under the kicks and she apologised, it should have been obvious though.
OP, some fence panels do lift out easily - maybe you could replace the panels most affected with wire netting, with some bamboo screening against it for privacy. Balls would not bounce off that.

GrannyBags · 10/08/2020 18:46

I agree with the formal letter. You can download a template from the internet.

nightmareneighbour · 10/08/2020 18:48

my user name tells my story....

I think that planting a pyracantha hedge then removing the fence is a superb idea. It's also very good for bees and butterflies and other non-noisy creatures.

Is that feasible? I think that as soon as the hedge is starting to grow you will immediately feel better.

Illuyanka · 10/08/2020 18:49

You asked them to stop, but they don't. The fence was damaged and you had to replace them. Just hand them the receipt for the fence and ask them to pay for it? Or tell them you let them off the hook this time but will be asking them to pay next time?

Timeforabiscuit · 10/08/2020 18:51

Fences are expensive, if the kid is damaging it the parents will need to protect their side (brick wall, second fence) OR pay for a new fence.

Anydreamwilldo12 · 10/08/2020 18:53

Get angry OP. Tell them the fence cost you a lot of money and they need to stop kicking the ball against it, kick it against their own.

sunflowersandtulips50 · 10/08/2020 18:54

feistyoneyouare well clearly in this case the parents are not controlling the 'kid', so I would be telling them to sort there DC out or they will be getting a bill for a new fence.