Don’t give 9 year olds phones

[TomNook]

And expect them to be socially competent with texting.

It’s as simple as that. They’re not, they barely are at year 7 let alone younger.
An iPad to game on - whatever. Not phones.

They dont understand the etiquette at all

No, they just have a different etiquette to you.

That's not true, though, is it? Because as soon as all the other kids have phones, your kids get pressure. I was horrified before lockdown when my 10 year old niece stayed with me - she left her phone in the bedroom with me (her mums' rules) and it buzzed alerts the whole night through, it's terrible for young kids' sleep, and their mental health to be always on like this.

Which is why the mum didn't let her have the phone overnight? This is the point. This is what we need to be teaching children.

Did you actually have to make a thread about a thread because a mother was complaining bout another child being absolutely vile to her daughter? Pathetic.

The texts wouldn't have happened but the kid's attitude would have remained the same. The bullying would have happened in person, at school, through friends.

During lockdown my ds9 has been allowed to download chatting apps on his iPad that he uses to talk to his friends. Its monitored and it is only people he knows from school. It's the only way they've been able to stay in touch. No issues at all.

It's really not your business how other people choose to parent. Not all children are the same and some can be trusted to use these things sensibly.

My nearly 10yo has a phone because he boards once a week. I realise that makes me a mumsnet pariah-parent twice over, but it is entirely his own choice. He likes to phone home before bed and if they don't have their own phone they have to do it from the school office with a queue behind them.

He's in a message group of about 10 kids, which I read regularly, and they are lovely to each other.

Fair point @sirfredfredgeorge I hadn't thought of it that way. It just drives me mad when I am messaged 10 times in the space of 20 minutes with constant "hello?" And sad face emojis!

Okay OP. Now you’ve created a post about this, I’m going to do exactly what you say.

I always take instructions from randoms on the internet.... perhaps I shouldn’t have a phone.

I agree OP but during lockdown, l have lent my 8 year old my old phone - it has no sim card so she can only skype her friends and even then she has to ask be fire calling them. Once she is back at school, she knows l am having the phone back and screen time will be a weekend treat only. Just ran out of things to do months ago and being an only child, she has only had me and her dad to talk to so as much as l hate to admit it, it has been a lifeline for her