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AIBU?

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Was turned down. Right to be annoyed?

110 replies

Chairlove · 08/08/2020 19:56

Was having flirty text with an fwb. Our situation is we text few times during the week, meet up as friends which is sometimes platonic or sometimes stay over. We have done this for a few years. If we meet someone we are honest and maintain relationship as friends. It works. We have had a relationship in the past. It’s a convenient set up for us both, so Please don’t judge.

He has been a bit low mood due to stress in his life. I am worried he is depressed. Saw each other 4 weeks ago as friends and had food, chat and a hug. Not much intimacy due to lockdown, but a few chats on what we could of been doing.

Our normal arrangement would be to arrange a meet up on the day if we are free. It’s normally food, drink, stay over and leave midday. Like a date. We never do the drunk booty call. If it’s a friends thing, like cinema or event, we pre-arrange.

Thursday having a flirt via text. He was suggesting he has no sex drive as stressed. I joked and said you need to do something about this, he asked do I know anyone. Flirting about Finally becoming intimate again.

This afternoon flirty text. I got new underwear ad sent him pics. He said he did nothing last night. I said me neither and he said if he knew he would of come over. Again flirty that he may know someone who is naughty. I asked who, ad he said he would look around for me. Normally very direct.

Tonight he is seeing friends, not too far away from me. I suggested he come round to mine to stay after seeing friends. He replied staying with friends. That was it.

Feel a bit miffed, as normally he is more direct about meeting up. But I know he is going through some major issues and he doesn’t like the booty call idea, more come see me spend time as friends, cuddle on the sofa etc and then stays over. I think I am just in a grump as hormonal and really wanted to see him as it’s been a long lockdown. But is this a turn down as not interested, or he is busy and made plans to stay at friends so doesn’t want to change?

OP posts:
Incrediblytired · 09/08/2020 08:31

You are coming across as a bit sex pesty.

Turn it round: you feel crap, don’t fancy sex, you want a girls night and a male friend endlessly texts you suggestive texts even though you’ve said you are busy and don’t want to have sec with him.

You need a vibrator dear

Incrediblytired · 09/08/2020 08:34

Also the title of your post “was turned down. Right to be annoyed?”

No, never. You can be sexually frustrated but people are allowed to not want sex with you.

Being annoyed when someone won’t sleep with you is never a good look.

Othering · 09/08/2020 08:40

@Sunrise234

It sounds like he is either staying at his mates (as he’s gone to see them) or he’s staying at another fwb.

You can’t get too annoyed as this is part of the deal.
And you say he’s open but many men keep it a secret that they have multiple fwb as many females don’t like them shagging around so they worry they’ll lose them if they tell him. If he said he had another fwb would you stop?

You’re probably used to clicking your fingers and him come running Grin

Martin?
Livelovebehappy · 09/08/2020 08:55

I thought Feb situation was no strings attached, no emotions. If that’s the case I would think when he knocked you back that you would just shrug your shoulders and find something else to do. Sounds like you’re now a little bit invested with him emotionally.

KarmaStar · 09/08/2020 10:53

You're annoyed he hasn't jumped when you offered sex,from your point of view you've been rejected .
He was looking forward to a night out with his friends,no pressure.
You are invested in him more than you want to admit.
Have a serious think about your future.If he is no good as a boyfriend as you added,then maybe it's best to just be friends and look for a boyfriend,but even then,you can't expect them to drop their friends at the last minute on a night out because you've sent sexy pics.boundaries.

Chairlove · 10/08/2020 23:03

So I have an update. I have been invited out by fwb to dinner and drinks on Wednesday. We have never done that since we stopped dating. It’s even to one of my favourite restaurants. Hmm.

OP posts:
bottlenose301 · 10/08/2020 23:23

That's a good update (depending on how you look at it!)

OP, just a question - hypothetically, if he turned around and said he wants to give it another go with you (ie a relationship), how would you respond?

chubbyhotchoc · 10/08/2020 23:28

Silk purse, sow's ear. Hope he's paying

CardsforKittens · 10/08/2020 23:37

Any chance you’re just a bit grumpy because you’re horny? Only asking because I get grumpy when I’m horny for too long... hope you get what you need on Wednesday!

Chairlove · 10/08/2020 23:49

Haha. Yip grumpy as long lockdown.

Not too sure what I would say? He is not tye greatest boyfriend.

OP posts:
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