Don’t give 9 year olds phones

[TomNook]

And expect them to be socially competent with texting.

It’s as simple as that. They’re not, they barely are at year 7 let alone younger.
An iPad to game on - whatever. Not phones.

Agree!

I used to think so but we did. Not intentionally but had a spare. Controls in place, etc. Its 21st century, can't hide from it.

Yes mother!

Are you talking from experience there OP? Did you give your 9 year old a phone with disastrous results?

My DCs school insisted they had phones aged 9 to be allowed to be collected from school by an older sibling or walk home unaccompanied.

I agree.

Dc1 is getting a phone for her next birthday (when she'll be 11) in preparation for secondary school in Sept 2021 but I don't see the need any earlier.

Thread about a thread?

My kids older. I just see the carnage in y7 and the parents being surprised. What did you think they would be like?!

Even the nicest kids are utterly vile on SM

Don’t worry about what other people do with their kids. It’s nothing to do with you

I presume this is in response to another thread where the 9yo was having friendship difficulties by text.

In normal circumstances I'd agree with you OP. However during lockdown, friendships have been bloody hard for kids to maintain, and it's been especially difficult for those who don't have siblings. We've all had to compromise on our usual 'rules' in the interests of our children. Sometimes it's gone wrong, but it's unfair to judge the decisions other parents make during such unusual and trying times.

Lol @BluebellForest836 you know this is a parenting forum right ?

Interesting @Gazelda but what about when schools go back?

TAAT?

I probably wouldn't but I understand why some parents do. It probably makes them feel more at ease about them becoming independent because it is a method of contact.

I totally agree with you OP.

@TomNook

Interesting *@Gazelda* but what about when schools go back?

I wouldn't judge any parent for decisions they make going forward. But if my 9yo was having text/WhatsApp troubles during lockdown and the summer hols, I think I'd probably be having a 'grown up' convo with them about keeping the phone for holiday times only.

As I said, in normal times I'd agree that 9 is too young for a phone. But on balance, I wouldn't criticise any parent who decided that on balance their child's mental and social wellbeing would benefit from being able to contact their friends by phone,

I’m trying to think what I would do if I decided that all the other kids were texting, I think I’d have an iPad with an iCloud address but no phone potential. Certainly not WhatsApp where WhatsApp groups can be the absolute killer for a lot of kids

Yanbu. I'm sick of my Y6 and her phone. She got it during lockdown as she had no contact with anyone. Year 6 kids are a flipping boring pain in the arse when it comes to phones. They're all snipping at each other all the time. Changing the name of the group, sensing entire messages of the same emoji .

My 13yr old is hilarious on his WhatsApp group. The extra two years of maturity means they're all way more kind and tolerant towards each other.

I assume you’re posting this in relation to the thread about a birthday party. It really doesn’t need you acting all superior posting a blatant thread about another thread to get your point across does it.

My 8 year old was fine with a phone. He was given an old one by a friend so he could play PokémonGo. He mainly messaged his grandmas and aunties.

By the time he was 9 he had friends as contacts too and worked on the principle that if he wouldn't text it to his (very conservative) grandma he shouldn't be texting it to anyone else either. School friends that behaved like idiots got blocked (by him) as he wasn't going to jeopardise being allowed to have a phone.
Now he's 10 and hasn't got one because he dropped it, repeatedly, and I'm not buying a phone for a 10 year old who flings it around. The actual online usage however was never a problem.

Interesting though isn’t it. All the research tends to show there any social media and that includes texting leaves kids unhappy.

Also some research mentioned that kids have been happier during lockdown not being at school, makes you wonder what happens at school!

Non-smartphones with a controlled contact list are perfectly appropriate for 9 year olds (many of whom will walk to school and/or play out and/or walk round to friends' houses locally and/or go to the local shop independently).

Smartphone with unfettered access to the internet and no parental supervision, not so much.

Totally agree what 9 year old needs a phone. My 9 year old won't be having one until year 6 at the earliest.

I don’t know, maybe I’d let them use my phone? Depends how much I needed it for work during lockdown - certainly not their own

Agree with @RedskyAtnight

My kids both got a phone when they were 10. We’ve had years with no issues. It depends on the kids and how you parent them.