To ask if these an age where you would think it was unusual that someone lived at home

[thedaywewillremeber]

I’ve got two adult dc aged 22 and 25 in September. Both still live at home and pay rent to me to live here. I’m starting to think they are getting to an age where they should be seriously thinking about moving on. They aren’t saving for a house deposit in fact the 22 year old never has any money.

I think if you are saving for your own place then its probably acceptable to stay at home until late 20's - if all parties are happy with that. Anyone hitting 30, still living at home I find a little strange though I have to admit

That’s what I’m concerned about that none of my boys are saving. As someone who rents I believe my life would have been a lot easier if I had saved a brought a house rather than the insecurity of renting.

I m in Hertfordshire. Dc have ordinary jobs. Dd 26 is saving for a flat with her long term boyfriend.
Ds left home at 21 then came back and again at 27 after relationship break up.
It s very expensive to rent anything decent on your own here.
I charge them a fair rent (we are council but not eligible for housing benefit) and we all muck in together on housework (me a bit more tbh but I m off every school holiday).
It works for us.
Ds is 32. He has had MH problems (severe depression) and says he likes family around.

Are they working? I'd be more concerned about them not saving if they're working and simply spending the money, because if that's the position, even if they're on NMW, they probably have more disposable income right now than they will at any point in their lifetimes, unless they get a well paid job, because they're earning a salary and paying some to you, but probably not very much, and have the rest to spend as they choose, when they could be using the opportunity to save a house deposit, or at least some for rental deposits, furniture etc and just to have some money to fall back on if they need to.

Obviously if they're not working for whatever reason, they can't save, but they still need to contribute most of whatever benefits they receive, if you're a low income household struggling to make ends meet.

They should also be contributing to the running of the household, cooking, cleaning, laundry, DIY, gardening, decorating, everything should be split 3 ways.

I think it depends.

Do they both "adult" - do their washing, tidy their room, pay proper rent, etc it are they still Mommy's little boys who can't change a toilet roll without a diagram and think you need a vagina to operate a washing machine?

I lived at home until late 20s. Def no chance of buying alone, 1 bed rental options weren't that attractive, was on the HA housing must bit bottom of the pile. DDad worked nights, me days so in the week I never saw him. I came in from work at 6 or 9 pm and he'd be gone. I'd leave at 8 am and he'd be in bed. Weekends I was away a LOT volunteering and working. It was more like a houseware and I paid an equal split of bills

I'd like my dd (who is only 2!) to move out for uni, return for a bit, but move out again by 26. I'd hate for her to miss out on all the fun of her 20s and flat shares.

@AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings what if she doesn't go to uni?

No.Because I don't know their circumstances or history.
I know someone who stayed at home until mid 40s because of a history of PTSD after abuse. They looked and acted fine, had a good job, but found it hard to cope at times.

Other people have hidden issues, private financial issues, MH problems etc- none of which would be necessarily obvious.

Obviously, this isn't saying your DC have any of this, just explaining why I wouldn't judge people generally.

However, if you have an issue with it in your home, that's obviously different.