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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To worry most people won’t ever ‘get it’

420 replies

OverTheRainbow88 · 09/08/2020 20:00

All the marches, Protests etc and people still don’t seem to understand!

Will they ever?

To worry most people won’t ever ‘get it’
OP posts:
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HopelessSemantics · 11/08/2020 08:12

Some people will never get it. It's sad.

As for the UK being the most tolerant country in the world, it has a veneer of being tolerant at times and society is somewhat multicultural (ie it is normal to see a workplace with people of various races; different religious festivals are celebrated as a norm in schools and so on. This is not the case in some other European countries.) But there are still way too many of the "Christmas is banned"/"you can't set foot in east London" types around, and worse, actual, violent racists.

People look at that book and think well it's no big deal. But it's the accumulation of instances like this. If it's once, it's a mistake. If it's every time, it's something different.

HopelessSemantics · 11/08/2020 08:15

"People who aren’t racist aren’t normally homophobes. Where as racists and homophobes are often good friends"

I don't think this is true. There is a lot of homophobia in the Asian and black communities for starters. I know plenty of gay men who are pretty racist (not in a BNP way, in an insiduous way).

It's more complicated than just "these are the goodies and these are the baddies".

LuvMyFluffyFrizzyBushySoftAfro · 11/08/2020 08:22

@JamesTKirkcompatible

.I only saw Caucasian hair as beautiful or even "normal" and I had a really squewed body image growing up.

exactly - and books like this, where the "winning" mermaid/Princess/whatever is never black or in fact anything other than blonde and blue eyed... just contribute more to this.

Yep, some people think it's only about "being included", like black people are being done some kind of favour when it's what is supposed to be. "Here's a morsel for you, black people. Now be grateful for your scraps and don't get too big for your boots".

Same thing with feminism. Female representation in films: A woman has to be the boss/whatever at the top or in charge of the men (and other women), but never the black one. If a black one is in charge, it's a sub department or something or she will be in charge with a man or woman of another ethnic minority. God forbid a black woman is the one in total charge of everyone, nope not if a white woman is available.

In films...make believe...not real, a black woman still plays second fiddle. Never the best/prettiest/most clever. They can afford for an Asian woman to be sometimes but not the black. It's all about the "skinz".

Some white women can't give up that power they claim they don't have (Why should men? Power is sweet, innit?).

"But don't worry, it's still a woman, okay. Black women, just be happy we got a woman at the top. If you complain, you're not for women. Stop getting ideas above your station".

I swear one can't unsee these things once you 'get it'. It's really everywhere, as though scales have fallen from your eyes. Now I truly believe 'ignorance is bliss'. I do miss it sometimes.

SunnyCoco · 11/08/2020 08:37

I get it.

Noextremes2017 · 11/08/2020 09:42

Think some people are just fed up with hearing about it tbh. Less can be more.

HopelessSemantics · 11/08/2020 09:46

@Noextremes2017 probably not as sick of it as black people are of being targeted by it daily.

Like, sorry for the inconvenience, you know?

LuvMyFluffyFrizzyBushySoftAfro · 11/08/2020 09:56

[quote HopelessSemantics]@Noextremes2017 probably not as sick of it as black people are of being targeted by it daily.

Like, sorry for the inconvenience, you know?[/quote]
Yep. Say that to women. Say it to abuse survivors. Say it to people with disabilities. Say that to economically underprivileged people: It's boring now. We're fed up of hearing about it. Less is more. Now shut up!

queenbee72 · 11/08/2020 11:30

And THIS is your answer. They just don’t get it. It doesn’t affect them, so just shut up. 🙄

mummmy2017 · 11/08/2020 11:52

I try in my life to be kind and generous to everyone.
I don't care about skin colours, I have friends from every corner of the globe.
What I dislike is the hate directed at myself and many others just because we don't read something that was never intended into something as simple as a bit of fur in a child's touch and feel book.
A blind child would get this book, it is not racist, it is just to fluffy, to bumpy, to smooth. Sometimes you can read too much into something.

HopelessSemantics · 11/08/2020 11:57

@mummmy2017

Oh well if you have non white friends, there's no way you can be in any way racist then.

OverTheRainbow88 · 11/08/2020 12:17

@mummmy2017

But now knowing what lots of others think, if the book were to be recreated would you maybe change it to her clip is too shiny or something?

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1Micem0use · 11/08/2020 13:14

That was not cool. If anyone didn't immediately get that then they are very thick

MumChats · 11/08/2020 13:47

The exact same line is used for a white mermaid in another book. They weren't having a go at afro hair, ironically given the backlash they were amending a white mermaid to be more inclusive.

Also - do we know it's a black mermaid? How do we know it's not an Indian mermaid? It's really not clear. Maybe she doesn't have afro hair at all anyway.

Pikachubaby · 11/08/2020 13:58

OP, sorry if I missed this but do you have Afro hair yourself, and have you had lots of negative comments on this?

Just to understand where you (and the lady who started this case) are coming from

C8H10N4O2 · 11/08/2020 15:00

Also - do we know it's a black mermaid? How do we know it's not an Indian mermaid? It's really not clear. Maybe she doesn't have afro hair at all anyway.

Interesting username. Reminds me of racism central elsewhere in the ether.

Choochoose · 11/08/2020 15:09

@mummmy2017 do you think it's likely everyone who sees the t shirt has read the books.

OverTheRainbow88 · 11/08/2020 15:50

@Pikachubaby

My children’s father is from Nigeria, my dad is from Israel and my mum is dual heritage- white/black.

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bendybarbarabee · 11/08/2020 16:41

Ah the classic John Terry defence. “I can’t be a racist, I have black friends!”

Staffy1 · 11/08/2020 17:38

@LuvMyFluffyFrizzyBushySoftAfro

We all have different views, it doesn't mean one is wrong

You're preaching to the choir. I literally said that a few times. Perhaps tell that to your 'camp mates', maybe they'll listen to you.

And can you tell your 'camp mates' who obviously think people who don't "get it" are wrong, although I doubt they'll listen.
OverTheRainbow88 · 11/08/2020 20:39

Well thank you to everyone who came onto this thread with an open mind and took other people’s views on board. Hopefully a few extra People now ‘get it’ and will pass the message on to others.

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mummmy2017 · 11/08/2020 20:55

Don't you find getting upset by reading between the lines , words that were never even imagine by the author , in a book aimed at pre-reading children, sets the bar so very high about what is racist.
Maybe we need to stop talking, writing and drawings, so you won't get offended.

OverTheRainbow88 · 11/08/2020 21:02

@mummmy2017

Yes please, do stop talking.

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LioneIRichTea · 11/08/2020 21:14

Well thank you to everyone who came onto this thread with an open mind and took other people’s views on board. Hopefully a few extra People now ‘get it’ and will pass the message on to others.

How patronising.

bemusedmoose · 11/08/2020 22:54

the mermaid could have had a tail that was too shiny - why fuzzy hair!?!? just a stupid cock up. Maybe the person who did it meant it to be racist, maybe it never crossed their mind that it would be seen that way, but at some point through the approval process someone should have said 'hold up - that's going to go down like a lead balloon!'

Some people wont ever get it because they cant see this from the other side. When you have white privilege you whole life it doesnt even occur to a lot of people how much life sucks for those who havent had that. Just like people who are born rich will never understand life for people on the breadline. History has covered up so much that has lead up to this. White privilege has dominated the world for centuries and the fact it still happens when we know it's not right is awful. The fact some people will never understand this shows just how brain washed and normal it has become :(

Smileyaxolotl1 · 11/08/2020 23:14

Was chatting about this thread with a friend this evening.
They could have used the last page of the book style and said ‘that’s my mermaid, her hair is so fluffy’ and made it positive.