In thinking this isn't normal?

[Minkyscamp]

Discussion with my mum earlier trying to arrange a bbq for this weekend after not having spoken to her for a few days:

Mum: shall we do Saturday or Sunday?
Me: Sunday would be better as I have to take DS to the hospital on Saturday. He was in A&E yesterday with a problem with his foot, and they want to see him again tomorrow - no idea how long that will take.
Mum: ok, Sunday then. How much chicken shall I bring?

Then the conversation continued about the bbq and that was it. No 'Oh I hope he's ok now?' or what was wrong?'. She has no natural empathy at all ( or interest in her grandkids for that matter). It's been an ongoing gripe, but this really pissed me off.

It's not normal is it?

Definitely weird. No Grandmother I know would let that pass by.

With all relationships we have to decide how to manage them. You could make your Mum be more aware of others by talking a lot more about your DS and not expecting her to ‘ask’. Take more control of the relationship on the spot if you can.

I agree it's odd she didn't mention it.
But that never would be something I'd mention to my mum in passing, I'd have contact Ed her specifically and told her yesterday whilst in A&E most likely.

my mother is like this, she gets focused on her own stuff and doesnt "hear" what anyone i saying. I suspect sometimes its age related.

As you said this is the way she is so she is reverting to type but I do agree that naturally upon hearing about a hospital visit a normal person would ask if everything was ok.
That being said if I had to go to the hospital with any of the children the first person I would call either from the hospital or once I was back would be my mum so maybe your relationship is just not the sort where she thinks she needs to enquire further as you hadn't told her in the first place